Disclaimer: Not JK.
THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT
They weren't doing something to get worked up over – Salazar knew that.
…Or at least they hadn't been doing anything, yesterday and before any beverage of the alcoholic nature had somehow implicated itself in their celebration of the ending of the very first year of having students at Hogwarts.
Salazar half-heartedly scratched the back of his head, scowling as he felt something of dubious nature attach itself to his hand as he did so. He blinked his eyes blearily, and wiped it off on the nearest readily available surface to wipe it off on – which just happened to be a robe.
"Nhg… imma… I'm not a handkerchief, Sally." The Gryffindor sprawled beside him muttered, rolling away and taking the unspecified thing with him.
Slytherin just hummed in a non-affirmative way, stumbling a little as he tried to get his bearings and clutch his aching head.
"SALAZAR HADRIAN SLYTHERIN!!! GODRIC MATTIAS GRYFFINDOR!!! WHERE IN ALL THE NINE LEVELS OF HELL ARE YOU!!??"
The two wizards shared guttural groans at the dulcet tones of the Lady Ravenclaw.
"She just has to -"
"- yes. Every time."
"Don't you think…?"
"No. It won't stop."
The men winced. Salazar, being of slightly clearer mind, looked around to try and recognise where they were.
"Er, Dory?" He asked slowly, staring at the rather obvious and rather not-supposed-to-be-there addition.
"Godric." His voice was slightly panicked now, as the addition opened a large eye.
"Shut up." Godric, as he was wont to do, lived on in oblivious bliss.
Salazar was frozen. "It winked at me."
Rowena Ravenclaw was irate, furious, seething, livid, apoplectic... – and all of those other fun words that are fancy ways of saying that she was not too far away from going on a homicidal rampage that the likes of which would only be spoken of in hushed voices in seedy taverns.
She stalked through Hogwarts corridors, glaring at the suits of armour which either scattered loudly out of her way or pointed in the direction of those two… sorry excuses for human beings.
"They should have never been wizards!" When she started muttering to herself, it was generally bad for the party to stir her anger. "…I mean, just think of all the trouble they caused me in a single year! Salazar must have found a loophole in our agreement about the Point System rules – I am certain that more than reasonable was deducted by him in aid of his own House. And… and using Godric's poor hat like that… argg!!"
"SALAZAR, GRYFFINDOR!! YOU'VE MANAGED TO AVOID ME SO FAR, BUT THERES ONLY SO MANY PLACES YOU CAN HIDE!!!
She sharply turned a corner, continuing her stalking. And that was when she saw on of the subjects of her ire.
"GRYFFINDOR…!!" She growled, slowly and deliberately drawing her wand out and levelling it at the man who was hastily backing away with his palms raised in front of himself.
"Now now, Row! Er, no need for decapitation between friends, correct?" He smiled charmingly at her, eyeing her as one eyes a volatile hippogriff or Dragon protecting her eggs.
"Gryffindor!" She snarled again, wand shooting off sparks in her fury.
A cough from behind Godric caught Rowena's attention, and she snapped her head to the source of the noise to see a green-eyed man practically lounging against the doorframe behind him. "Slytherin!"
"My my, stuck on a rather limited vocabulary today, aren't we Miss-Knowledge?" The Slytherin drawled, smirking in that way that tells you he's found some way to slither out of his latest trouble.
Rowena despised that smirk – it was the same bloody smirk he'd had on when he'd grandly announced to all and sundry the complex and epic charm that they had devised to allow the students to experience the joys of seeing the sky – instead of admitting that it was an anomaly of magic and he'd accidentally done it and none of them had been able to undo it… although it wasn't like Salazar really tried, anyway. That piece of work made it so Helga couldn't keep trying to take it down.
"Sal, I don't think now's the time to… irritate the beautiful Lady Ravenclaw, yes?" Gryffindor was reaching, and he also sounded nervous. Rowena decided she'd castrate him second.
Her wand whipped up, pointing straight at Slytherin's most-treasured limb.
"Ah ah ah." Slytherin wagged his finger at her, and she cursed as her wand was yanked from her grip before it flew into his.
She growled in inarticulate rage, stalking forward but eyeing her own wand with trepidation – Slytherin knew the best hexes, after all.
