So I felt like I've been neglecting Caitlyn and this thought was kind of floating around in my mind, so…This came about. Even though I should realy be writing for my other stories….
Disclaimer: I do not own Camp Rock
If there's one thing Caitlyn Gellar knows, it's loneliness. It was always her standing one the sidelines, watching everyone else go by. It had all started in second grade when she punched that boy (he cried, too) because he called her names her mommy wouldn't even let her say.
Loneliness was a familiar thing, but not pleasant like other familiarities. It was cold and hard, keeping Caitlyn awake late into the night and staring at the ceiling. It wasn't the comforting familiar like that one tshirt you wear until it's practically nothing.
The feeling feels like a bone-chilling wind, pushing and pulling at her even when she's surrounded by people. Everyone is laughing, but Caitlyn can't find the warmth to laugh with such a aching inside of her.
Sometimes she wonders if maybe (just maybe) she's feeling a little overdramatic and feels like she's on the verge (or maybe even past) of emo. The thought makes her frown (deeper) because she used to feel so full of energy and just bouncing in happiness for no apparent reason.
There's a place that she goes to, to be alone. Which is ironic considering loneliness is her dilemma in the first place, and often what drives her to this spot. Its impossible to be amused by the thought though, because it hurts too deep and aches too hard.
This is where she finds her comfort. If it can be called comfort, that is. Caitlyn likes to imagine that it helps her feel better, because inside she knows it doesn't really make her feel any different.
The water's edge is very close, but just out of reach. She sits on the small cleft, feet hanging down, barely keeping from skimming the water's surface. There's no way to get into the water without either falling or hopping off the small, sudden ending bank.
The trees give her the feeling of seclusion. Which is ironic because seclusion is all she ever feels and it hurts more than she can express. The bushes grow together and entangle with others to make a canopy in of sorts that creates a wall.
Which is strange, because a wall between her and everything else is just what she's wishing away.
The sun shines, warming her bare skin- she always wears skinny jeans and a tshirt-but never quite taking the chill from her. The loneliness can't be scared away with just a little heat.
Caitlyn wonders if she jumped in the icy cold lake, if the coldness would even bother her because she's already getting the chills in the middle of summer. That wasn't normal, and she knew it.
It wasn't depression, because Caitlyn knew how that felt. She had been depressed once when her mother had died, and it had lasted seven months before fading. The plague of loneliness and the infection of depression felt completely different.
Then one night, Caitlyn felt the cold feeling fade for an instant when a new feeling flooded her veins briefly. Someone had found her spot and was seated there, staring out at the lake. She was furious, to say the least.
Soon enough (as she knew it would, but hoped it wouldn't) the lonely feeling set in again, and Caitlyn sat next to the person. She'd just have to find another place to be alone and pretend it helped.
When she felt the eyes on her, Caitlyn only looked back blankly, eyebrows furrowing afterward in wonder. His eyes were brown and warm, and for a moment, Caitlyn felt the cold feeling melt away.
Nate Gray was asking her if she was alright, but she only waved her hand silently, finding no words to explain the empty feeling she felt. He probably wouldn't understand or even care, for that matter.
Suddenly, Caitlyn felt herself grow warm when his hand took hers gently before lacing their fingers together, resting their joined hands on his leg without a word. The warm feeling was soothing and she felt herself relax and even manage a smile.
The feeling of loneliness melted away soon enough, Nate's soft smile at her helping it to become only a memory. A hated memory.
And suddenly, Caitlyn isn't alone anymore.
Reviews would be wonderfully nice to find in my inbox... :D