A/N - I know, it's only supposed to be 10 songs. But I lost count so it turned into 11. Oops. Hope you enjoy some or all of them!
1. Theme from "Beauty and the Beast"
They had been afraid to admit how they felt. They were barely even friends. Then somebody bends, unexpectedly.
The little change happened after they had beamed back from yet another away mission gone bad. Jim was surprised to wake in med bay to find Spock holding his hand, watching him, Spock not realizing he was transmitting his thoughts to Jim.
//I was wrong. You are the sun that rises in the east. If you leave me, I will never be whole again.//
Despite the headache that threatened to split his head in half, Jim smiled at Spock. "I love you too."
2. Broken Vow by Josh Groban
Uhura knew it was over long before she would admit it even to herself. She had seen the way Spock looked at the Captain when he didn't think she noticed. Maybe he didn't even know he was doing it. They say that love is blind – maybe even to those who are experiencing it.
She couldn't blame Spock. He had made no vows to her. He had made no promises. And so her tears were her own. She had tried to explain to him – that she had to let him go. He wasn't hers. He looked confused and hurt and it soothed her ego for a while. But they were not the ones who were meant to be in love. It would be a lie to pretend that they were. He was meant for the Captain, not for her.
She'd give away her soul to make it not true. She loved Spock, more than she had ever loved anyone. More than she would ever love anyone else, but even that wasn't enough. Because she also loved him enough to let him go. That was the hardest part. But if he were happy, how could she fault either of them for it?
3. Layla by Eric Clapton (unplugged)
What will you do when you get lonely? Jim asked himself. He would absolutely not sleep with any of his crew. Not even that really cute yeoman in engineer. So what if her name was Layla? Just because it was his favorite rock song. Ever.
He felt like a fool, falling in love with his unapproachable First Officer. It turned his world upside down. Not that he minded all that much. He'd always made the best of every situation he'd found himself in. That's how he had become Captain of the Enterprise. But it wasn't all he wanted. He wanted Spock. In every way. He loved Spock. If only he had to nerve to tell him. Because if Spock didn't kill him, maybe Spock would make sure he was never lonely again. And that he would not go out of his mind with want.
Would it help to go to Spock on bended knee? To beg for an answer? Would he ease Jim's worried mind then?
4. Circle of Life – "Lion King"
"Death is a part of life," Bones told Jim when Lieutenant Jones died on an away mission. It was almost unbearably stupid that he was killed by the natives of the planet, the very day they had arrived. They were supposed to be meeting with the planet's government concerning their petition to join the Federation. And Jim couldn't simply leave the planet, despite loosing one of his crew members. Starfleet said they had to stay and finish the talks.
"It is part of the circle of life, Captain," Spock had said. "We all know that we could come to the end of our path at any time. We must take from life all that we want while we have the opportunity."
If Jim weren't so angry and so consumed with grief, he'd have heard the words Spock didn't say. That love too was a part of the circle of life.
5. It's Too Late - Carole King
"What's wrong?" Jim asked Spock when his Vulcan left the bed after they had finished making mind-blowing love.
"It was easier, before," Spock said, uncharacteristically hesitant. "When you were only my Captain. You were…light and breezy."
"What?" Jim asked, sitting up to study Spock who was standing with his back to Jim. "I was light and breezy? I don't even know what that means."
"I would see you and you would go past me. And it was fine. Now I want you to stay. I want you everywhere I am. I love you, Jim. And it feels like…"
"Like what? What do you want from me?" Jim asked in some trepidation.
"I…have never felt this way about anyone before," Spock admitted. "And it's too late to turn back from these emotions. I know that now."
"Good. Then come back to bed," Jim invited, holding up the covers.
6. Someone Saved My Life Tonight – Elton John
"Do whatever is necessary to secure the treaty." Sounded easy enough when Starfleet had issued those orders. Did they know that "whatever" would include Jim being forced to marry the ruling lord's daughter? She was sitting in the oversized chair, watching him like the cat about to pounce on the canary.
Could Jim tell them the truth? That he was already in a committed relationship? That he was bonded to Spock? That although they weren't yet married, they had done everything but say those specific words?
"Your royal highness," Spock said at 4 in the planet's morning, when he had finally gained an audience. "You cannot ask the Captain to forfeit his freedom. He is a citizen of Earth. They are notorious for needing their freedom. Like the beautiful butterflies of your planet. If you attempt to contain him, he will wither and die. His beauty will wilt, his spirit will not survive."
