"Nanako-chan...! It's time to get up! Those kids aren't going to teach themselves, you know. Nanako-chan, where the hell are you? Don't you have class today?" Kumiko asks, walking down the hallway to her daughter's room.
Kyo sighed as he drank his warm tea with Shin, husband of Kumiko Yamaguchi and father of Nanako, and reached into his kimono to scratch his broad chest. He suddenly began getting used to this wake-up call every morning. There was always some refreshing experience when Kumiko yelled at Nanako to get ready for school. Minoru and Tetsu were preparing their outdoor concession stand while Kumiko hunted high and low for Nanako. Shin could feel something amiss however.
Last night, Nanako was a full-on mafia queen like her mother, but she was preparing luggage as if she were moving away. Now, like any normal yakuza family, Nanako was provided with a house of her own when she went off to college and a few bodyguards, maids, a car, a motorcycle, and a part-time job just in case. Wakamatsu even found her a sexy tutor who had his eye on traveling to France for some reason. Kumiko kicked Wakamatsu's ass, of course, but at least the young girl had the whole nine yards. This time, on the other hand, she was packing very stylish but retro clothes and no cigarettes. Also, she had a lot of stuffed animals and toys packed away.
Spotting the time on his watch, Shin prepared his briefcase to leave for work when all of a sudden an angry shriek filled the room.
"What the hell!"
Shin ran to the back where he heard his wife's voice and noticed she was quaking with fury as she hunched over something. Kyo and the gang were at Shin's heels when he ran to the back, so they all huddled - against their better judgement - behind Kumiko to see a note clenched between her fingers. Wakamatsu dared to take out his reading glasses and read the note aloud.
Today is a very special day. My first assessment for my new students is after lunch! I was up almost the entire night finishing the exam, and I hope the students will take this test a little bit seriously. It should be an easy A. Sorry, maman, you didn't say which test the students had to pass with 50 pts specifically. Cheeses! :)
I'm sorry I couldn't eat with you all again, but there was a challenge that I accepted from one of my students. You can call it a fight, but it's nothing physical. Here's the story: my bravest student, Ame Nemui, cheated throughout his entire high school career. I have the right to expel him without the principal's authority. He made a 52 on a freshmen level exam, played a prank on the assistant principal, and challenged me to be a very important person in his life - his mother. The reason why I asked you, maman, what it meant to be my mother was for this challenge, remember?
Starting today, I'll be living with him as Ame Aisuru. I wanted to ask you, maman, if you could move into the house you all bought for me for college, but I didn't have time so I think Ame-san will have to go on without a grandmother. I'll be working part-time at the shopping mall a few blocks from us as a cosmetics consultant and possibly a fashion advisor. A friend of mine from math class is the manager of the cosmetics department, and her boyfriend was hiring for fashion advisors so I got the jobs.
I woke early to eat, pray for the deceased, and write this note to you. I'll be gone for about two weeks, maybe less. Uncle Kumai promised to visit for dinner some time. I hope he won't be mad knowing I won't be able to see him.
When this is over, maman, I hope you will not be too angry with me. I only wanted to make you proud.
Love you guys,
"Shin, get in the car!" Kumiko ordered, barking at her husband.
"Wha - ?"
"I said get in the car NOW!" Kumiko roared, scramming out of Nanako's room and jetting out of the front door. "She is so not going to that concert!"
She slammed the front door shut, pressed her back against the door, and began to sob. In honesty, Kumiko was afraid but proud. She was happy that Nanako accepted the challenge by this Nemui kid, but she was afraid that Nanako would lose something important again. A few moments later, Kumiko embraced herself as she walked to Shin's car then softly chuckled. Leave it to a sneaky, little girl to get her emotional, but Nanako wasn't any little girl. She was her daughter. Feeling the soft wind traveling through her pigtails, Kumiko took both scrunchies out of her hair and let the wind take it. She looked to the sky and began thinking about what she should pack for her new life in two weeks. Apparently, she was going to be a grandmother from now. The thought suddenly tickled the fourth generation yakuza heiress and made her blush and smile as she laughed heartily. She was going to be a grandmother without cock-blocking the bastard who knocked her daughter up!
