Hey fellow South Park fanfiction readerers! This is my first fanfiction, I had to write it because my friend is making me. CartmanXButters is one of my favorite pairings, so I hope you enjoy! (P.S. If you don't like reading about rape, please leave now. Because I like rape scenes, a lot. Too much actually, but oh well.)


"Shut up you fucking lard ass!" I heard Stan shriek at Eric from across the classroom. Poor Eric, he hardly does anything wrong and yet people still seem to get so gosh darn upset at him. I mean, maybe the stuff Eric does is sometimes hurtful, but It's good to hurt people. It builds their character. Golly, if my dad hadn't hit me so many times, who knows what sorts of trouble I might be getting myself into? Eric is just like a caring mother bear, always looking out for her cubs, always knowing what's best. And besides...he looks so, well, good with that smirk on his face. I've seen it so many times, looking at his face when it has that egotistical grin makes me feel like...well it makes me feel like I'm home. Home when my parents arent there, that is. Then home is pretty yucky.

Oh what am I saying! Stop it Butters, stop it! You can't just go around thinking some other boy is good-looking. It's completely wrong. I know for sure I was healed of my disgraceful..um..sexual desires after I left that camp for bi-curious boys. Of course, at that time I'm pretty sure I wasn't having these thoughts about anyone...but still. I need to learn my lesson the first time. Why, if I wasn't so lucky, I'm sure God would send me straight to hell to where I belong. Stupid, stupid Butters.

"Stop defending his ugly kike ass, Stan, you fuckin pussy!" Eric yelled while that familiar harsh glint of pure rage filled his eyes. Oh jeez, the fellers sure got him angry now! Well, it's time they learned there lesson anyway. You shouldn't ever disagree with someone as convincing and strong as Eric. I mean, he's, well he's just amazing.

"Now, fellers, I think maybe you should stop all the bickering. It's not nice to fight, you know."

Everyone in the room turned to stare at me. Oh golly why did I say that! I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut! Stupid Butters, why don't you learn?

Eric gave me an unrecognizable look. It was like the curious look tigers get after they kill there first prey. Scary, yet instinctively gorgeous.

"Well, Butters, what do you suggest we do? We aren't fags like you, we can't talk out our feelings or some bullshit." Eric replied, though the reply seemed slower than his usual comebacks.

"I..uhh..I-I'm sorry, I need to learn to stay out of other peoples business."

Oh, hamburgers! I shouldn't of said that out loud. Especially not with my awkward stutter, I'm sure I sounded so silly. If my dad hears about me getting embarrassed in school, I'll be grounded for sure.

"Damn right you need to stay out of our business you fucking queermo." Eric said, real anger in his eyes. Oh no, I hate it when hes upset! If only I were smarter, if only I were better.

If only I were good enough for him.

What? Did I really just think that?! Oh golly, I'm going straight to Hell, I just know it!

Before I could contemplate that last unholy thought, Mr. Garrison walked in. "Sit down and be quiet class! I need to catch up on my reading, then have some alone time with Mr. Hat "

I always wondered what he meant when he said that. I asked Kenny once, but he just laughed and muffled a response. Sometimes I feel like the only person who can't understand Kenny when he has his hood on, but at least he doesn't wear it that often anymore. In fact, now that he's older, he seems to be much more confident with his face. I can't blame him though, he has near perfect features. In fact, I'd say he was a really beautiful person. Almost as beautiful as....Oh, jeez, here I go again! Bad Butters, bad! Why, I deserve a spanking right about now. I should be ashamed of myself, thinking of two nice boys in such an evil way.

While I was mentally beating myself up, Mr. Garrison must've finished reading, because he got up and started drawing something real funny-looking on the chalkboard.

"This, kids, is the vagina. Today you will be learning about things like the vagina and penis, because the perverted bastards who run the school board want me to and because your parents don't feel like doin it themselves"

Jee wiz! Are we really aloud to look at these things?! We're only in 8th grade, we aren't even supposed to be thinking about these sorts of naughty things!

As went on to explain what a vagina was and how babies are made, I couldn't help thinking how nasty and yucky it all sounded. Why would any girl wanna fill herself up with sticky stuff? I also couldn't help noticing that I stared at the penis diagram for a much longer time than the um..vagina one. Oh jeez, what does that mean? Calm down butters, I'm sure it's normal. After all, vaginas are pretty gross looking, and penises are...well they're just so magical looking! Like a magic wand!

Just then everyone had their eyes on me. Golly, what did I do now? It was just then I realized I had said that last part out loud. Oh no, oh no! the fellas will surely never forget this! If my dad even knew I was thinking about thees kinda things, I'd be in loads of trouble!

After afew seconds of a more than awkward silence, everyone started giggling which turned into howling laughter when Eric said, "Woah there Butters! I bet you'd like to make some pixie dust come outta my magic wand, wouldn't ya?"

My cheeks turned beat red at the mere thought of Eric's um..magic wand in my hand. Something funny was happening down in my pants, and though I wasnt sure what, I knew it made me turn 10 times redder than before.

"Enough class!" Mr. Garrison said as he got a hold of his almost uncontrollable laughter. "I'd love to stand here and make fun of the school faggot all day, but principle Victoria warned me that if I didn't actually make you learn something, she'd fire me, and probably chop my sweet sexy balls off."

Those last awkward words made everyone stop their laughing to small controlled chuckles.

"Now, this is the male penis. When it is aroused, it becomes hard and bone-like. This is why it is called a boner. Can you say that with me class?"

"Boner?" Mr. Hat ,and a few other kids repeated, huge smiles on their faces from trying to stifle bursting back out into laughter.

"There, now you've learned something. Go masturbate or whatever it is you kids do in your spare time, I have to go to the bathroom and um..Play with Mr. Hat"

As soon as and left, everyone started talking and laughing louder than ever. Mostly while they were staring at me. Oh jeez, I can feel my face getting all red and clammy again. I looked over to see Eric staring straight at me, an eerily blank expression on his face. I looked back at him, looked into those marvelous soft brown eyes of his, and although I was a bit nervous, I couldn't look away, and apparently neither could he. The strange eye contact was broken when Kyle threw an eraser at him, saying something along the lines of, "Heres a snack for you, you bitchy little pig!". Even though I was a bit miffed at Kyle being so mean to Eric about his weight again, I couldn't quite pay attention to what he was saying. I just kept staring at Eric, and even though our eye contact had long since been broken, I looked at him the whole rest of the class period.

The rest of the day went on as normal, someone put something icky into my PB&J sandwich, then Damien gave me a wedgie. Usually these things bothered me a little, but today all I could think about was how wonderful and mesmerizing Eric looked when I saw him.

That night, I had my very first wet dream.

Hope you liked it! Next chapter probably coming soon, but for now I really need to go to bed. Sorry if it was too short, I really wanted to give Butters's first wet dream it's own chapter. Please review, Id really like to know if anyone is even reading this story haha.