Title: Chasing the Rain (1/1)
Genre: Romance, angst, drama
Summary: The Doctor comes back for Rose, but is she ready to forgive him?
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Thanks: to nonlinearmusing for the beta.
A/N: This was written for the Support Stacie Author Auction. Debs7 won me this time, and this is her winning fic. Her prompts were Ten/Rose or 10.2/Rose, and angst.
I used the lyrics from a Tom McRae song:
a href=".net/shared/d9c66lazf8"Deliver Me/a.
Feel free to grab it and have a listen. Tom McRae is made of awesome.
So, Mr. Heartbreak you're back. Is the dream showing cracks? Come back older, come back changed, but still chasing the rain.
Rose turned her back on the man standing in her room, waiting. Waiting for her answer. Waiting for her to open her mouth and say yes. To take his hand and flee the oppressive mansion that she now called home. He had every reason to think she'd do just that and she had to fight her legs, which were tensed to run.
To him or away, she wasn't sure just yet.
"Why do you keep coming back?" she whispered, feeling her chest tighten and her eyes burn. He always came back. She should've realized that.
Footsteps sounded behind her and a pair of hands settled on her bare shoulders. "Found myself in the neighborhood." His words were light, but his voice was tense and controlled.
She snorted, fisting her hands in her gown and moving out from under the cool touch of his hands. "Just in the universe? Thought you'd ask if I could come out and play?" The skin he'd touched burned white-hot for a moment before going cold with the rest of her. Her eyes lifted from her own reflection to his.
He was watching her steadily, eyes dark in the low light of the room, flickering with something unreadable.
Ducking his head, he slipped his hands into his trouser pockets and stepped forward again, closer to her. The movement was casual and vulnerable, but she knew his intentions were not. His body came to rest against hers, brushing, but not quite touching her skin. "I missed you." Eyes meeting hers in the mirror again, he raised a hand and brushed her hair forward, over her shoulder, baring her back to his lips.
The warm, wet feel of them on her shoulder made her shiver with remembrance.
So many nights and days on planets and in the TARDIS. In a lake, down an alleyway, on top of a skyscraper, and in the middle of space; they'd made love in every place imaginable, but he'd still left her behind. Left her to play society girl for the gutter press. Left her to be the daughter her mum wanted her to be.
Left her to chase that indefinable thing that would give his life meaning.
Fingers teasing her skin, he pressed his lips to her neck. His hair tickled her cheek as his hand wrapped around her waist, drawing her back against him. "I need you, Rose." Breath ghosting over the sensitive skin behind her ear, he settled his lips so close that she felt them brush her ear as he spoke, felt the vibrations throughout her body. "You're the only thing that makes sense anymore. I tried to-- I couldn't... Rose." He grabbed her shoulders suddenly and spun her around, bending her over his arm a bit, hovering his mouth over hers for a brief moment. "My skin aches without you."
Shoving at his arm, turning her head away from the desperation in his gaze, she pushed him away. "You left me. Again!" Steadying herself against the wall beside the oval and oak mirror, she glared at him, chest rising and falling despite her will to remain calm. "It's been two years, Doctor. Last time it was six." Shaking her head, she grabbed the fluffy blue skirts of her gown and swept past him. "I'm not doing this again. I have a life. Here."
His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, halting her. "A life of-- of what? Balls and parties and lunches with the rich and obnoxious?" Fingers clenching tighter around her wrist when she struggled to free herself, he drew her closer, eyes fixing on hers. "That's not what you want. I know it isn't."
Yanking her arm free, she took a step back, and then another. "That isn't all I do. There's Torchwood and--"
"I've been watching you."
Startled, her eyes flew to his as she fought her anger at him doing this to her again. Always leaving. Always coming back, expecting her to drop everything to run to his side. "What?"
"Been here a few days now, Rose." Stalking toward her, he backed her against the wall, hands rising to either side of her head, boxing her in. "I've seen you at these balls." Moving closer, he pressed his chest to hers, lips brushing over her cheek. "You stand on the fringes, talking to no one."
"I don't--" she attempted to deny, but he cut her off.
"You never smile." The fingers of his left hand slid into her hair, threading through the strands, disturbing the bun Laura had put it in earlier before he'd showed up in her room, TARDIS breathing the sounds of the universe.
She tried not to shudder under his touch, but she was trained to the feel of him. So used to it that she could recall the feel of him, the smell of him, and the way his eyes looked while they made love. Her nipples tightened and her stomach fluttered. Moisture flooded her folds and they began to throb.
All because of a look and a touch. All because of the Doctor. He'd returned to seduce her into joining him again.