My turtle dove, Kumiko thought, pressing her hands against her cheeks. I don't know whether to be upset with your decision to live with some strange punk, or happy to be acting as that punk's grandma. I was kinda hoping you'd marry off and take your new husband to the moon with the bed experience, but I'll settle for this instead. But, my turtle dove, please... please don't get too involved in another student's personal life. Please come home to me and say you won't do this again. Please... just... just... please be safe, Nana-chan...
Ame Nemui's Apartment
1-7-4 Akabane, Kita-ku
This is going to be my new home for about two weeks. In another hour, Nemui, one of the bravest students in Class 4-C of Meiyo no shou gai Gakushu Gakuen will wake up for the morning to start his day. Last night, I managed to persuade some of the Oedo clan's men to find this boy's house for me so I could get started on my end of the deal for this "bet." I've been up the whole night working on Class 4-C's first exam and cleaning this kid's apartment. To say there wasn't much in it, it was certainly filthy but his home isn't as bad as the classroom. I'd take his place over that hell hole any day unless there's something that could top both of these sloppy areas.
My name is Sawada Nanako. My mother is the illustrious Yamaguchi Kumiko, granddaughter of Kuroda Ryuichiro of the Oedo clan, and my father is the illustrious Sawada "Young Master Red Lion" Shin, my mother's high school student. My mother would have been the fourth generation boss had she accepted ruling the Oedo clan, but she wanted to be a teacher and couldn't take the responsibility of the clan mixing with her teaching career. I, however, am going to do the opposite. I plan to rule the Oedo clan as the fifth generation boss and the first woman to take over the group with pride and dedication to the family. Last night, mother told me that she was the fourth generation so I ended up having to change my speech as the new head. It broke my tender soul! However, before taking the crown, I must solve a profound mystery that involves this chemical that sold well fifty years ago in Meiyo no shou gai Gakushu Gakuen. Thus, I am teaching at this school to get a closer investigation.
Today, and only in this house and the mall close by, I will be referred to as Aisuru Ame, Nemui's single mother. My objective is to get Nemui to call me his mother and say that he loves me. At that point, this bet is over and we both can go back to our normal lives as teacher and student. I've certainly got my work cut out for me. This was definitely not something I planned on doing for my first three days of school. It's a fucking Friday! I don't know jack-shit about being a mom like my maman! Grandpa Kuroda, save me!
A loud ringtone woke the dark young man. Nemui reached over his nightstand and punched the hell out of his cellphone. He groaned before shifting around in his messy bed and realized the scrunched-up elastic part of his cover sheet was in his nose. When was the last time he changed his sheets? June? What month is it now? Matter of fact, what day is it? He sat up in his bed, stretched his back, and stepped onto the cold, wooden floor of his room. He reasoned he was probably going to need a new phone by Tuesday once he spotted the pieces of battery and back cover of his pink phone. Yes, even Nemui the goth kid liked pink things. It was completely dark in his room and yet he had his cat-like yellowish eyes to thank for his interesting night vision. He also had a father, who he never met, to thank for the night vision and a mother to thank for his color blindness. Nemui gritted his teeth and was in lieu of walking to his bathroom to escape any thoughts of his parents when he smelled something... yummy? Something was being cooked somewhere close and light was pouring in through the bottom of his door!
Nemui took in a sharp breath and smelled meat. He could hear the soft hissing sounds of grease in a skillet, and as he crept to his door in silent footsteps he felt warmth near the door. It was as if someone was cooking right by his door. Gulping whatever saliva was left in his mouth, he placed his hand on the doorknob and opened the door. The creak that pissed him off every morning because of the squeaking door hinges was gone! Nemui decided to be a child and push and pull the door back and forth just to see if he was imagining things and indulge in the silence of the old, rusting door hinges. Gradually, he began to hear soft jazz music play as the smell of meat and some other food filled his nose. He could hardly identify what breakfast smelled like. He usually skipped his morning meal. Who was cooking in his filthy kitchen? Most of the dishes were dirty.