"Now, Rowena. You won't want to kill us, because we have gotten you a birthday gift."
She didn't know what Sal was playing at this time, but raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "It was my birthday four months and three weeks ago."
"Well yeah." Slytherin announced, staring at her as if she was the strange one. "And we decided it would be remiss of us to allow your birthday to continue to go unnoticed. And the present we were working on for you wasn't finished until today, which is why you couldn't find us."
Slytherin was talking smoothly, but he always did. His face was also straight, although Rowena really didn't know how he spouted such utter bullshit without batting an eye. She was, understandably, sceptical. "And so you just happened to be avoiding me this morning after yesterday you ditched Helga and I to arrange for the means to return all of the students in Hogwarts to return to their primary caretakers?" It came out heavily sarcastic, but Rowena felt it got her point across anyways.
"Yes." Salazar nodded, completely agreeing with her and ignoring the sarcasm with which she had spoken it. Git. Rowena had tried to find spells that allowed one to keep a steady head in such situations, but had come up woefully short. The only thing close to it would be deliberately petrifying ones own face, and one could not speak when the spell was in effect.
He gestured to the door behind him, and Rowena was nudged forward by the silent Gryffindor (apparently, he had been willing to let Slytherin talk her out of castration, which admittedly displayed a higher level of self-preservation than she had credited him with). "We introduce, Lady Ravenclaw, The Room of Requirement."
Rowena looked. "Its just a room."
"No! Not just a room! The Room of Requirement!"
"There's nothing in it. And it's smaller than even our offices. I do not see anything remarkable about this room."
"Rowena, this is your birthday gift! As if we'd just show you a room for no reason!" Salazar exclaimed, his eyes widening in the endearing way he used when he was trying really hard but couldn't force himself to believe his own words.
Gryffindor snorted along with Ravenclaw, but Godric's response was halted by Salazar deliberately stepping on his foot.
"Rowena, this Room can be anything you desire! An office, a classroom, a training ground – anything. And what's better is that it can make a copy of anything in the castle and conjure it into the room – the objects won't be able to be taken out of it, but it is still useful! And if say, you wanted to put a real object into it, the room could hide it away so you'd only find it if you asked it specifically!"
Rowena was shocked as the walls seemed to expand, moving far out and bookshelves suddenly entered the room, along with furniture. Her jaw dropped.
"Is that my couch?" Godric muttered somewhere in the background, but Rowena ignored him and his subsequent yelp, moving to the nearest bookshelf and pulling the book out. 'Prominent Wizards of the century' stared up at her from the title, and she flipped it open, still trapped in awe of the place.
"How… how did you create something like this?" She breathed, looking back at the black and red haired men behind her.
"Well, it's a good story…" Salazar began, rubbing the back of his hair sheepishly.
"…Yeah! You see, it has to do with a dragon, a phoenix and a large amount of alcohol, not to mention a dare…"
"Stop." Rowena stated, her voice like ice. She stared at them, unimpressed. "Tell the truth." She stressed 'truth', just in case the resident nutjobs didn't understand her inquiry.
They looked at each other, and it was Salazar who spoke. "Fine." He was pouting. Yes, she could definitely see a pout. "We spent months creating the charms, and we couldn't got it done in time –like I said before, so we decided that since we finally got it done – yesterday, mind you, which was why we couldn't help with the students – that we should show you the product of our work."
Rowena found that she could accept that. She nodded, smiling; "Thankyou Salazar, Godric; and I am sorry for being angry with you before. You may leave."
Salazar and Godric traded looks and quickly backed out of the room, leaving Rowena to her devices.
The moment Slytherin shut the door behind them, they slumped, breathing twin sighs of relief.
Salazar then smirked at Godric, making a victory sign that was echoed by his lion-loving friend. Slytherin allowed Godric to toss an arm over his shoulder in a sign of camaraderie as they went to the room directly opposite the one they'd just shown to Rowena.
Salazar opened it, stuck his head in and said, "Ok guys, all clear. Get out the back and we'll cover you."
A/N: LOL! This was actually the first one that came into my head when I started writing these oneshots, so I hope you enjoyed :)