TRUTH OR DARE – RENT-HEAD STYLE

SUMMARY: THE GANG IS BORED AND DEICDED TO PLAY A HARMLESS (RIGHT?) LITTLE GAME OF TRUTH OR DARE.

RATED: T-M FOR GRAPHIC SCENES AND LANGUAGE.

PAIRINGS: ROGER/MIMI, ROGER/MARK BANTER, COLLINS/ANGEL, MAUREEN/JOANNE.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I DON'T OWN RENT AND REVIEWS MAKE MY DAY


"I'm bored," Mark announced back at the loft. Everyone was there – Mimi (as always), JoAnne, Maureen, Angel, and Collins. Not that Mark necessarily minded, but he did feel that as the host, he should be providing them with something to do.

"And what do you suggest? Macramé making?"

"Macramé? Do you even know that the hell macramé is?" Mark asked.

"Nope, but it sounds boring. Figured you'd like it." Mimi shot him a look but was smirking along with all the others. Mark rolled his eyes.

"Oh God, he isn't going to suggest charades next, is he?" JoAnne giggled.

"Shut up!" Mark rolled his eyes again, "What do YOU suggest."

"Me?" JoAnne brought a hand to her chest in fake-surprise, "Why, I would suggest truth or da…"

"Oooh no!"

"No?"

"What's wrong now?" Roger sighed, annoyed.

"Nothing," Mark swallowed, "It's just I wouldn't pay truth or dare with the whole lot of you if someone paid me!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Angel asked.

"It means if I play, I am probably going to be the one that winds up forced to be naked running around with that chicken sitting in the freezer, and singing 'I'm a birdie boy.'"

Roger made a sour face, lifting one brow in complete and utter shock, "I…I don't even want to know how in the fuckin' hell you came up with that idea."

"You, you moron!" Mark shouted, "Back in the tenth grade at Sarah Lesster's party!"

"Hmm…I don't remember."

"Well, you were the one that dared me to do it."

"Was I drunk?" Roger asked, eying him suspiciously. When Mark said yes, Roger threw his hands up in the air, "Well then there you go! I cannot be held accountable for anything I do when I am drunk, you know that."

"But…"

"Now, quit being a baby. Who wants to start?

The group stared at the little circle they had subconsciously formed, and waited for someone to pop up with an 'I will.'

When no one did, Maureen grinned, "I'll start."

"Shit," Mark squirmed uncomfortably.

"Mark, what's wrong? Please tell me you don't have your underwear in a twist. Who's to say I will even pick you and then again, if I do, there's always the 'truth' option."

"But then he'd be destined to be considered even more of a weenie than he already is," Roger pointed out."

"Fine, dare."

"Oh," Maureen smirked, "Anxious are we? I haven't even picked you."

"But…"

"Angel," Maureen's eyes fell upon the gorgeous drag queen who was currently sitting in her boyfriend, Tom Collins' lap, eying the whole scene. Angel giggled when she heard her name called, either from the excitement of it, or the fact that Collins was tracing little ticklish circles upon her back.

"Truth or dare?" Maureen asked.

"Honey, you already know the answer to that – dare," Angel's lips curled into a dangerous grin.

"I dare you to do something nasty with Collins."

"Here?" Collins' eyes nearly busted out of their sockets.

"No, in the kitchen," Maureen's eyes rolled, "Of course here. That's the fun of it."

"But it's my dare, not his," Angel pointed out.

"It's okay, baby," Collins said, nibbling on her earlobe, causing Angel to giggle again, "Just do your thing. It's fine."

Angel stood up from his lap and began to unbutton his shirt. She undid each button with precision while wiggling her hips side to side. Once the buttons were done, she opened the shirt up wider – revealing a stone chest. Carefully, she slid blue-painted fingertips across the bare skin, exciting goose bumps in their tracks. Collins wanted to let a moan escape his lips but knew he'd never live it down if he did. Damn, Maureen!

Angel's fingers worked their way lower and across the sensitive area of his stomach. She was well-aware of this and began to rake those blue fingers across the flesh. Collins' stomach tightened and quivered.

"Just how much 'nasty' do you want me to do?" Angel asked, not skipping a single beat with Collins. The torture was killing him. If they were alone, he'd grab her in a heartbeat, smothering her in kisses.

"That's fine," Maureen grinned, seeing the pained look on Collins' face.

"Okay," Angel grinned, hanging Collins his shirt.

"I swear," he said through clenched teeth, "When we get back to the apartment, you're going to pay for that."

Angel squealed with delight as he grabbed her, pulling her back onto his lap.

"Okay," Maureen nodded towards Angel, "Your turn."

Angel thought it over for a bit before tapping a finger to Collins' chest, "Collins, truth or dare."

"Dare."

Angel giggled, knowing that that would be her lover's response, "I dare you to…" she rummaged around in her bag, pulling out a hairbrush, and handing it to him, "…sing show-tunes into this hairbrush while dancing around the apartment."

"What?" Collins asked, his eyes wide.

"You said dare."

"Do it! Do it! Do it!" Roger and Mark began to chant.

