Cheers to my beta-in-a-pinch, Viola Cornuta. This one's for you, bebe.

This story comes from some of my entries for the Twilight 25 Challenge. You can view them all as my completed series, The Men of Twilight.

Disclaimer: I only own this hilarity.

~~Okay, ladies, gents. We'd like to proudly introduce Pedanticward, affectionately known as Peddie, and Sassbella~~


"Holy crow, Edward, what the fuck is that?" Bella jumped off the bed, almost tripping over a sports bra left in the middle of her floor in her haste to flick on the overhead light.

Not exactly the reaction I'm going for, Bella.

"Um, my cock?" I had just disrobed, laying my clothes neatly on the rocking chair -- my familiar companion -- in the corner of her bedroom. After months of erogenous entreaties, near innocent touches, chaste kisses that did nothing to dampen our passion, I had finally caved to Bella. I was excruciatingly bored with seeing to myself on a nightly basis…fantasies only got me so far, and it was difficult to aptly visualize Bella's body since it was always clothed in lumpy sweaters, misshapen woobie jeans, and a cotton full-coverage bra even when we snuggled down for the night. Much to my frustration, Bella had yet to agree to go shopping with bubbly fashionista Alice.

I was unable to resist any longer when I knew there was a warm, aroused, human Bella begging me to make love to her.

Now I stood, feet planted apart, naked, while Bella's eyes widened, and she circled around me, faintly brushing my cold impenetrable skin with just the tips of her pale tiny fragile trembling hands.

"Well, yeah….but what's with the flappy thing there?" Bella blushed her telltale pink but did not avert her chocolate brown gaze.

Pinching my uncircumcised flesh between my thumb and index finger, I pulled it out, stretching the remaining skin around my erect member so that every ridge was a visible undulation, and the long vein that ran down the central underside of my shaft was a venom-filled road from root to canopy. "Foreskin, my love," I rolled the flat of my palm across my head and then down the side of my dick while I smoothed the tubal skin up over my tip with my other hand. The firmer I became, the less elasticity there was, and my foreskin slowly pulled back. Incredibly, though I was pale as snow all over, my cock was rapidly turning a shade of lavender gray, much more saturated in hue at my tumescent head and the most velvet skin just beneath the lip. Hidden crepe-like flesh that rarely saw the light of day.

Her heart sped as she watched my ministrations, and I could smell her arousal from where I stood. Breathe Bella!

Grasping myself in both hands, twisting them up and down my cock in counterpoint spirals, I continued, "This, Bella, is what we call a Cavalier."

She dropped her well-worn copy of Wuthering Heights to the floor with a clatter and stepped close again, her doe-like orbs filled with wonder, "As opposed to?"

"A Roundhead, of course," I smirked as she whispered, "Of course."

"Haven't you ever seen one before?" I tilted my head to the side and asked, all the while fisting myself more vigorously. If we didn't get this show on the road pretty damn quickly I was going to climax all over her bedroom floor, not even having the pleasure of touching her!

"Jiminy cricket, no! You know Banner skimmed over the sex-ed section of Biology. But you are a bit Hulk-ish," she licked her plush pink lips and grinned, finally fucking touching me; one hand to my torso, sneaking around my nipples and the other splayed across my ass, bringing me against her so my cock twitched against the permeable skin of her belly.

The Incredible Hulk? Great, now she was calling me a freak, how the fuck did she come up with that? I wondered at the weird inner-workings of her head that were a totally silent mind-fuck to me.

"Huh?" I questioned.

"Duh, Edward…Mr. Banner…Bruce Banner…The Incredible Hulk?" She giggled placatingly, and the long auburn swags of her strawberry scented hair tickled my chin and against my throat.

Oh to hell with it, I don't care what she calls me as long as she keeps licking my paps with that rough kitten tongue of hers!

With one hand cupping both her breasts together, I watched in fascination as the pert nipples almost met, almost touched each other. My teeth safely sheathed under my sculpted icy lips, I sucked first one and then the other into the cold igloo of my mouth. And smiled against her tits when she was able to respirate enough to exhale a hot, "Uhnngh," across my chest, which she had wet with her saliva.

Lowering a hand to her midnight blue lace boyshorts, I felt the dripping of moisture there. She was pooling in her panties! I was emboldened enough to swipe my fingers beneath the elastic to fondle her wet folds before running up to circle her bundle of nerves.

On an indrawn breath, Bella weakly murmured, "Mmmm. I just mean that you're big. Seriously well-endowed, right? And it's kind of wild that your-" she flapped those frail hands about, and I wanted to demand that she put them back to their rightful task.

"Penis?" I supplied, helpfully of course.

"That your penis is malleable when the rest of your body is pretty much…"


Nodding her head and biting her lower lip, "Obdurate, right."

"Baby Bella, my love, it has us all stumped, even Carlisle," I lifted one eyebrow and bestowed my famous crooked half-smile upon her.

"Well, it's certainly not stumpy! You'd have made a fine specimen in the sex-ed class, not that I'd want Lauren and Jessica drooling over this! I just can't wrap my head around the extra skin! Does it hurt? Can I move it?" Christ! Yes, Bella, yes! Touch it, do what you want with my cock, just fucking touch it already!