He couldn't remember inviting anyone to stay the night at his house. That was a definite no-no with exception to Hebi-kun and Uru-kun. They all lived in the same apartment complex, so it didn't make sense to be paying rent to the same landlord and not visit each other's home. Plus, Uru-kun was the one who recommended he stay at the complex since the rent was dirt cheap and had a private bath house for tenants. Not even his closest friend, Shibui, came over to his house! Nemui opened his room door completely and instantly noticed the floors were mopped and polished. He took one step out of the door then another before taking a deep breath and licking his lips anxiously. Who the hell was here cooking in his kitchen and cleaning his house? He was down the hallway when he saw lengthy black hair with bleach blonde highlights pass to the refrigerator. He sunk back against the wall completely freaked out. Why was a woman in his apartment? He swore he came straight home without any company. Once he peeked at the profile again, he saw a cute woman putting slabs of bacon onto plates and flipping pancakes behind her back in a skillet while dancing. That took skill.
Nemui continued to watch the woman with some interest. She was puckering her soft pink lips as she cooked some chopped chicken onto the skillet and tossing a salad of greens simultaneously. She had long dark eyelashes and pink eyeshadow on. She pivoted around for a while taking juice out of his refrigerator and pouring the juice into cups. When did he have groceries of this luxury? Becoming impatient, Nemui walked out into the sunlit front of his apartment, gripped his hand into a fist, and punched the wall next to him loudly enough to startle the woman. She yelped dramatically before turning the volume down on an orange radio and smiling brightly.
"Ohiyo, MuMu-chan! :3" the woman greeted tenderly. "Did you sleep well?"
"Who the hell are you?" Nemui asked "kindly."
"Watch your language, boy," the woman hissed, demonic stars glowing out of her eyes. "I do not tolerate that sort of slang in this house."
Nemui tilted his head slightly, recognizing the intimidating aura coming from the woman, and then straightened his head. He opened his mouth to say something then closed it. Once he opened it again, he whispered, "Sawada-sensei?"
"Oh, is that your teacher for this year?" the woman asked, aura and glowing eyes disappearing in the blink of an eye.
Nemui furrowed his eyebrows then raised one up and said, "Well, if you're not Sawada-sensei, I certainly slept with the wrong girl."
The woman was flabbergasted at Nemui's words, earning an interested glance, and then dramatically broke down with tears as strong as choppy river water filling the room. Nemui simply watched the woman drown in her own sorrow before saying, "You've been fantasizing about your dream girl and didn't tell me? Is this any way to treat a mommy?"
Mommy? Nemui thought, instantly realizing the entire ordeal. The blonde woman was his SFS teacher, but she wasn't responding to Sawada-sensei because she was taking the place of his mother. That bet!
"I was giving you the entire weekend to think about our deal, and this is what you come up with in two days thinking it would satisfy the role as my mother?" Nemui hissed, growling.
"MuMu-chan, you're talking to me like I'm some stranger," the woman said, swimming with depression sharks now.
"If you're not some stranger, how'd you get in my house? I never gave you the keys to my apartment," Nemui stated, folding his arms and quite curious of how his new life was going to turn out. It was probably for the worse.
"First of all, this isn't your house, it's an apartment," the woman started, choppy water with sharks disappearing, then continued, "Second of all, I'm paying the rent and utility bills while you go off and flirt with girls who aren't good enough for my baby boy. Thirdly, your keys are the extra set I had to pry out of the landlord so you could get in the house after work. Last and most important, I've had these keys since we first moved in. As a bonus, why the heck am I explaining myself to a child?" the woman said, making an interesting face.
"So you badgered the landlord into giving you keys to my apartment, is that what I'm hearing?" Nemui questioned, tilting his head.
"Again, this apartment is under my name. I pay the bills, I own the place. What have you done to contribute to my hard work?" the woman asked, becoming melodramatic again with her sobs. "I've taken some random guy's sperm and mixed it with my blood, sweat, and tears to make my beautiful son so I wouldn't have to worry about gold-digging, no good skanks coming into my apartment and raping my MuMu-chan in the middle of the night while I slave to get the groceries in the fridge. I send you to school to get a good education and this is how mommy is repaid? You don't even call me at work anymore to tell me good luck. You just wake up and leave me for your - your - 2 IQ, easy women!"
