Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon.
List of things I Ash Ketchum, or any of my Pokemon are not allowed to do.
1. I am not allowed to make Mewtwo devolve my opponent's Pokemon in the middle of battle for my amusement.
Ash was now in Sinnoh and was taking the Elite Four challenge. Currently he had Mewtwo in battle against Cynthia's Garchomp. But then he came up with a ridiculous idea.
"Mewtwo, use Devolution Beam!" he commanded.
Mewtwo blasted Garchomp with a white ray that devolved him from a savage landshark into a cute little Gible!
Cynthia had one word to say and it was written all over her face. "WTF!"
"Now, return!" Mewtwo went back to Ash's side. "Go, Charizard!"
"Oh come on, that isn't even fair!" yelled Cynthia as Charizard toasted Gabite who feebly tried to defend himself.
2. I will not have Mewtwo hypnotize Jessie into eating Meowth.
"All right twerp, this we-huh? Uhhhhhh," said Jessie as she was being hypnotized.
"Uhh, Jessie?" said Meowth. "Are you okay, you don't look-GWAAW!"
Suddenly Jessie bit Meowth on the head and started chewing on him!
"AHHHHHHHHHH! GEROF! GEROF! GEROF!" screamed Meowth who shook Jessie off his head and started running away from Jessie who chased after him like a drunken cavewomen.
3.I will not show Kingler the "Little Mermaid".
"Hey Kingler, are you alright?" asked Ash seeing his crustacean Pokemon looking disturbed.
"That movie was sick and wrong," muttered Kingler.
4. I will not use Glalie as a soccer ball no matter how much fun it is.
"Pikachu, here catch!" yelled Ash kicking a very dizzy Glalie towards his yellow Pokemon.
"I'm gonna be sick!" yelled Glalie.
5. I will not sniff Bulbasaur's bulb to get high.
"Guys...you need to try this, it's pretty badass," slurred Ash with a moronic look on his face.
"Damn, that's gotta be some pretty good shit he's on," said Squirtle.
6. I will not claim it is opposite day.
"Ash! It's so great to see you-what on earth!" Misty yelled once she saw what Ash was wearing, or to be more accurate wasn't wearing.
He had no clothes on at all and didn't seem the slightest bit ashamed. Besides him were his Pokemon who were wearing clothes.
Pikachu was wearing Ash's hat along with his Kanto and Johto clothes that had been miniaturized so he could fit in them.
Mewtwo was wearing a detective's outfit with a brown coat, Charizard was dressed like a modern day rock guitarist, Squirtle was wearing the clothes of a rapper, Gallade was dressed like Harry Potter and Sceptile was dressed like Clint Eastwood in one of his western films!
"Ash! Are you aware of the fact that you have no clothes on!" screamed Misty completely freaked out.
"Ketchum! Ash! Ket ket Ash ke Ash ketch Ash!" he replied.
7. I will not pretend to die just to hear my Pokemon freak out.
Pikachu let out a yawn as he woke from his sleep. "Morning Ash," he said as he stretched.
He turned his eyes over to his trainer and saw that he was covered from head to toe in his own blood.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ASH IS DEAD! OH MY ARCEUS, OH MY ARCEUS! WHAT DO I DO, WHAT DO I DO!!!!!!!! he panicked frantically.
"Boo!" Ash suddenly yelled getting up. "Hah! Fooled yah, didn't I Pikachu? You really thought I was dead, didn't you? ….........................................uh, Pikachu why are you looking at me like that?
8. I will not tell Mewtwo the real reason he was kicked out of Brawl.
"It doesn't make any sense! Why did they choose Lucario over me?" said Mewtwo angrily.
"Simple really, cause your Frieza and Lucario's Goku," said Ash.
".............................I'm being voiced by Dan Green, Ash," said Mewtwo.
9. I will not videotape my Pokemon making idiot's out of themselves and put it on Youtube.
"Oi! Somebody uploaded a video last night during that part!" yelled Squirtle.
"Holy freaking Arceus, is that Sceptile humping Bayleef?" said Pikachu.
"He must have been really smashed last night," muttered Charizard.
"Let's see who uploaded this," said Squirtle. "Hmm, assketchup? Who could that be?"
10. I will not let my Pokemon drink alcohol and have a party unsupervised.
"Ah man, what did I do last night?" groaned Charizard who was suffering a bad hangover.
"Huh? Who's there?" said a voice from behind.
Charizard turned around and saw that the person next to him in bed was Harrison's Blaziken!!!
"..............AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU SQUIRTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!