Closing her eyes, she let out a breath. Memories of the last time they'd made love flooded into her mind, and she knew he was enhancing them telepathically. "I'm not leaving with you again." She settled against the wall as her knees went weak. "I can't."
Lips sliding against her temple, he threaded his other hand into her hair, loosening the strands. His warm breath gusted against hers as he settled more firmly against her.
He was hard.
"I've seen you running around with Torchwood, Rose. Saving the world." His palm caressed her cheek as his lips lowered to touch hers. "It's the only time I've seen you look truly alive."
He was right.
As his lips pressed hungrily to hers, she relaxed against him. This life wasn't for her. She hated the parties and the dinners and the snobby rich girls who thought they were better than her. She hated the gutter press following her around to catch her latest slip up, or snap photos of her doing something the rich weren't supposed to do.
She hated it all.
But being with Torchwood, something the paparazzi hadn't found out about yet, was exciting. Fighting and talking with aliens while running for her life? That was living.
This was simply existing in a fog.
But that didn't mean she'd drop everything for him again. Not this time. Her heart couldn't take it anymore. Tearing her mouth from his, she rested her forehead on his shoulder, hand pressing to his chest, feeling the rise and fall that matched her own. "I can't do this again--"
Instead of stopping him, it seemed to energize him. He grabbed her face in his palms and raised her head so he could look into her eyes. "My chest is empty. My single heart is lonely, but you keep it company and the only thing that makes it feel better is you." He kissed her forehead softly. "Being with you, it's... all I need. I know that now."
Pretty words from a man who knew how to manipulate. She knew he probably meant them, but she also knew that he'd end up leaving her behind again. It was what he did.
He shook his head, wrapping his arms around her, resting his chin on her head. "I miss seeing you in the TARDIS, reading a magazine, biting your thumbnail." He chuckled breathlessly, fingers caressing her waist through the material of her gown. "I miss hearing the small noise you sometimes make in the back of your throat when you laugh." He swallowed thickly. "I get so hard just hearing your voice, Rose. Seeing you smile, smelling your scent? You don't know what you do to me."
Pulling away from him, she tried her best to free herself, but he only held her tighter. "It's not fair," she told him. "You keep doing this and it's not fair."
Sighing heavily, he relaxed into her. "You make me feel whole again. Make me feel like the man I used to be." Pulling away, he stared into her eyes, brushing strands of hair away from her cheeks. "I want to be the man you fell in love with, Rose. I want that again. I want to be him."
"You're doing a bloody good job," she snapped, jerking out of his grasp and striding away. The mirror reflected him back at her as she neared it, her body and the flouncy blue material encompassing the surface of the mirror, taking over and displacing the Doctor. "You've certainly picked up on his bad habits." Spinning around, wanting to get away from the hurt on his face and the material suddenly choking the breath from her, she reached behind her, desperately pulling at the tiny buttons lining the back of her gown. "Leaving people behind is what he did. It's what you do now too."
"I'd say you became him rather nicely." Unable to free herself from the gown, she dropped her arms to her sides with a frustrated sigh. Laura had stitched her into the gown a bit too well. "You don't want me," she said nastily, glowering at him. "You want him."
He smiled faintly, the corners of his lips turning down again almost immediately. "I want you," he insisted, crossing to her. He settled his hands on her waist and spun her around gently, fingers moving to the buttons at her back. She shivered as his knuckles brushed her skin. "I want you. Only you. I've been gone a long time."
Seeing him duck his head again in the mirror, she frowned, feeling the buttons loosen near her shoulder blades. Breathing a small sigh of relief, she swallowed back the questions on her lips.
Working silently, he freed the row of tiny buttons, allowing her to breathe easier.
"How long?" she finally asked. It shouldn't matter. He was here, doing it again, manipulating her into doing what he wanted. Using her feelings for him to engender sympathy. She knew it, but it didn't matter, not when his hands slid inside her open gown, stroking her back with gentle caresses.
Another heavy sigh escaped him and he leant his chin on her shoulder, watching her in the mirror. "Thirty years. Give or take a few here and there."
The news didn't surprise her, but it made her heart ache for him. Soul-searching for a Time Lord probably wasn't unusual, but add to that the fact that he was newly--no, not newly any longer--human, and there was a recipe for loneliness. "Not alone, I hope."
"No." Straightening up, he slid his arms around her waist under the dress, fingers teasing the soft skin over her ribs. "I traveled with a lot of people, aliens and humans alike. Didn't much care for most of them... got a bit of an impatient streak in me because of Donna. But I didn't travel alone for the most part."