"Who the hell is MuMu-chan?" Nemui questioned, trying his hardest to fight the laughter about to gush out of his chest. It was becoming awfully hard as he listened to Sawada-sensei's dialogue of a weeping mother.
"That's the name I gave you when I rocked you to sleep," the woman answered cheerfully, proud of the name as she swayed her hips cutely. Nemui had to hand it to his teacher, though; she certainly was adorable this way. She continued to say, "But that conniving bastard of a father said it was childish. You were a child anyway. What was the difference?"
"It's not childish," Nemui whispered, blushing a little. This woman was smart. She came up with a back story for this character. He said, "It's stupid. MuMu-chan sounds like a pet name for some Paris Hilton pooch."
The woman stopped growling at the thought of Nemui's "father" and instead envisioned Nemui as a small puppy not big enough to scare away robbers but cute enough for the robbers to steal it along with the other valuables. The only thing Nanako could think about was Nemui's cute puppy face when he caved, and the nickname fit perfectly.
Crap, I'm gonna get out of character, Nanako thought, turning red in the face. No, Nanako, don't laugh. Don't... laugh...
"Pfft!" Nanako heaved, bursting out into hearty guffaws.
"You evil bitch!" Nemui shouted, growling. "First, you harass the landlord and sneak into my apartment; then, you bring probably stolen goods in here; and now you - !"
Nemui's stomach growled loudly, making Nanako stop laughing and snicker instead, and interrupted his morning rant. He felt his face flush with embarassment as he clutched his stomach to silence it but to no avail. Nanako laughed even more obnoxiously as she gazed into Nemui's cute yet helpless face. He really was a charming boy. She wiped the tears from her eyes and walked over to the kitchen counter. Nemui watched as she retrieved a plate and glass of juice and reached it out to him.
"MuMu-chan," she said, smiling warmly. "Your tummy's calling."
This is... Nemui thought, taking the plate and juice. Mine?
"Sah!" Nanako cheered, putting her fists on her hips. "You'd better hurry and eat so you can get to school on time. I don't want any nonsense from you this morning. I'm dropping you off at school today, so we have to leave promptly to beat traffic. Also, I packed a nice lunch for you. I'm giving it to your homeroom teacher, so he can keep it cool and no bully picks on you to try and take it away. Oh, and I cleaned all your underwear and school clothes. They're in my room in the laundry baskets. I'm still pressing one of your uniforms, but the rest are properly pressed, hung, and folded."
"What do you mean 'your room'? This is a one bedroom apartment," Nemui stated.
"Have I really been this distant from you?" Nanako asked, looking at Nemui sadly. "That room in the back is my room."
Nemui's eyes widened as he whipped his around to the door in the back that would never open. How did she pry it open last night without him hearing it? How did she get in his house to do all of these things while he was asleep? Nemui walked to the back door with quickened steps, put the glass of juice down on the floor, and was shocked to see another bedroom and balcony! The view was amazing outside! Inside of the room was a black bench-bed, modern blue, green, and black rug, some bedside lamps, women's clothes, and his uniforms in laundry baskets. He couldn't believe it! It was as if she had lived there with him the entire time...
"Sorry about locking you out. My room was a mess," Nanako said, scratching her cheek cutely. Nemui only turned to her with wide eyes and remained silent. She chirped curiously and asked, "What's wrong? Are you sick? Did germs come out and attack you?"
"No," Nemui answered quickly, suddenly remembering he was hungry. He stooped down to retrieve his food and juice then walked passed Nanako in silence. Nanako simply shrugged her shoulders and leaped into the room to get ready for work.
"Ne, Shibui-kun!" Megane called, walking to Shibui's car as he approached the entrance. Shibui turned to him, flipped the hair out of his eye, and nodded in silent greeting. "Where's Ame-san? I need his study guide for the history test."
"Probably on his way here. Try callin' him," Shibui suggested, watching Megane pull out his cellphone.
Before Megane could finish dialing Nemui's number, a familiar, tall profile approached them and tapped Megane's shoulder. Megane and Shibui looked up to see Hebi-kun.
"Dude, you should totally be a horror movie actor," Megane commented, earning a small smirk from the teen. "Seen Nemui earlier?"
