Author's note – I had to hold off this chapter until I wrote chapter twenty of Baby Care Package

Christmas Nightmare
~ Icy Pain~

Two bright teal eyes watched the setting sun from the wooden porch. The boy's hands touched the familiar wood of his grandmother's home. A smile was upon the face as none of the other local children bothered or bullied him as he sat there. There was the feeling that something was missing but the boy couldn't put his finger on the issue. No, it felt like there was something he was forgetting more then anything.

Soft footsteps came from behind him causing the boy to suddenly sit up and look straight out. His head then turned to look at the small bare feet that were now standing next to him. His eyes glanced up at the pale haired figure that was grinning widely at him. "Amazura?"

The boy suddenly found himself wrapped in a hug by a small girl. "Onii-chan!"

A comfortable smile spread across the boy's face as he wrapped his arms around Amazura and pulled her into his lap. He was dressed in that old green kimono of his and she was dressed in an icy blue one. He pointed out to a small field by the house. "When spring comes we'll plant melon seeds. That way when summer gets here we'll have plenty of melon when it gets hot."

"Ehh..." The blond child glanced at the empty field. Her pale teal eyes were filled with laughter that made Toshiro feel comfortable. "I like melon. Will onii-chan teach Amazura to grow melons?"

"Of course! That is a promise." The boy let out a laugh before he glanced back up at the garden. "We can also sell melons. If we sell enough of the melons I can get you and granny something nice come Christmas time. I would like to get you each something nice of your own."

"What is Christmas?" Amazura began to swing her legs back and forth, enjoying the chance to sit in the boy's lap.

"Let's see." Two bright teal eyes glanced at the ceiling of the small wooden patio. "Christmas is the time that wishes are supposed to come true. It is about caring for others and those around you. Not to mention it is about showing other people love and kindness. That is what... I don't remember who told me that, but someone told me."

The boy felt a flash through his mind of the back of a woman's head. Her hair was beautiful strawberry blond curls. Toshiro found himself clapping a hand to the side of his head covering one of his eyes slightly in frustration. The small girl spoke up then. "Amazura's Christmas wish is for onee-chan's wish to come true. What is onii-chan's wish?"

Toshiro found himself suddenly frowning as he thought about the question. "My wish is... my wish is to know who our parents are."

"Oh." Glancing down caused him to look into the curious pale teal eyes of the small girl. "I think there is something hidden here..."

"Ehh?" The white haired boy glanced down at the girl as confusion spread across his face. As he glanced back up he suddenly saw a tall shadow in the setting sun. He carefully set the girl down onto the wooden porch. "Stay here Amazura. I'll be right back."

"Don't go!" A small hand reached out to grab his clothing but missed. "Onii-chan will get hurt if he goes that way."

Toshiro still headed towards the figure. When he went into the bright light he found himself holding his arms up in front of his eyes to block it. When he brought them down he found himself away from the house facing it from the direction of the village. He blinked a couple of times as he saw a small figure sitting on the porch swinging his legs back and forth.

Two bright teal eyes blinked a couple of times before realization hit him of who the white haired child was. "Myself? I don't understand."

Frowning, Toshiro stepped a bit closer and examined the boy carefully. The clothing was horribly done much to his confusion. "Did granny ever dress me like this? I don't think she did, because she did well when I was ill."

A sound was heard suddenly from the path and his eyes darted up to see a shadowed figure coming down the path. This one was shorter though and seemed to be around his current height. A shuffling sound was heard from his side and he glanced down to suddenly see a small figure go hurtling forward at the shadowed figure.

"Otou-san, I dressed myself!" The small Toshiro cried out with a huge smile on his face. The words were that of a very young child.

The older Toshiro blinked a couple of times in wonderment. "That's why my clothes were messy like that..." However, something else clicked about what his younger self had said and he turned his head towards the man he was running towards. He found his jaw dropping when he saw a younger version of a person he knew very well. "Ichimaru?"

Two bright teal eyes watched as his younger self reached his hands up to the young man. "Otou-san? Up please?"

A feeling of dread suddenly filled the young boy's mind as he looked at the child desperately wanting his father's attention. "I'm not your father."

A breath of sound escaped the older Toshiro's lips as he heard this declaration. "Ichimaru told me he was my father. No. It wasn't just that. Granny flat out told me that I was his child. She told Ukitake Taicho that Gin is my father."

"Yes you are." The child's face twisted up and he suddenly latched onto the shinigami robes. The older Toshiro stepped backwards once, his head shaking.

"No... I'm not." The next thing the older Toshiro knew was his younger self was bawling his head off, his small head pressed into the man's chest.

"No..." The older white haired child continued to back up. "Why would you do this?" Toshiro felt himself suddenly shrinking and looking up at the younger version of the man he had come to know his father. He felt his lip begin to tremble and he turned on his heal and began to run as fast as his legs could go. He kept running until suddenly he found himself tripping and falling to the ground.

A rock came hurtling past his head and he glanced up to see the shadows of what seemed to be older boys from his village. He felt his body tremble and instinctively he covered his head and ducked down. He could hear voices around him calling out things.

"He's the son of that monster."

"He's a monster. A demon. You all know why."

"I wasn't born in soul society. I don't have..." Toshiro found himself biting his tongue. "I do have a father though." Two teal eyes watched as his hand gripped the dirt and a few tears fell down on top of his skin. "Why? Why am I so upset about this? I didn't know that Ichimaru was my father until recently."

"But you did know." The voice speaking to him wasn't Hyorinmaru but his own this time around.

"How could I have?" The boy clutched the ground tighter.

"... I can say I do love you and your mother." Why Ichimaru's words suddenly came running through his mind Toshiro didn't know.

One hand suddenly slammed down into the ground causing dust to fly up. "You're lying! If you loved us, why did you abandon us like this. Why?"

"Onee-chan?" A small voice came from behind him causing Toshiro to glance up to see Amazura. Two pale teal eyes were filled with worry.

Toshiro smiled at her. "I'm all right."

"Are you sure?" The girl asked.

"No. I'm not sure. But I shouldn't worry her about that." The boy continued to smile. "I'm fine."