"I'm glad," she murmured, turning her head to the side, lips brushing against his cheek as she spoke. Her hand rose of its own volition and settled on his other cheek, holding his face close to hers. "You shouldn't be alone."
"But I was." His arms tightened around her, breath warming her neck just before his lips pressed softly to her skin. "Didn't have a lover-- I tried. Tried to forget you. I wanted to stop being him, but I-- I couldn't do it. Couldn't stop loving you."
Her heart fluttered to life again, pounding beneath her chest. "I've tried too."
His arms slid free of her waist and she felt him moving behind her, saw him removing his suit coat. Rolling his shirtsleeves up, he settled back against her. "There's been no one since you." He chuckled darkly, eyes finding hers before sliding away again. "There is no one but you."
Tears burnt her eyes and she blinked them away. It was getting harder and harder to turn him down, especially when he was like this, but she couldn't let him do this again. "Please go."
Shaking his head, he knelt behind her. His hands pushed the material of her gown away from her legs, raising it to her waist. "I can't be without you anymore. I can't leave you behind." His palm slid down the inside of her thigh, making her shiver and gasp. "I need you with me forever."
"But it won't be forever," she retorted, shivering under the feel of his warm palms sliding under her knickers. "It's not ever forever with you. It's just right now and maybe a little after."
He shook his head, hair brushing against her thighs, lips pressing to the back of one. Fingers slipping her knickers down, he helped her step out of them. "Not this time, Rose. Being without you is killing me." Standing up behind her, shoving the material of her dress up, he settled behind her, bending her forward over the dresser beside the mirror. "It's not just my body that aches for you; it's my mind and my heart. You're there in my thoughts constantly, burning your name into my heart. It beats so slowly without its twin." He leant over her, pressing his erection against her arse. Voice whispering, he rocked into her, making her whimper with need. "I need you."
The noise of his zipper lowering sounded throughout the room, echoing in the sudden quiet, punctuated by the rustling of cloth.
She knew he meant well, and she wanted to believe him--did believe him--but her heart wasn't as ready as his was to take that final leap. Her body and mind were, but her heart didn't triple its beat when he slid inside her. It didn't pound in her chest, trying to break free like a caged bird when he began to thrust into her.
Hands grasping the doily under her perfume and make-up bottles, she rocked back into him. The thick feel of him inside her again after so long made her gasp. Her muscles clenched tight around his cock.
The Doctor groaned. "Fuck, Rose. I missed this."
"Me too," she panted, widening her legs. Shoving the front of her gown lower with one hand, she freed her breasts.
He grabbed them almost immediately, roughly squeezing the mounds of flesh as he pounded into her. "Need you. So wet-- tight. So tight and hot... Rose. Rose. Rose."
Her name falling from his lips like that reminded her of all the times they'd made love. Sometimes just fucked. She'd used those memories at night sometimes, used them to make herself come. Needed them to take her over the edge when just the vibrator in her drawer wasn't enough and her fingers grew tired.
"Doctor," she whimpered, hips slamming repeatedly into the wooden dresser top. The slight pain only made the pleasure better; more heightened. "Harder. Need you to-- harder. Faster. Like the feel of your cock in me. Like it when you fuck me." Jaw tightening as he pinched her nipples, she felt her release rising already.
Always so fast with him.
Impatient and needy. She thought he was too.
He sped up his pace and slammed into her harder, bending her lower so her hips stopped hitting the dresser. One of his hands rose to her hair and pulled at the pins. Blonde strands fell over her back and shoulders, dropping around her face, making it hard to see. But she didn't need to see their bodies moving in the mirror.
Didn't need to see the Doctor behind her, thrusting into her with straining muscles and clenched fingers.
Sweat stained her forehead and her hair stuck to her temples.
Still she fought for her release. It was there, just beyond reach. "Doctor!" Her muscles clenched around him, squeezing him so tight she began to ache. His pace sped up as he grunted in her ear, thrusting hard, impossibly hard.
His hand in her hair fumbled at her temple and cheek and she felt the unmistakable brush of him in her mind. He slid inside to caress her thoughts and feelings, not wasting time with careful touches or cautious meandering; they were both too impatient for that. Slipping around the pleasure, contentment, and love she was experiencing, he twined them with his own.
Pleasure rose in her, climbing higher and higher. He thrust harder and she felt what it felt like when she squeezed him, when she dropped her hand and grabbed the back of his thigh, clawing at his skin. Felt everything he did. He liked the high-pitched panting sounds she made, liked when she was vocal about what she wanted.
Liked when she said his name.
But most of all, when he came a moment later, hips pounding into hers, she knew that he loved her and that forever wasn't just a word for him anymore; it was a concept, something he wanted to spend with her.