"He caught a ride with a woman," Hebi-kun answered, walking away from the other classroom leaders.
"A woman? What kind of a woman?" Shibui questioned, not knowing his friend had a girlfriend least of all a social life.
"Some blonde named Aisuru, I hear," Hebi-kun answered, walking into the school's front entrance.
The two leaders were shocked that Nemui, the antisocial goth, was catching rides with blonde women. Who was Aisuru?
"Morning, boys," a familiar voice greeted, making the boys turn.
"Ohiyo, Detective Aka," the boys greeted, smirking.
"Hey, Aka-san, you investigate stuff, right?" Shibui asked.
"Well, that's part of being a detective," Aka answered, smiling.
"Know any women named Aisuru who might have a notorious liking to sixteen-year-old boys?" Shibui asked.
"Not exactl - "
"Excuse me, officer!" a woman called.
Aka and the boys turned to the voice to see a beautiful woman running towards them. Nemui soon got out of the car, rushing to catch up with the blonde. Aka raised an eyebrow in curiosity and suddenly grew interested in the woman. She certainly was pretty. She slowed down in front of him, fixed her hair, and smiled brightly.
"Hi, I don't mean to be rude, but could you tell me where the principal might be. You see, MuMu-chan won't tell me where his homeroom is and I need to give this bento to his - "
"Pardon me, Aka-san!" Nemui interjected, slapping his hand on the woman's mouth and practically clotheslining her into the school. He turned to Aka, blushing like a madman, and shouted, "Swear to Buddha you didn't hear anything!"
"I solemnly swear..." Aka said, watching the boy drag the woman away. "To take a picture of that face next time I see it."
"Why would you drag me around like that?"
Nemui was out of breath as he panted and clutched his shaking knees. He couldn't believe Nanako called him MuMu-chan in front of his friends and Detective Aka. It was embarrassing! He, fortunately, dragged the woman into Principal Omoshiroi's office while everyone was out, so he just had to calm down before he snapped Nanako's neck in two for that humiliating experience.
"Is this how you're going to treat your girlfriends on a daily basis?"
"Quiet!" Nemui snapped. "No one asked you to embarrass me in front of my friends! Don't ever call me that stupid name in public ever!"
"Who the hell are you talking to?" Nanako hissed angrily.
Nemui gasped from the deadly gaze and was silenced. He said, "Sorry. Look, I don't want you to use that nickname at school. People talk. I don't want any trouble this year or next year when I graduate. It's not cool."
"Oh, okay, MuMu-cha - " Nanako stopped, eyebrow twitching, and then huddled in a corner. Blue waves of depression engulfed her small form as she banged her fist against the wall. She cried, "I'm sorry, Nemui-kun. I used your special name in public!"
"At least you caught yourself this time," Nemui sighed, standing up straight. "About the bento box..."
"I wanted you to keep it cool," Nanako chirped, flowers seeming to pop out of her head. "There's some juices and fruit cups in here. Also, the sandwiches taste better cold, so you should try to keep the box as cool as possible. Furthermore, no sharing food. If your friends don't have lunch, help them buy something. There's some pocket change in the little puppy purse I packed for you. :3"
"Boys don't carry around purses! It's girly!" Nemui argued, blushing.
"But it has little Rovers on it," Nanako complained, tears bubbling in her eyes. "It reminded me of you!"
"I'm not a puppy!" Nemui retorted, suddenly regretting it. Nanako pouted and sighed disappointedly with sadness in her eyes. Nemui growled then reached out his hand and said resignedly, "Just give me the wallet."
"No, it's alright," Nanako said, smiling sadly. "I guess it is a bit childish. I'll just take it out and give you the money instead. I just thought it'd be less of hassle carrying money around like that." Nanako took out the cute blue wallet with a white dog carrying a pink bone in its mouth, unzipped it, and took out the money that was in it. She handed the money to Nemui and said, "Here. Try not to lose it."
Nemui stared at the money before reluctantly taking it. He looked up at the wallet and saw the pink bone in the dog's mouth before blushing. Nanako placed the bento down and proceeded to walk away. Panicking, Nemui turned Nanako around and snatched the puppy wallet away from her.
He then whispered softly, "Thank you. I, uh, um... like the bone."