"Fine," Collins snatched the hairbrush away from Angel and began to sing, "If I were a rich man…a didle didle dydle dee…I'd have all the money in the world…if I were a wealthy ma-a-a-aaaan!" He then proceeded to carry out an attempt at Jewish dancing that caused Mark, along with everyone else, to laugh until their sides hurt.

"Alright," Angel released him, "You can stop."

Collins walked over to sit down with her, but before doing so, gave her a gentle little smack with the hairbrush.

"Eek!" Angel squealed, before turning and sticking her tongue out at him.

"See, this is why I never take you out in public," Collins pulled her over to him and held her in his arms, "Because I can never do what I want to do if we're surrounded by people."

"We can cover our eyes," Mimi offered.

"But then Mark would have to listen and we all know that those virgin-ears of his…"

"Shut up!" Mark glared towards his best friend.

"Hey, it's not my fault that…"

"Okay!" Collins held up a hand, "Roger."

"Oh shit."

"Yeah, oh shit. Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Weenie!" Mark pointed an accusing finger.

"It only works when I call you that, dumbass," Rodger answered defensively, "Truth."

"Alright then," Collins tapped a finger to his chin as Angel eyes him, her eyes shining with excitement, "Have you ever thought about Mark in an intimate way?"

"WHAT?"

"DUDE!"

"Answer it."

"You're mean, baby," Angel giggled, her had resting against his chest.

"No, I just like to see them squirm."

JoAnne and Maureen were bursting with laughter and Mark was turning redder than a pepper in a pickle tub.

"Hell to the fuckin' no," Roger announced.

"Aw," Mark sighed, "Well now I'm hurt. I mean, I am a fairly attractive guy, right?"

"Again," Roger said calmly, "Hell to the fuckin' no."

"Well I think he's cute," Angel grinned, "Like a puppy or a baby monkey."

"What the hell!?!" Mark turned on her, "A puppy? A monkey?"

"Just when you do that thing with your nose."

"My turn again," Roger interrupted, "Mimi!"

"Yes," Mimi smiled innocently.

"Truth or…"

"Dare."

"Alright. I dare you to dance in front of all of us."

"Really now? Is that the worse you can come up with?"

"At the time, yes."

"Alright."

Mimi wiggled into the middle of the circle and began to dance. Angel clapped and shouted, "Work it, chica!" And Roger's eyes nearly popped out. He loved watching her dance – her every curve, her every move, her every shimmy.

"She's good," Mark nodded towards the dancer.

"Of course she," Roger agreed, "But if that wanger you're working gets any worse for her, I will chop it off, got it?"

"I-I…uh…" Mark looked down at his jeans, not knowing what to say.

"Made you look!" Roger sang. Mark leaned over and punched him.

"Geeze! Feisty, are we?"

"Shut up!"

"You always fall for that ol' wanger trick. You should know by know that you can't get it up so me accusing you of having one just would be pretty much impossi…OW!"

"Alright, children," Mimi sat in between them, "It's my turn and I chose JoAnne. JoAnne, truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Okay…"

"WEENIE!"

"And again," Roger threw his hands up in the air, "Only works if I say it to you."

"Have you ever lied about being lesbian."

"Yes," JoAnne answered truthfully, "To my parents because I didn't think they'd be cool with it, and to myself when I was like fifteen. My turn! Collins!"

"Yes?"

"Truth or dare."

"Dare."

"I dare you to…to show up at the Life tonight with Angel's makeup on."

Angel giggled profusely, doubling over. She could hardly wait!

"You think that's funny?" Collins asked. Angel shook with laughter, nodded a yes. "Well then, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to not laugh," Collins instructed. Angel's brow creased, not knowing what he meant. Quickly though, as his fingers began to trace her neck, she understood. Collins knew everything about her, including the fact that she was the most ticklish person in the world and where all of her best spots where. She began to bite her lower lip as those fingers traced down her neck and towards her sides. She was shaking by the time he started to work on her stomach. It was unbearable torture.

Mimi giggled hysterically, causing Angel to mentally curse her friend. This was hell, complete, utter hell. And Thomas Collins was enjoying every moment of it!

"How long will she last?" Roger asked, amazed at how still the drag queen was being. Her muscles were stoic under her flesh, but her head was screaming.

"Not too much longer," Mimi told him, and she was right. Just as Collins began to attack her harder, Angel burst into squealy laughter, still, he remained relentless. After Collins figured she had all she could take and then tons more, he stopped, pulling her against him, and kissing her forehead sweetly.

"Don't try and be cute," Angel smacked him, "Do you know how much torture that was?"

Collins shrugged, "So?"

"Jerk! Roger! Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"You gotta do at least one dare!" Mark pressured.

"Don't tell me what to do! Dare."

"I dare you to," Angel giggled, "Grab that chicken out of the freezer, strip naked, and run around seeing 'I'm a birdie boy.'"

"No way!"

"Yes."

"But…but…"

"Gotta do it," Mimi smirked at him. Roger finally gave in, stripping naked and heading towards the kitchen.

"Thank you," Mark smiled at Angel.

