Bri Nara Production

Merry Christmas! ^^ Ok, I know I already put a Christmas special, but the was for the Leaf Village. T.T I wanted to mess with Akatsuki for Christmas.

And before you ask, no. I haven't seen the newer version of 'A Christmas Carol' yet. -.-

This is not the story you all thought you knew.

Because it's the story, of a miser, Kakuzu.

He's as greedy as Scrooge was, as you can see.

Because when Christmas was coming, he didn't buy a tree...

"Kakuzu-san! Buy us a tree, please." Tobi pleaded for the millionth time.

"No. It cost too much money!"

"But Kakuzu-"

"No buts. No tree."

"WAH!!! You're mean!!"

He went off to his room, thinking everything was fine.

But no, he did not steal Scrooge's line. T.T

But just from the title, you expected this most.

The night of Christmas Eve, he was visited by a ghost.

Kakuzu was in his room sleeping, dreaming about money. So he didn't noticed the pale red-haired ghost floating next to his bed.

"Kakuzu..." The ghost said softly. Kakuzu didn't stir. "Kaaakuzu." Still nothing. "KAKUZU WAKE UP!"

Kakuzu jumped out of bed to see a young-looking red-haired ghost. The ghost had strings attached to each of his joints.

"Sasori? What are you doing here? You died at the beginning of the series."

He's here because I want him to be here. -.-

"Who said that?!"

Take a wild guess. X3

"Bri?!"

Close. I'm Bri's Inner. AKA, the author of this story, so what I say goes. -.-

"This is stupid. You woke me up at midnight. You can't tell me to follow this story."

I AM THE PUPPET MASTER AND I SAY DANCE!!!

Then Kakuzu was forced to do caramelldansen. "Fine! I'll do the stupid story!!"

Good. ^^ Now that we understand each other. Let the story continue.

"So what are you doing here, Sasori?" Kakuzu asked the ghost.

"I was sent here by Bri to tell you that you're going to be visited by 3 ghosts. And that you will relive 1 in the morning 3 times."

"Damn, that sucks. What for?"

Sasori pulled out a card and read "'For being a cheap-a__ and not getting the freakin' Christmas tree.'"

"Bri's Inner sounds like Hidan."

I heard that. -_-" You have no room to talk, you sound like Hidan when you're grouchy.

"Fair enough. That's it?"

"One more thing." Sasori tried to hit Kakuzu, but failed because of the basic "Ghosts can't touch things" rule. "That's for selling my puppets on eBay." Then Sasori disappeared.

"So I have to relive 1am 3 times. No big deal."

That's what they all say before they see the 'Welcome to Hell' sign. X3

The clock struck 1 and Kakuzu froze,

For from the floor, another ghost arose.

The ghost glided towards him as Kakuzu stared.

The ghost had sky blue eyes and long blonde hair.

"Deidara?!"

Deidara looked up at the ceiling. "Do I have to do this, un?"

Yes, Deidara-sempai. ^^ I couldn't think of a better Ghost of Christmas Past than you.

"Did someone sneak rum into your soda again?"

Maybe. O.o

"Let me guess. She dragged you into this too?"

"Yup, un. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past, un. I'm supposed to show you all the Christmas memories before you became an ancient miser, un."

"HEY!"

He's just telling it like it is, Kakuzu-san. -.-

"It could be worse, un. She could force us to talk in rhyme, un."

"DON'T GIVE HER IDEAS!!!"

No, for next year's special. -.- Now go see 91 years of sucky Christmases. Wait, is that spelled right?! O_o

Suddenly Deidara and Kakuzu were in the Waterfall Village, looking at a lonely 5-year-old Kakuzu on the street.

Lonely~! Kaku's so lonely~! He got nobodyyy, of his ooowwnn. XD

"Shut up!" Kakuzu looked at the younger version of himself pick up his first quarter.

Kakuzu found money, and found out how it works. -.- And the rest-

"-Is history." Deidara finished.

"Okay. I get it. I like money. Can I leave?"

NO! NOT UNTIL YOU SEE YOUR SUCKY-A__ LOVE LIFE! -__-"

"My WHAT?!"

