AN: I know it might not seem like it at the beginning of this chapter, but this is definitely a Bella/Jasper story. Bear with me. :)
Chapter 1: Requited
I felt like I had fire burning its way through my veins. My body flushed red, heat seeming to burst through my pores. I threw my head back, crying out.
He looked at me as I called his name, his gaze intense. I didn't want to look away from him, but I couldn't help it as my eyes rolled back and I moaned, completely overwhelmed by this foreign feeling. I stiffened as the feeling took over, every part of my body clenched until there was a burst of relief, and it was over.
"Oh. My. God." I said, lifting my head and looking at the love of my life.
Edward smirked that crooked grin of his, looking pretty pleased with himself. He placed a kiss on my thigh – rewarding him with a shiver on my part – before climbing back up the bed to lie next to me.
"Edward, that was..." I trailed off, unable to find the words to describe the way he just made me feel. "That was..."
Still no words.
"I'm glad you feel good, Bella," he said, kissing my temple. I let out a happy sigh. I felt a little sleepy for some reason. Was that normal?
Edward chuckled and kissed my nose.
"You look like you're about to fall asleep, love," he said. "But you should probably get cleaned up first."
Oh. Right. I did feel a little... wet down there.
"I've got to get going. It's almost eleven and Charlie will be knocking on the door to kick me out soon," Edward said as he sat up. I sat up with him.
"Edward," I said, staring into his eyes and running my fingertips across his cheek, "I love you so much."
"I love you too." He kissed me on the forehead, and then placed one chaste kiss on my lips before getting up and crossing the room, giving me a small wave before he walked out the door.
I got myself cleaned up and crawled back into bed to think about my perfect boyfriend. Edward and I had been dating for the most wonderful four months of my existence, but I'd loved him much longer than that. I practically lived in Edward's house growing up, his little sister Alice being my best friend. I always had a thing for Edward, but it wasn't until he went through a bad breakup a little over six months ago that he even noticed me in that way. Just as they were set to go off to college together, his long-time girlfriend Tanya decided to end their relationship.
I was lying on Alice's bed, my calculus homework laid out in front of me. Alice was in the backyard with her boyfriend Embry. I could hear Alice's girlish shriek followed by a splash as Embry pulled her into the pool. I was trying not to think about what Edward and Tanya might be doing behind the closed door of his room, right across the hall from me. I didn't have to think about it for very long, because Tanya left Edward's room and hurried down the stairs. I barely heard the front door shut behind her when a loud crash came from Edward's room.
I jumped up off the bed and ran across the hall. Edward's back was to me, and his desk was overturned, its contents scattered on the floor. He turned around toward me, and his face crumpled in pain. I hugged him and let him cry. He told me that Tanya said she didn't want to be tied down as she started college. She was finally getting out of Forks and there was so much out there for her to experience, she said, and she needed to be free to do it. Edward really talked to me that day, and it was the first time he saw me as something other than his little sister's best friend. I became his confidant, someone he could talk to. We spent hours and hours talking over the next couple of months. Edward decided to put college on hold, and though I didn't like seeing him so lost, I was happy he was around. We grew closer and closer, and then one day as we were talking, and he leaned in and kissed me. I was thrilled. It was what I always wanted.
School the next day was long and insufferable. All I really wanted was to see Edward. He was coming over to my house when I got home from school, and we had a few hours alone together before Charlie came home. I was hoping we could do some more... experimenting. Well, experimenting for me. Edward wasn't a virgin, but I was. The orgasm I experienced the night before was my first.
"Jeez Bella, stop fidgeting," Alice whispered in Spanish class. "You're making me nervous!"
"What's got you all jittery?"
"I'm just excited to see Edward after school," I said.
"Yeah, so what makes this different than any other day," Alice asked, rolling her eyes. I felt myself blush, and Alice looked at me wide-eyed. "No! Did you guys..."
"Shhh! Alice!" I glanced around to make sure no one was listening to us. "No, not... well..."
I could have died of embarrassment. Alice had been my best friend since kindergarten, but there were some things I didn't even want to talk to her about, especially since it involved her brother. Alice was a little too open about some things, I thought.
"Fine," Alice said with a smirk when she realized I wasn't going to answer her, "I'll just ask Edward."
My jaw dropped and I shook my head in shock. She wouldn't dare!
"I'm kidding! I don't really want to know anyway. I mean, he's my brother," she said with a shutter.
When class was over I hurried to my truck, happy to finally be going home. Edward's Volvo was in my driveway when I pulled in, and then I saw him standing in the yard.
"Hi," I said with a smile as I walked over to him. I tilted my face up for a kiss.
"Hi," he said, placing a small kiss on my forehead. I frowned, wondering why he didn't kiss me on the lips like usual. "Bella, take a walk with me."
"Ok," I said, confused. I followed him to the trail in the woods. We walked for a bit, and then Edward stopped and turned back toward me.
"Bella..." he started, and I suddenly knew what he was going to say. The look on his face told me everything.
"No, Edward," I said, cutting him off. I shook my head. "Why? Edward, please don't break up with me." I was frantic. My breathing was uneven, and I thought I might start to hyperventilate.
"Bella, you're wonderful. Everything I could ask for in a girlfriend."
"Then what's the problem? There's no problem!"
"There is, Bella. I... I'm in love with someone else." He ran a hand through his copper colored hair.
"Tanya," I said quietly, looking down at the ground.
"Yeah," Edward said quietly. "I thought I was over her, I really did. But then she called today, and... she wants to get back together."
"You told me you loved me," I said, my voice quavering.
"I do, Bella, just..."
"Not enough. You love her more."
Edward nodded. He reached up and brushed my tears away with his thumbs.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I really am." He kissed me again on the forehead, and then he turned and walked back the way we came.
I felt like my world was crashing down. The forest seemed to spin around me, and I sat down on the ground, moisture seeping up through the bed of leaves and into my jeans. I didn't care. I felt like I was going to throw up or pass out, or maybe both. I put my head between my knees and closed my eyes, willing the world to stop spinning. Edward was gone. The love of my life, my everything. He didn't want me anymore. I'd loved him for so long. It wasn't so bad before, when I didn't know what it was like to have him, but now...
The sobbing started, big gulping sobs, and I couldn't get ahold of myself. I didn't want to.
And then I threw up.
When I finally made my way out of the forest and to my house, I was cold and clammy and my head was aching, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. I crawled into bed with my clothes on, shivering under the blankets with the chill and dampness of the forest still clinging to me. The phone started ringing, but I could hardly hear it – as if I were under water. I ignored it. It kept ringing, and I kept ignoring it. Finally, I fell asleep.
I woke up to the dipping of my mattress, and soft fingers stroking my hair.
"Bella," Alice said softly.
I stared straight ahead, unable to look at her.
"Honey, you're burning up," she said, laying a hand on my forehead. She pulled back the blankets and saw my wet clothes. "Come on, get into some pajamas while I change your sheets."
I did as she said, but I barely knew what I was doing. I felt detached from my body, Alice's voice sounding very far away. After I changed, she handed me some Tylenol and a glass of water. I hadn't even noticed that she had left the room.
"Sweetie, it's going to be okay," she said as I climbed back into bed.
My tears began to pool, and I didn't know how I even had any left. I tried to take a long breath in, but it became a sob.
"Shhh, Baby, shhh," Alice said, lying down behind me and wrapping me in her arms. "It's going to be okay."