The king looked from Spock to Jim and back to Spock. "Yes. I see," he said. They both thought he saw a great deal more than he was saying. "We will sign your treaty. Your Captain will be free to leave. My daughter will find a more suitable mate."
When they were back safely aboard their ship, in their cozy bed, Jim snuggled even closer to Spock's warm body. "You saved my life tonight. You know that, right?"
"It was my life I saved," Spock corrected, kissing his snuggle bear and holding him tight.
7. You'll Accompany Me – Bob Seeger
"Before you leave, there's something you should know," Jim told Spock as Spock continued to pack to return to Vulcan 2.
"What is that, sir?" Spock asked, neatly folding his uniforms to put them in his tote.
"I know you think that love is a loosing game. That it burns itself out, leaving only ash. But that's not true for…everybody."
"I have no time for your riddles, sir," Spock said, going to his closet to take out another uniform. Jim followed him, closing his door.
"You and I," Jim said, reaching out to touch Spock's arm. "We were meant to be."
"To be what?"
"Don't be stupid," Jim said, shaking his head. "You don't want to leave me any more than I want you to go. You are supposed to accompany me as we travel through the stars."
"I am many things. Stupid is not one of them."
Jim silenced him with a kiss.
8. Hotel California – The Eagles
"I am not addicted to anything," Jim said with great indignation. What were Bones and Spock doing? Having an interference? Telling him he had to face his own demons or he'd never conquer them? "What the hell are you talking about?"
"You are addicted to lots of things, Jim," Bones said. "Scotty's moonshine. Coffee. Milkshakes. Worst of all is the marijuana."
"I don't smoke pot," Jim said a little too loudly.
"I never said you smoked it. I said you are addicted to it. You can't cook. So why the sudden interest in making brownies? In the middle of the night?"
"I just want the chocolate," Jim responded.
"Must I search your quarters?" Spock asked firmly.
"You are welcome to. You aren't going to find anything there. Except maybe a mirror on the ceiling. But that's only for recreational purposes."
"If you aren't consuming pot, why are your eyes bloodshot? Why do eat Doritos all hours of the day and night?" Bones asked.
"I don't have the munchies. My eyes are bloodshot because I need new contacts. Why don't you just use your fucking scanner? That will tell you I'm not eating or smoking pot," Jim said in anger.
Bones shook his head but did as Jim demanded, studying the readouts before showing it to Spock.
"Satisfied?" Jim asked.
9. Going to California - Led Zeppelin
"I'm going to California," Jim decided.
"When? Now?" Spock asked, turning on his side to better see his t'hy'la.
"No. For shore leave. Will you come with me? Not San Francisco. The mountains."
"I would like that," Spock said. "Perhaps we could also visit the ocean. Do some sun worshiping."
"Sun worshipping?" Jim laughed. "When did you start using that kind of language?"
"Shortly after your vocabulary started creeping into my mind," Spock said.
"I'm sorry," Jim said, laying flat on his back to look up at the ceiling. "No, I'm not sorry. I love you too much to ever be sorry that we are bonded and that I'm slowly corrupting you."
"I have no regrets at all," Spock assured him with a kiss.
10. Good Times Bad Times - Led Zeppelin
He supposed he knew what it meant to be a man. But it never occurred to him he'd find out by being made Captain of his starship. Not quite so quickly. It had always been his ultimate goal, helping him make it through the good times and the bad. But he just wasn't sure he knew everything that he needed to know to be a good Captain. How much discipline was enough? How tight a ship should he run? What did he know about appropriate Starfleet decorum and how to enforce it?
He was so very grateful that he had by his side a brown-eyed half-man who would help guide him, someone to be there through the good times and the bad. And he knew that there would be more good than bad because he had Spock's promise.
11. I Feel the Earth Move – Carole King
Whenever I see your face, I feel the ship quake under my feet. The stars tumble from the sky. My heart trembles. And all you have to do is look at me.
Then you touch me, and the world comes to a stop. Your thoughts are my thoughts, your love warmer than the sun of Earth. And my emotions can't be contained but you don't mind. You revel in my love, in my chaotic thoughts, all mixed up in hotcoldloveneeddesirehomelove and you absorb it all, giving me peace and security in exchange.