Suddenly, they were at a Christmas party, and a teenage Kakuzu was under a mistletoe by accident. A random girl poured glue into his mask, and pressed it against his face. Kakuzu tried getting the mask off, but cut the corners of his mouth.

"Wow. Your love life sucks, un."

Ok, enough of this. Back to the room! O.O

Kakuzu fell into his room from the ceiling. "OW! Could I have at least had a pillow to land on?!"

Shut up, the next ghost is coming.

Once again the clock stuck 1.

Kakuzu saw eyes that burned like the sun.

With raven-black hair and eyes that glowed red.

The next ghost, certainly, was a sign of dread.

"Itachi?! You're in on this too?!"

"You say that like I want to be in a story controlled by Bri."

Itachi, say your lines or I'm putting Barney in there. -.-

"I am the Ghost of Christmas Present. I will show you your choices aren't pleasant. Now as you see the faces of your comrades go by, take notice that you made Tobi cry."

"Oh no! She's making you speak in rhymes!"

"And now Kakuzu, you can see. Why I didn't want to be in a story controlled by Bri." -.-

Suddenly Itachi and Kakuzu were in the living room. Tobi was on the couch crying. Leader was with Konan wondering what to do about it.

"Maybe we should get him a tree," Konan said to Pein.

"But we don't have to money to get one. He's just going to have to forget Christmas."

"Do you see want you did to Tobi?"

"I gave him disappointment at an early age. Big deal."

THAT IS IT!!! -__- SCREW THE PRESENT, YOU'RE GOING STRAIGHT TO THE PART WHERE I TORTURE YOU!!!

"Oh s__."

Itachi was gone and the clock struck one again.

The clock struck one and the air was cold.

There was a ghost in a cloak, as any could have foretold.

The room swallowed by shadows as fear hit its mark.

The final ghost's weapon, hidden in the dark.

"I take it you're the ghost of Christmas future." The figure didn't move. "Who's this supposed to be?"

It's a surprise. X3 Now follow him.

They were suddenly in a cemetary, in front of a head-stone. It said in fading letters 'Kakuzu, Tobi's first sign of turning into an actual super villain.'

"WTF?!"

Tobi was pissed off at you for not getting the tree. -.- So he turned evil ahead of time.

"ALL THIS JUST BECAUSE OF A STUPID-A__ TREE?!"

Yup. ^^

"I'm still not getting the tree."

Fine, LET THE HELL BEGIN!!! XD

"Well this should be fun."

Kakuzu's eyes widened as he recognized the voice. "Oh f___ no."

"Why the hell are you so surprised? I don't even celebrate this f___ing holiday, so I have plenty of time to kill by doing this f___ing story." The ghost took off his hood. It was Hidan. "Any last words before I throw you down there?"

Kakuzu's grave opened up to a one-way ticket to torture. Kakuzu stared down there, before saying bluntly, "Goodbye stupid fanfic."

Hidan pushed Kakuzu in there. Where Kakuzu suffered 56 hours of KakuHida yaoi.

Get Tobi the tree. -.-

"NO!"

So persistant. Give him the tree and the yaoi will stop.

"FINE! DEAL!"

Kakuzu was suddenly back in his room at 7am. "HA! YOU FELL FOR IT!"

F___ YOU! -.- Oh wait, O_o I can just force you to get the tree.

"WHAT?!"

Kakuzu went downstairs to go find Tobi.

And told him they were getting a tree.

And when Tobi hugged him in delight, some people say

That Kakuzu's 5 hearts grew 3 sizes that day.

"Ok, now you're just stealing s___ from the Grinch."

Shut up. -.- You're still getting the tree.

"How?! It's Christmas day already!"

(Snaps fingers) X3

A tree suddenly fell on top of Kakuzu, fully decorated and 10 feet tall.

"AAH! GET IT OFF!!!"

Tobi started jumping up and down. "Kakuzu-san did get a tree! But where are the presents?"

Coming right up. (Snaps fingers)

There were presents falling out of nowhere. Kakuzu was buried in presents by the time this Christmas Carol was over.

Merry Christmas, everyone! ^^

Sorry about this but the idea came to me when I got a massive headache after drinking some funny-tasting Coke at a restaurant.

I'm sorry about the Kakuzu-bashing, but he makes the perfect Scrooge.