A\N: Italics denotes Sarek's memories. Regular type denotes the present.
She refers to it as "making love," and it makes him uncomfortable. Such a human expression- emotional, illogical, messy. But then, his life has often been that way since Amanda came into it.
He remembers their wedding night. She had come to him a virgin, eager but vulnerable. And he was so much stronger than she was. He knew immediately that this encounter could not be like others he'd had. He could not only think of his own needs. He had to be attentive to her. He had to be careful not to hurt her.
He had known she was scared. He could feel it through their marital bond. He could see it in her eyes, in the way she trembled. But she came to him anyway. Not just because she found him attractive, but because she knew it would make him happy. She put aside her fear and gave herself fully and completely to him.
As their bodies became one, so did their minds. He could feel every sensation in her body, every emotion in her heart as keenly as his own. As he felt the initial pain give way to pleasure, he could feel her fear give way to something else. . .something he could not name. It felt like passion, yet it was different . Sarek had since learned the name of this feeling: tenderness. A deep caring for another person. Sarek had suddenly felt how much Amanda cared for him: how she wanted to make him happy, how she wanted to keep him safe, how she was determined to stay by his side no matter what difficulties their marriage brought. It had flooded him, overwhelmed him, completely undone him.
She had taught him something that night. She had taught him that sex could be an emotional as well as a physical thing. That one could use one's body not to just bring physical pleasure to one's mate, but to show devotion. How he began to regret all his previous dalliances! A purely physical act was nothing compared to this-an expression of a true bond, a deep, powerful connection with another person.
Sarek looks over at his wife of forty-two years. She is lying on her back, sound asleep, smiling. She is breath-takingly beautiful, and this contributes in no small part to his desire for her. But her body is not the only thing he finds attractive about her. He also admires her intellect, her courage, her kindness, her enthusiasm for life. She enriches him in so many ways. And if the sex act brings unbelievable physical pleasure, the true pleasure is watching her sleep beside him afterwards. Knowing that they belong to each other, knowing that she cares for him, knowing that he has made her happy-this is where the real satisfaction lies.
So he pulls her into his arms, relishing how warm and soft she is against his body. And as he closes his eyes, he reflects that "making love" is perhaps not such an illogical term for what they have just shared after all.