"Oh God, I thought you were off today."
"What kind of doctor would I be if I just sat on my butt while there's a clinic in need of my expertise?"
"I knew I should have gone to another hospital."
"Other hospitals are full of nothing but bum doctors."
"Alright, alright, I'll cut the crap, Wilson."
"I mean it!"
"So do I. We both know those other doctors are just the bottom of the food chain."
"Just kill me now…"
"No, no, I'll stop. Then can we put this all behind us?"
"You are such an ass!"
"Hmm, I would say more like a pain in yours. Oh wait, that's what that huge industrial staple is!"
"I'm begging you, please just get it out and let me die of embarrassment in peace."
"Begging, huh? Okay, hold still… Got it!"
"Hey, I didn't tell you to pull your pants back up."
"That thing caused a pretty deep puncture wound and I know it's been more than five years for you, so…"
"Great, a tetanus shot too. Could my day get any worse?"
"Probably not. Now be a good little Wilson and turn your other cheek."