You want to play, Sonny-Jim? You want to roll the dice and take your chances? Adventure, excitement, oh yes, these things run thick as blood in my world. The unexpected is the expected, the impossible is everyday, and the rare is common. No moment is dull in this jungle paradise where the wild things roam. Flowers that are larger than your head, yes. And beasties with teeth longer than your hand.
And that's not all. Come to my world and I'll show you. Day is stifling, the heat presses you into foliage like the shadow you are, while mosquitos roam the jungle, looking for soft flesh to impale. And if you dare to hope that night may serve as a respite, your disappointment and despair will be great indeed. For in the dark the wilds come to life. The very air seems to writhe with poisonous barbs, stingers, and teeth. Can you withstand the screams with no source? The roars of rage from deep within the underbrush?
The jungle is a funny thing. It absorbs the whisper of your steps through the rotted turf and yet funnels the roar of a tiger, making you wonder if he is just behind you or leagues away. I have learned the magics of this world, but you… You are just a child, unwise in the ways of the world. All the world is a game to your youthful mind and this is nothing more than a fairytale.
But here the teeth and claws and thorns are real. And just when you think you've learned how to evade the tiger, defeat the creeping vine, I'll be there. Oh yes, Sonny-Jim. Just when you've outsmarted the flora and fauna of this jungle, I'll come hunting for you and your head will join the trophies on the wall of my lodge. And maybe, if you're lucky, I will let you see the folly of your youthful idealism before the end comes.
For I am the real terror of the jungle. I have no claws or poisons to take you unawares, but I have something that even you lack. I have skill, I have experience, yes, and I have control. You see, this game is sentient, just like you and me. It has an agenda. And I alone understand the beating heart of this place. The roll of the dice is no more random than the passing of the hours. And I can mold it to fit my whims and desires.
Five and eight will evade the dice as long as I deem to keep you in my paradise. If you are lacking in judgment and sense, your death may be quick, with little chance to redeem yourself from your foolish decision to play. Ah, but if you're clever, perhaps I give you a chance. If you can evade the beasties and my continuous hunt, the numbers may fall in your favor.
And that is the sweetest trick of all. For just when you think you have escaped the hell of my jungle, the jungle will come to you. Every roll, every move, your world begins to become more like mine. In your refuge the vines will invade. The monkey will destroy your order and the tiger will stalk you openly, daring you to decide whether this world or the jungle is more terrifying. What will you choose, I wonder?
The terror will continue until you finish the game. You cannot quit. But every roll of the dice brings more horror, more danger. Before the end your eyes and mine will meet. And one way or the other, it will end. Death or life, it makes little difference to the game. The pieces will reset themselves and the jungle will prepare itself for the next child foolish enough to play. There is one way out this nightmare, but even if you're lucky enough to make it to the end, will you remember the word? As triumph is upon you, will you be strong enough to mutter those three syllables while I sight down the barrel of my rifle? Or will you freeze while your throat constricts and silently await your end? You would not be the first to have victory within grasp and to fail to end the madness. You see, only the worthy escape my grasp and only the brave whisper the word to end it all… Jumanji.