"Don't mention it. He's been getting on my nerves all day and he deserves this. Eat your heart out, Mark Cohen."

Roger returned him the kitchen, bird covering the lower part of his body.

"Well now, that's no fun," Mimi objected.

"Bird down," Angel insisted. Roger did as he was told, moving the bird away and began to skip around the loft.

"I'm a birdie boy, I'm a birdie boy, I'm a birdie boy, I'm a birdie boy…"

Mark nearly passed out laughing along with everyone else. Angel was right, Roger did deserve this. After his little moment of hell, Roger put the bird down and got dressed.

"I say we quit this game or one of us is going to end up killing someone."

"True," Angel cocked a brow towards Collins.

"What?"

"You know what."

"Look, I'm sorry."

"Sorry," Angel mimicked, "Anyone can say sorry."

"Can I make it up to you?"

"How?"

"Dinner tonight."

"That'll do."

"Hey lover-boy, cutie-pie," Mimi grinned, "We still got a game to plan. You in or out?"

"In," Angel answered.

"Mark," Roger turned on his best friend.

"Damn it."

"Yeah. I dare you…"

"But I didn't pick dare!"

"So? What's your point? I dare you to go over to that pillar and declare your love to it."

"What? That's so…"

"Do it."

Mark begrudgingly got up and walked to the concrete pillar, "Oh pillar, my pillar, how I love thee!" The gang burst out laughing, "Such a beautiful specimen. Oh pillar, my pillar, you…you…make me…"

"Hard!" Roger shouted for him, "Now consummate it."

"The fuck?"

"Consummate!" Mimi chanted. Soon Maureen, JoAnne, Collins, and Angel joined in, "Con-sum-mate! Con-sum-mate! Con-sum-mate!"

Mark rolled his eyes, wrapped his arms around the pillar, and began to thrust his hips.

"Boring! Where's the sound effects?" Roger pouted.

"Oh yeahhhh!" Mark rolled his eyes, "Yeahhh baby! Oh…oh!"

Everyone burst out laughing as he continued, "Oh…yes…beautiful pillar…yes! I love you so much! Yes, yes, yes! Tell me you love me too! Tell me that you love your Roger."

That got everyone into tears…with an exception to Roger.

"Excuse me?"

"Sounds like you get it on by screwing concrete pillars," Angel smiled innocently and shrugged.

"I do not!"

"Yes!" Mark continued, "Oh yes! I am sexy guitarist with a body like the gods! Yes! Yes! I know you love it…tell me you love it! If I were capable of not being an ass, I might actually get a girl to please me like you do…but YES! All the girls know the truth. They know I am an insensitive jerk…yes! Come on, yes!"

"Are you seeing this?" Roger asked Mimi who giggled.

"Mmhmm. I think it's pretty clever."

"YES!!!!!!!!!!!"

"That's it!" Roger stood from the floor, "You are a dead man, Mark!"

"Gotta catch me first!"

"They are so immature," Mimi rolled her eyes. A loud crash and a curse screamed from the kitchen.

"I guess there goes that game of truth or dare," Angel sighed.

"Well, I kind of figured with us playing it, it might end up with someone dead and another one of us hauled away to the slammer for manslaughter."

"IN THIS CASE, I THINK A JURY WOULD UNDERSTAND I DID IT OUT OF INSANITY!" Roger shouted, still chasing after Mark.

"Do you guys want to scram?" JoAnne asked, "And leave them here?"

"But the loft will be destroyed," Mimi objected.

"Well do you really want to sit here and watch Beevus and Butthead go at it all night?" Maureen asked.

"No," Mimi admitted, "BYE ROGER! SEE YOU LATER! AND IF I COME BACK TO FIND THIS APARTMENT IS IN DISSARAY…"

Another crash sounded.

"I give up," she rolled her eyes, "To the Life?"

"To the Life!"

"Wait a second," Angel paused, "If I am remembering correctly, I still have to do someone's makeup."

"Ange," Collins warned, "I said I was sorry. Are you mad?"

"Very," Angel answered, then after a few seconds, "And now I'm over it."

"Whew, for a second there I thought you really were going to do my makeup."

"I never said I wasn't," Angel grinned, waving a threatening tube of lipstick in his face.

As Angel chased Collins around and Roger chased Mark around, the three remaining friends just shook their heads.

"They are so in love," Mimi smiled to herself.

"I didn't think two people could love each other so much."

"Too bad it's not obvious to them."

"Wait, what?" They turned on Maureen.

"What?"

"Who are you talking about?"

"Who are YOU talking about?" She retaliated.

"Angel and Collins," Mimi said, "Who are YOU talking about."

Maureen scoffed, "Angel and Collins of course!"

"Come on," JoAnne nodded to the door, "I need a drink."

"Me too," Mimi followed after her.

Maureen lingered behind, watching them run around like little kids.

"They do love each other," she said flatly, "Even if I am the only one who can see it."


AUTHOR'S NOTE: NORMALLY I SHY AWAY FROM ROGER/MARK BUT THIS WAS JUST TOO MUCH FUN!