A Super Mario Sketch Show New Year.
Let's see how Mario and his friends celebrate the new year!
Scene 1 – Peach's castle.
Peach is having a party at her castle. Everybody seems to be having a fun time, except for Mario who is sitting in a chair in a huff.
A news reporter on the television is reading the countdown to 2010.
News reporter. 10 seconds, folks, 10, 9, 8 , 7, 6 , 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy 2010 everybody!
Toad: It's 2010!
Yoshi: Yoshi! (Translation: Alright)
Luigi: Wow. I've heard of people being in a huff at Christmas. But at the new year?
Peach: What's the matter, Mario?
Mario: 2010 is gonna suck!
Peach: Oh…c'mon. How do you know that?
Mario: Because Sony is gonna release the motion controller for PS3 and Microsoft is gonna release Project Natal. That could put the Wii in big trouble!
Luigi: Hey….look on the bright side, if anything happens we could always just be like Sonic the Hedgehog and appear on other consoles.
Toad: Wow. Mario on Xbox! That would be weird! Maybe I'll look like a real-life fungus!
Mario: But look how much appearing on other consoles ruined Sonic. Even though I don't care for him, that could be us! (Runs off crying.)
Luigi: Sigh…he just loves being the center of attention as a mascot, doesn't he?
Peach: Well at least this year, he's not taking too much alcohol and throwing up all over everybody's jackets.
Luigi: It seems even Sonic's defeat isn't even making Mario happy now. Remember how happy he was?
We cast a memory back to 2002. Where Sonic is sitting in a park drinking a bottle of whisky. He is in sadness. Besides him is a newspaper that says "Dreamcast has poor sales and Sega retires from hardware business." Mario is pointing at him and laughing. He has a magic cape on which you receive from touching the feather in Super Mario World.
Mario (giving Sonic the finger and dancing): Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Who's the fucking man, now!? You're working for me now, bitch!
Sonic (sobbing): Have mercy.
Mario : Hey remember your commercials for the Sega Genesis in America. Remember the motto "Genesis does what Nintendon't?" Yeah it did what Nintendo didn't and that's why we kicked your asses!
Sonic: That's it! I'm gonna snap your neck!
Mario: Ho ho! Good thing I have a magic cape power up! (Flies away from him.)
We then cut back to Luigi and Peach.
Luigi : I don't care if we're rivals. I still think Mario was really mean to him.
Peach: Oh come on, after a good amount of those Sega Genesis and Game Gear commercials that mocked Nintendo's SNES and Game Boy, how could he NOT act like that? Sega were jealous bastards. Well, I don't know about you and I can't predict the future but if Mario games ever appear on other consoles I won't be annoyed.
Luigi: Same here. After all we're just small characters in Mario's world, right?
Sketch 2 – The Wicked Brothers home.
Waluigi is writing his news year's resolutions. Wario then appears and looks over his shoulder.
Wario (reading) Get poetry book published!? I knew you were into stupid pastimes just like Luigi!
Waluigi: O.K Mr Big Shot. What are your new year's resolutions?
Wario: To go on a diet and eat less. No more obese Wario!
Waluigi: Ha! You made that resolution back in 2007! And what happened on the 3rd of January? I hear you screaming at 3am, "I can't take it anymore! Lettuce and Broccoli sucks!" a huge crash and I go into the kitchen to find you stuffing your face with 6 chicken drumsticks all at once!
Wario: Well it's true. Who likes broccoli? Almost no-one!
Waluigi: Don't make resolutions you can't keep and won't even try to keep.
Wario: I'll give up alcohol.
Waluigi: You did that in 2008. I still have that newspaper with you on the front page.
Waluigi pulls out a newspaper which says on the front page.
ALCOHOL TRUCK HIJACKED BY CRAZED OBESE MAN. And below it says "Truck found in river, contents in back of truck gone and beer cans everywhere.
Wario: On the plus side that was on the 11th of March. I made better effort.
Waluigi: Wario, face it you can't keep resolutions!
Wario (getting angry): Here's a resolution and I'm sure I'll keep it. How about I make sure your ass is kicked good! (Tightens his fists.)
Waluigi: If you do that, how about I show you my other resolution.
Waluigi kicks Wario as hard as he can full in the testicles.
Wario: Gahhhhhhh!! (Falls down)
Waluigi: There's my resolution. You don't push me around! (Gives Wario the finger and leaves the room)
Wario: Ow…….ow……….you know maybe Mario's right that it's stupid to be a bully.
(Sigh……2010, and we still don't have flying cars. Oh anyway…..Happy 2010! And if you're reading this on any other year, happy 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 or whatever year to everybody!)