1. Beast – "I know I accuse you of being a beast sometimes, Klaus, especially when you handle art, but being a were-entelodon – well, now, that's simply showing off."

2. Unworthy – For a fleeting second doubt filled his mind -"Am I really worthy?"- but then he laughed gaily at his own folly -"Of course I am!"- and lifted down the Mona Lisa.

3. Ship - "Oh," Dorian said with utter disappointment, "you wanted me to steal a ship for you; I could have sworn I heard you say something about wanting a relationship."

4. Evening – Klaus used to dislike evenings, when all important things of the day were dealt with and he was forced to wait until morning before he could get anything more done - but since he got together with Dorian he decided that evenings weren't totally pointless after all.

5. Public – Klaus forbade any form of on-mission PDAs - but his husband usually just ignored him and made them anyway.

6. Embrace – Ever since Dorian had blathered on about "falling into Morpheus' embrace" as a euphemism for falling asleep, Klaus had suffered from bouts of insomnia.

7. Sorcery – "By the beard of Zeus," Klaus growled, "I don't feel like myself, someone must have ensorcelled me!"

8. Mermaid – Oh, how James wanted to find a mermaid - a real mermaid, with a tail and scales and breasts and a pretty smile - it would bring millions on eBay!

9. Perspire – Klaus's oil-slick skin; the saturated light reflecting in beads of perspiration on his chest and shoulders; the relaxed look on his face and the faint smile on his lips - oh yes, Dorian was definitely having a sauna installed in the Castle Gloria spa.

10. Look – "Look - a UFO," Dorian cried out, pointing up with his right hand while reaching into Klaus's jacket pocket with his left.

11. Drunk – Having a drunk Major von dem Eberbach crawl into his bed made Dorian thrilled beyond words and very hopeful for the future – but the sixth time that the very same thing happened his feelings bordered more on frustration.

12. Blood – Klaus was used to Dorian looking at him hungrily - but not that the hunger was due to blood lust.

13. Tree – "You put up surveillance cameras in the Christmas tree to catch me, ah, checking the wrapping on some packages - Klaus, really, you can't prove anything, it was a trap, you framed me!"

14. Bite – "I used to dream of sucking you, Klaus, but ... I never considered the possibility of being forced to do so because of a poisonous snake bite."

15. Gamble – Most of Klaus's life was a high-odds gamble with his life at stake, but lately he'd come to consider the British Earl a safe bet.

16. Blind – Normally Dorian just turned a blind eye to Klaus's fascination with guns, but cleaning his Magnum in bed - naked?

17. Chemistry – Klaus woke smiling faintly after a truly nice dream involving him, Dorian, chemistry class, an experiment gone wrong and all that curly hair turning bright green - brilliant!

18 Later – Klaus might be a late bloomer, but luckily Dorian is just the right man to handle all that pent-up lust.

19. Curse – It's when their superior stops cursing and gets that flat, cold look in his eyes that the Alphabets knows it's time to run for their lives.

20. Office – "But if I redecorate a room in the castle to be an exact copy of your office," Dorian said with some exasperation, "will you at least have sex with me there, then, Klaus?"

21. Clash – Greater love hath no dandy than one who no longer sees how the ties of the man he loves clash with, well, pretty much everything, really.

22. Drown – "No, no, no, milord, don't give in to their demands, I've always wanted to die for you, and to drown in liquid gold is the most wonderful death I could ever think of, oh, please don't do what they want!"

23. Window – To his enemies Klaus's eyes weren't as much windows to his soul as windows to the valley of death.

24. Nine – "Actually, Klaus, when you said that 'it' is about nine inches long, I thought you meant ... well, not your Magnum."

25. Damage – "They are attempting to blackmail me; threatening to damage my reputation by outing me as a homosexual," Klaus grated into Dorian's ear a second before kissing him for the first time.

26. Garden – Considering the many, many missions Eroica had messed up for him, it was with considerable satisfaction that Klaus ordered the Alphabets to crash the North Downs garden party.

27. Custom – It took three plane trips with tearful farewells and hugs from Dorian on one side of customs and a white-faced Bonham on the other side stumbling into him, before Klaus realised that they were using him as a diamond smuggling mule.

28. Cocktail – "Don't be gauche, dear Bonham," Dorian whispered into his earpiece as he slipped a mickey into the cocktail glass he intended to offer the major later, "I just want to know if he's a, um ... natural brunet?"

29. Soft – On rare occasions - and only ever when he is all alone - Klaus will slowly run a hand through his hair – it's the only thing about him that is soft.

30. Echo – The -"Dorian, I love you."- words -"Dorian, I love you."- echoed -"Dorian, I love you."- across -"Dorian, I love you."- the -"Dorian, I love you."- world.

31. Exile – Major von dem Eberbach once more considered the likely fate awaiting him – lifetime exile to Great Britain – and took a steadying breath before he looked his father straight in the eyes and told him the truth.

32. Hand – During the day Dorian would hear Klaus say some rather hurtful things, but he ignored them all, knowing that when the night came, Klaus's hands would ask his forgiveness.

33. Blade – A red-hot iron blade can cut through gold, but when the gold hardens again, the iron is stuck.

34. Language – Between them they speak at least eight languages, yet both of them occasionally have great difficulty understanding the other.

35. Monday – Just because Rome wasn't built in a day, Klaus sees no reason why they can't get all the week's paperwork done on Monday, thus freeing them up to get more important things done during the rest of the week.

36. Phenomenon – Klaus dreams of Dorian sometimes - and sometimes this strange, inexplicable phenomenon occurs even when he's awake.

37. Mess – After being saved from the Swedish wilderness by the coast artillery, and being forced to eat mess food on his way back to civilisation, Dorian took to regularly sending care packages of decent food to his brave rescuers.

38. Watch – Watching Dorian handle the powerful crossbow, Klaus felt decidedly horny.

39. Cushion – The morning after Klaus felt a reluctant appreciation for the ridiculously soft, cushioned seats of the sofas in the Castle Gloria morning room (though, of course, he'd rather slit his throat than say so out loud).

40. Haven – Le Fromage Bleu is a haven for weary Alphabets: the French restaurant is nearly hidden between a huge candy shop and a gay bar and they feel fairly sure that Major von dem Eberbach will never find them there.

41. Brand – "Eroica beauty products for men – the only brand if you want to catch your man!"

42. Temple – Dorian's body is a temple – and he expects worship.

43. Suit – "Klaus Heinz, I just received an odd phone call from a rather strange individual, a Brit I believe, claiming to be your suitor and asking for my blessing and your hand in marriage, is there something you wish to tell your father?"

44. Resolution – On learning that Klaus had made a resolution to remain chaste until he had been promoted, Dorian at first nearly cried - then he started to plot.

45. Peach – "Compare any part of my anatomy with a peach again and I will shoot you for real this time, husband or not."

46. Crash – Dorian woke to the crash of china and then his lover's voice floated in from the darkness: "I broke that vase of yours, the blue and white one you call your 'Ming thing'; I hope it wasn't very valuable."

47. Temper – "For fuck's sake, the temperature's over 15 degrees, we don't have to huddle together naked for body heat, you lunatic pervert!"

48. Spare – For James's birthday he went to his favourite spot in town and begged people for spare change - and the rest of the gang took to accosting pedestrians in the surrounding streets, handing them coins.

49. Survival – "I beg to differ, Klaus; what do you mean that conditioner for my hair is not essential for an emergency survival pack?"

50. Invisible - After hearing of Eroica's recent visit to Griffin, a.k.a. the Invisible Man, Klaus took to wearing bathing trunks in the shower.