A/N: Just a one-shot that came into my brain. Idea here is that Sanji goes back to the Baratie when he hears that Zeff may be dying and what they are ACTUALLY saying to each other.
A single blue eye glanced around the familiar dining room through yellow tinted sunglasses. It was just like he remembered it and yet…not. Though it was still hectic it was a bit more somber and subdued than when he was last there. He smiled a bit around his cigarette. It had also been half destroyed last time he was there, but that wasn't his fault.
"S…sanji?" A familiar voice sounded bewildered. "Sanji! It is you!"
The blonde pirate chef smirked a bit. "Pati, you still here?" Suddenly, the thinner man was wrapped in a bone-crushing hug. "Gah! PATI!" The muscular chef didn't seem to hear the protest or the popping bones so Sanji flung his leg around and kicked the big lug in the side.
Pati instantly dropped Sanji and fell to the ground. "Ow….I forgot what that felt like…" He whimpered with his arms wrapped around his middle and eyes streaming with tears.
Sanji rolled his only visible blue eye. "Where's the crap geezer?"
Pati's face instantly grew sober again and pointed up the staff stairway with his thumb. "His room." Sanji nodded a bit and took a particularly long inhale from his cigarette before starting towards the stairs. "Sanji." The blonde paused and tilted his head a bit to show he was listening. "It's good you came."
"Tch, yeah yeah." Sanji muttered before flicking his cigarette butt into the fireplace and heading up the stairs. Zeff's bedroom was the last on the left in a long line of small yet adequate rooms that the chefs stayed in. The same room that Luffy had crashed through the ceiling of. Sanji smiled a bit at that. His idiot captain always had to make a clumsy entrance…
Sanji didn't bother to knock; instead he just opened the door and said. "What the hell, crap geezer? Can't even run your own restaurant now?"
Which roughly translated to: Hi, Zeff, long time no see.
"Sanji…" Zeff's eyes grew a bit big before they quickly narrowed again in mock anger. "What are you crawling back here for, stupid kid?"
Why are you here?
Sanji scoffed. "I heard you were finally gonna kick the bucket. 'Bout time, old man. I thought you'd never die."
I came as soon as I heard.
Zeff glared a bit. "I aint dead yet. Aren't you supposed to be gallivanting around being a no-good pirate or something?"
Don't worry about me. I'm fine. How are you, Sanji?
"Tch, don't change the subject." Sanji growled as he lit another cigarette and sat down on a nearby chair. "Besides, I'm a way better pirate than you ever were."
I'm fine, if you must know.
Zeff huffed a bit before taking a drink of something on his bedside table. "I saw that stupid bounty of yours. Such a disgrace. You've ruined our reputation you stupid brat."
We've got your poster hanging in the kitchen.
Sanji's eye narrowed dangerously. "Oh please! This place has gone down hill since I left! I bet you can't even make a decent broth anymore!"
Yeah? Doesn't that hurt business?
"Our restaurant's doing five times better than when you were here! No more fights or idiot flirting!"
Nah, it's helped.
"Why you no good geezer! Admit you can't do shit now that I'm gone!" Sanji said jumping to his feet from where he had settled.
I've kinda missed this place.
"Ha!" Zeff laughed. "I've sure cut down on headache medicine since you got lost, stupid kid!"
We've missed you too, Sanji.
Sanji growled lowly and whipped around. "Tch, yeah, you're fine, you crap geezer." He muttered. "Haven't changed a bit."
I'm glad I got here in time…
"You haven't changed either, stupid kid."
"Stop calling me a kid!!" Sanji roared angrily.
I'm not a kid anymore, Zeff.
"Bah, that's what you are." Zeff replied folding his arms over his chest.
You'll always be a kid to me, Sanji.
Sanji scoffed. "Stupid geezer." He muttered before taking a drag.
"Get outta here, Sanji. Before I kick your ass outta here myself." Zeff ordered pointing to his door.
I don't want you to waste your time watching me die.
"I'll leave when I'm damn good and ready!" Sanji snapped.
And I want to stay.
Zeff glared a bit. "Stupid brat. Can't you ever do what you're told?"
"I do what I want, crap geezer. You're not the boss of me." Sanji replied before resettling in his chair.
Because I do.
"Stupid kid, I never should have bothered saving you." Zeff muttered angrily.
Thank you, Sanji…
Sanji cast the elderly man a long glare. "I already paid you back for that, geezer."
There's no reason to thank me, Zeff.
"Yeah, and nearly destroyed my restaurant." Zeff muttered.
…I'm proud of you, Sanji.
Sanji looked off to the side with a slight scoff. "I didn't destroy shit. It was all those other idiots." The two of them lapsed into a companionable silence. Slowly, Sanji started to smile as Zeff broke into a loud laughter.