Nanako gasped then giggled. She said, "Then, I hope you like the surprise inside the wallet, too! Have a good day at school, MuMu-chan! Ah?" Nanako froze then huddled into a dark, depressing corner again. She cried, "I did it a~gain. I'm sorry!"
"Mom, it's fine!" Nemui shouted before gasping into silence.
No... Nemui thought, covering his mouth. His eyes were wide and his body was trembling. No... She's not my... I mean, she can't be my... No, I can't let her win this easily! She is not my mother!
With that, Nemui ran out of the room leaving a smirking, victorious Nanako behind.
Detective Aka came inside the school, hoping to find the blonde woman from earlier as he walked up the stairs to the Senior Department office. She certainly was a cutie. As he approached the door, Migoto was walking to the door and entering the room as Enkaku opened the door then closed it politely. Aka soon entered the office and took a deep breath before greeting everyone kindly.
"Ohiyo, Aka-san," Isha and Migoto greeted, blushing visibly.
"Ohiyo, detective," the men greeted.
Aka then noticed everyone greeted him politely except one person: Nanako Sawada, his mortal enemy. He didn't want to seem tense this early in the morning, but he was undoubtedly pissed at the rudeness if said woman was there. He didn't see her in the office, though, so he just went over to her desk to soil her lovely chair. Moments later, as if the devil was prepared for it, Nanako came into the office in her ridiculous Class 4-C costume smiling happily like love was at her heels.
Evil, little skank is what she is, Cupid, Aka thought.
"Ohiyo, Aka-san!" Nanako greeted, hopping into Aka's lap. This certainly surprised him, but it also made him suspicious. Nanako continued, "How is my favorite, sexy detective doing, hm?"
"What are scheming, woman?" Aka questioned, smirking a bit.
"Eh?" Nanako gestured, cuddling the man and making sure their lips were just centimeters apart. She whispered, "Why are you being so cold to me? Didn't you enjoy your morning breakfast?"
"I always enjoy a good croissant with honey and tea in the morning. Why are you being so weird to me?" Aka asked, inching away from the woman.
"B-but I thought you liked what happened between us earlier. You held me so tenderly in your arms and whispered such sweet words to me. I nearly fainted in your lust and love. The way you touched me was so magical. Your rough hands were on my hips and you howled the hours away like some mad demon as you got closer and closer to that white light. Your movements were like a blur in the mirror. I could hardly keep up with your rampage. I quivered and begged for it to end. Then, you let go. There was so much in me," Nanako whispered, letting the adults in the room imagine things they shouldn't so early in the morning. "You're going to deny those precious moments we shared?"
Aka blushed brightly at the imagery crossing his mind. He whispered, "You are evil. Just plain evil."
"Maybe next time you won't SIT IN MY FUCKING CHAIR WHILE I'M PRINTING PAPERS! Get the hell off my desk and go man your post or something productive," Nanako said, kicking Aka out of her chair and onto the floor.
"That's it!" Aka shouted, tackling Nanako to the floor and rolling her around so he could wring her neck.
"Oh, Aka-san, you're so demanding! No! Don't touch me there! Anh, your rough hands!" Nanako moaned, making the scene look arousing.
Hon and Ennpitsu got both of Aka's arms and pulled him backwards. Aka was struggling to get back to Nanako's neck as he tried to lunge forward. He was beyond pissed off. The men shouted, "Aka Egao-san, this is hardly the time or the place for PDA, especially this wildly! Have some control!"
"I am going to kill you!" Aka shouted, glaring at Nanako.
"Aka-san, you're so cruel," Nanako said, trying to re-button the front of her bra. "Why would you use me like this?"
Nanako proceeded to run out of the office and slam the door as she sobbed loudly. Once she hopped over the stair rails and landed perfectly on the next flight of stairs, she walked down them and smiled as she pulled out lemons wrapped in some rubbery bag that formed her fake breasts. Her bra and real boobs were safely tucked away in gauge bandages.
Back in the room, Isha gasped, marched up to Aka, and slapped him across the face. She screamed, "You insensitive freak! C'mon, Migoto!"
"And he was such a cute man," Migoto sighed, sobbing in disappointment.