My try at fluffy corny romance! Read and Review!
Disclaimer: Twilight and most of the quotes here belong to Stephenie Meyer.
Bella, Alice, and Jasper were in the living room of the Cullen house. Carlisle and Esme were taking a vacation for some much needed alone time. Rosalie and Emmett were on babysitting duty for Renesmee at Bella and Edward's cottage, finally giving Bella time to breathe. She looked so exhausted slumped on the pillows of the couch that she could have been asleep. Jasper was on the opposite side of the couch, lost in his newest book and completely oblivious to the world around him. Alice was on the floor next to him, sketching hew newest creation, which she would quickly erase whenever anyone would take a peek.
Edward came in through the window, his eyes a deep liquid gold having just fed. He smiled when his eyes fell upon his seemingly unconscious wife. He walked toward Bella and managed a glimpse of Alice's sketch. It was of him peeking at her drawing. Edward chuckled while Alice glared at him. He squeezed next to Bella on the couch so she was lying on his shoulder.
"How long has it been since I've told you how beautiful you look?" he brushed her messy hair out of her face and kissed her head.
Bella did a poor job of hiding her smile with a sleepy murmur. "My hair's a mess."
"You'd be striking even if you had food all over your hair."
"Really?" Bella asked shyly. She could have been blushing.
"Of course, you're my reason for living."
Bella giggled as he kissed her lips.
"Oh please...," Alice muttered.
"Excuse me?" Bella asked.
Alice gave a heartbreakingly sweet smile. "Nothing!"
Bella continued to stare at her suspiciously as Edward absentmindedly stroked her hair. He quirked an eyebrow as he picked up on her thoughts. "You think we're corny?"
Bella's eyes widened. "What?!"
There was no point in hiding what was already in her thoughts. "Well, yeah... you kind of are."
Bella mouthed wordlessly while Edward simply stared with an amused expression. "No! We are not!"
"Oh, c'mon Bella. It's not necessarily a bad thing... It's a corny thing."
"Alright. Except for one thing- we are not corny!"
Alice pretended to consider, tapping the tip of her pencil on her cheek. "Hmm... Yes. You most definitely are."
Bella's face looked livid. She still had the exact same expressions she had when she was human. The only difference was her inability to blush. "Well if you know what corny things me and Edward say to each other, then-then... that makes you nosy!"
Alice put on an expression of mock seriousness that made Edward laugh. "Dear sister, I was merely looking into your future to make sure that you both survive to live another day. I am not nosy, no. That just makes me noble." She gave another sweet smile and wagged her feet in the air.
Bella hissed slightly. "Whatever, we aren't corny!"
She buried her head in Edward's neck, finished with the conversation.
"...Yes you are," Alice muttered.
Bella growled. "Jasper, tell her please. Are me and Edward corny?"
Jasper remained absorbed in his book.
"Jasper? ... JASPER!"
Edward chucked a pillow straight toward his head. It bounced off and collided with the wall. Jasper merely looked up as if someone had politely called his name. "What?"
Bella rolled her eyes. "Please tell your wife that we are not corny!"
Jasper looked from Alice to his siblings on the couch at a loss for words. "No... you aren't corny."
His eyes returned to his book. Bella's squeaky voice, which was steadily growing in pitch, finally broke the silence.
"You think we're corny!"
Jasper looked up, relieved that he didn't have to lie any longer. "I'm sorry, Bella. Look, we all have our own ways of showing our love. You and Edward just... choose the cheesier route."
Edward couldn't help but snicker. "Oh, now we're cheesy?"
"Cheesy and corny, you're both delicious!" Alice piped. She shrunk at the glare Bella gave.
"Okay then, if we're cheesy, then you guys are too!"
Jasper laughed. "Bella, you haven't exactly seen me and Alice have a... couple moment."
"Well that's worse, then! You're- you're... you're cheesily quiet! You do the whole melt-into-each-others-gaze thingy. Ugh."
"Maybe, but you and Edward are still worse," Alice chimed, chipper as ever.
"How are we worse!?"
Alice and dropped her pencil and looked up at Jasper, while Jasper smirked at his wife. He knelt down on the ground next to her and she sat up to meet his height. They took each others' hands and stared so lovingly into each others' eyes, Edward gagged.
"Oh Alice, you are my life."
"Jasper, your presence intoxicates me!"
"You are like my own brand of heroin!"
Bella gasped. Edward laughed and slapped a hand to his thigh, causing a dull thud of marble on marble.
"Jasper, how you dazzle me!"
"You own my heart Alice. Keep it safe."
"I dream of being with you forever!"
"If I could dream at all, I would dream about you!"
Bella shot daggers at them with her arms wrapped around her chest. They could practically hear the violins playing.
"Do you have any concept of how much I love you, Jasper?"
"You give me a reason to live just by breathing!"
"You must be a broom! Because you've swept me off my feet!"
Bella's gasp was a tiny squeak. "I never said-"
"Alice, your eyes are as blue as the ocean! And I'm lost at sea!"
Their arms wrapped around each other and their lips met in a painfully nauseating kiss. The violin music came to a dramatic crescendo that seemed to erupt in hearts and roses. Bella glared at them bitterly while Edward applauded, lost in hysterics. "I have to say... that was absolutely incredible!"
Alice melted into Jasper's embrace as they both gave Bella puppy-eyed pouts.
"... Okay... Maybe we are a little corny."
"A lot. Maybe we are really corny. We are corny and we are cheesy," Bella's expression resembled that of an attention-greedy child who was being ignored.
Edward pulled her closer to him and brushed her hair out of her face. "That doesn't mean we're not sweet as well."
"Aww...," Jasper cooed.
Bella couldn't help but smile as Edward kissed her head. "C'mon, I'm getting a little paranoid leaving Renesmee with Rose and Emmett. Especially after all the romance that just happened here."
Alice giggled and Bella smiled shyly at them. She took Edward's hand as they both left leapt through the window. Alice leaned into Jasper's embrace for a few seconds before kissing him on the cheek and returning to her drawing. Jasper bit his lip as he sat next to her. She held her smile in as she felt the noticeable change in his mood. He bent down toward her until his lips brushed against her ear.
"There must be something wrong with my eyes, coz I can't take them off of you," he whispered, his accent thick and husky.
Alice closed her eyes and moaned slightly. Her newest sketch was one of him on top of her, their bodies entwined and his face mere inches from hers.
Jasper began moving his lips up and down her neck. "You must have descended from aliens because baby, ain't nothin' on the planet Earth like you."
Alice bit her lip and trembled, stubbornly trying to resist.
"I think I broke a few bones falling... for you."
His hands traveled down to her waist, rubbing circles into her skin.
"You must be tired, coz you've been running through my mind all day..."
Alice finally grabbed him by his collar and flipped him over until she was on top, conveniently unbuttoning his shirt. Her arms viciously clamped his down on the ground. She bent down and whispered into his ear.
"You had me at hello."
Author's Note: This is all just in good fun! And yeah, I know… I am constantly making stories with corny jokes. I just couldn't resist poking fun at Edward and Bella. Peace to all Bedward fans! (Lol, Bedward. I have no idea.)
Also I know the quotes Alice and Jasper said aren't exactly the ones that Bella and Edward say to each other, I just thought it would be too disturbing if Alice knew exactly what they said.