She fingered it gently, and there was something, definitely something, I wanted Bella to wrap her mouth around.

Keenly watching her teeny fists engulfing my member, pulling the almost completely taut wrapping up as far as it would now reach, which wasn't very high at all anymore, Bella fucking giggled like she was simply watching some harebrained chick flick at a slumber party instead of giving me my first ever handjob!

Gently tearing her fingers away from their grip on me, I started pacing, damn near stomping…fraught with sexual excitement and galled at her laughter. Rolling my eyes, grasping at my messy bronze locks, pinching the bridge of my nose, clenching my jaw, I wearily sighed.

"Aw, Edward, don't be like that! It's just…who knew? Vampires can be uncircumcised?"

"Given the times, my love, yes, of course we can. In fact, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle…we all are-"

Frantically blushing, Bella shook her head, "Ewww, just gross. I don't need to know about that!"

"Can we please just stop talking about my Cavalier then, love?" I was bobbing in the air, desperate for her touch, and I knew she wanted me too. I could smell her arousal as she rubbed her creamy thighs together, trying to create some sort of friction to relieve herself.

"Come here, Edward," Bella's eyes darkened from milky cocoa to dark passionate cocoa.

Not even a second elapsed before I was pressed up against Bella. I held her to me as her heavily bruised knees threatened to give out, skimmed my nose along her throbbing carotid artery, swung it along her little pointed jaw, and made a beeline for the succulent feast of flesh just below and slightly behind her left ear, silently entreating her to keep breathing.

Something growled. And it wasn't me. Probably Bella's mortal tummy begging for food when all I wanted was for her to beg me to eat her out after I carried her, bridal style, to the bed.

Ever the gentleman, I sought to appease her gurgling stomach before my own insatiable craving, "I could make you something to eat, if you're hungry. Mushroom ravioli? Or I could just jump in Volvo and pick something up? Perhaps some shroom brownies to move this thing on a bit faster?

"Um, that wasn't my stomach, Edward, that was me." She blushed crimson red and would have stumbled over her feet to land face first at my crotch had I not been bracing her up against the marble column of my form. Dammit!

Shit! She growled at me? That is so hot.

"I want you in me now," Bella pronounced, her inner wanton woman unleashed.

Shredding her panties, I sniffed them headily before I hid them amongst my stack of designer clothes…mine.

Laying Bella on her creaking single bed, thankful Shotgun Charlie was working the night shift, I crawled up her body, lethal and predatory. I caressed her pussy with my long piano player's fingers, circled inside and found that hidden pleasure point, pressed on it until she was spilling, good and wet and greedy.

The fruity scent of ripe strawberries followed on waves as she bashed her head from side to side and thrashed her pelvis around my delighting hand.

My cock clasped in one hand as I spread her thighs with my other, I steadied myself and huskily whispered, "Love, just tell me if this hurts. I Do Not Want To Cause You Pain."

"It's okay. I'm ready. You won't hurt me," Bella encouraged me with her words and her hips that swiveled up.

Howling as I entered her heated swollen embrace, I made my way further, inch by long long inch.

With my lips to her ear, I quietly impelled her to breathe and watched as a wall of pain flashed across her face, making me halt just at the beginning of her maidenhead.

While she grew used to my girth, I held still as death above her, my forearms on either side of her head. Once her heart settled into a steadier pace and her face relaxed, I shifted forward again, breeching her virginity with one fell swoop!

Hissing, I knew the full onslaught of love and sex commingling! A juicy torrid purchase held me strictured, and I all but bellowed, "You're so tight, baby!"

"Umph, Edward, your shaft is so big, so good, baby," her voice and those utterances nearly sent me over the edge.

Small red droplets of her blood stained the sheets like Rorschach blots. The scent of her sex and her spilled blood made me move with more frenzy, and I gripped her hips and plunged in and out.

Clair de Lune tinkled in the background.

Tolling just the plumpened head of my member into her damp folds, pulling it out so that she could feel my skin ruching against hers, just at her engorged entrance, I asked, "How're you liking my foreskin now?"

"Unghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Bella shouted as she draped her slim calves over my hips and dug her heels into my backside, propelling me back into her with more power than I should have used!

'S'what I thought.

Racing towards the finish line, I needed Bella to climax with me.

Holding onto the headboard above her face that was emblazoned with the call of desire, I demanded, "Cum with me! Cum NOW, Bella!" as I traced ever-cinching circles over her clit to help her along.

I came in three long spurts as her walls clamped down on me, milking my twitching cock, screaming savage incoherencies! Biting the pillow so a full-on flurry of feathers drifted about us as our bodies lashed and latched onto each other, I shattered the cringing iron headboard into splinters and metallic dust!

When her pounding heart sank into mere traipsing pitter pats, Bella licked my throat and kissed my Adam's apple and shuddered twice more against me, "So good, Edward."

Looking at her through a veil of long lashes, my eyes strobing back from black to melting amber, I deadpanned, "Do you think you can deepthroat, Bella?"

~Did you enjoy your introduction to CK101? Come early next time, you'll want to be in the front row of the lecture theater~

There's still oodles of time to vote for your faves in the Twilight Twenty-five Challenge, all links on my profile.

PS. Go and read Dead Confederates.