So here it is, finally! The sequel to 'on your doorstep', if you haven't read that one then this is what you want to know: Chloe, one of Dean's flings showed up about four years after he had left her with a three year old boy, Dean's son James. She left and Dean went to find her, found out she was being abused and brought James to Dean to save him. She left Dean with the message to never look back. When Dean went back for her, he found she and her father had died in a housefire Chloe apparently had started.
Blow your tears is the continuation of this tale. The title is based on a song by Racoon with the same name.
I don't own the show Supernatural or any of the characters that appear on that show, but I'm sure you don't need to be told that. I don't own the title or the lyrics mentioned here either. Oh and Dean's 19, Sam's 15.
Blow your tears into my face
Sadness is for later days
And don't be sad my little one
Life has only just begun
It had been a week already since Dean found out about Chloe, and still he hadn't plucked up the courage to tell James yet. No doubt the kid would want to see his mother once he started about her, but he couldn't. And he knew damn well how that felt, he couldn't do that to his son.
'Dean? You okay?' Sam spoke softly as he approached Dean from behind, plopping down next to him just outside the door of their motel room, leaving the door slightly ajar.
'Of course' Dean stated, a lot would have to happen before Dean would admit to his younger brother that he was not doing fine.
'I knew you were, though I was sort of expecting an answer along the lines of just peachy' Sam retorted, he was well aware of that same fact. Dean snorted and Sam laughed more freely, putting his hand loosely on Dean's shoulder.
'But that's okay, as long as you know that when you're no longer fine, I'm here' Sam stated, taking his hand off Dean's shoulder before he had a chance to shrug it off, knowing full well how much his brother hated those affectionate moments.
Dean was waiting for him to get back up, but he didn't. Instead he remained seated, hugging his legs to his chest, chin resting on his knees, staring into the distance. He was probably going to say something really wise now, making him sound much older than his 15 years. But even that didn't come. He was just sitting there, doing nothing at all. Dean averted his gaze and looked in front of him once again.
They sat in silence for a while, neither of them willing to break it. Dean had to admit he found his brother's presence oddly comforting. The familiar rumble of the Impala's engine sounded as their father pulled into the parking lot both brothers had been staring at.
'Hey you two, what you doing?' John asked a while later as he came walking in their direction, carrying a couple of paper bags filled with groceries he had gone to pick up. Dean shrugged.
'Where's James?' He proceeded to ask. Sam pointed his thumb in the direction of the door, still neither one of them spoke a word. John nodded with a smile on his face, knowing this was one of those moments his sons seemed to share sometimes that he just didn't understand. He decided to leave his boys to it and walked past them, into the motel room where his grandson was probably asleep.
'JAMES!' Dean yelled, trying to grab his little boy's hand, but his body would not comply. He looked at the boy's face, his eyes were wide with fear, tear tracks stained his cheeks and he looked so scared Dean had to swallow back the lump in his throat. The tiny boy's arms were stretched out, desperately reaching for his father and Dean felt his heart sink. He cursed his body for not following orders and screamed his son's name once more on the top of his lungs, but there was nothing more he could do than watch his son disappearing from sight.
'James?' Dean whispered, fingers grabbing into thin air. A tear made its way down his cheek.
'Dean?' A harsh voice from behind him said. Dean turned towards the source of the voice and stared into a pair of deep black eyes. He didn't even have time to react, because a bloodcurdling scream filled his ears, one he instantly recognized as James'.
Dean twirled around, looking for the little boy, a scream escaped his lips as he realized he wasn't there and there wasn't anything he could do to save him.
Dean shot upright, gasping. He glanced around the room, eyes searching automatically for the little boy who was sleeping peacefully right next to him. Sam, in the bed across the room hadn't stirred either. He wasn't used to listening out for his brother's nightmares and somehow Dean was relieved he hadn't noticed. Nightmares were more Sammy's thing and secretly that made them geeky and for the weaker people in Dean's eyes. Though Dean would never call Sammy weak, he wouldn't live to regret it if he did, he had always forced himself to be stronger than Sam.
'Dean?' His father whispered, knocking softly on the door before turning the key in the lock. Their room held two keys and their father had insisted on receiving the other key in case of emergency.
'Everything alright Dean?' He whispered upon entering. He walked into the room far enough to close the door behind him, but stayed close to the door.
Dean nodded. 'Yeah, I'm fine' He whispered back, though he very much doubted that the youngest two would awaken if he spoke louder.
'I heard you screaming, nightmare?' His father questioned, a hint of concern showing on his face. Of course the oldest Winchester had always been a light sleeper, apart from the nights he had tried to drown his sorrow in a bar of some kind. Add to that the fact that their usual establishments had very thin walls and it was no surprise his father had heard him.
Dean nodded again.
'You good now?' John asked, his features hardened again when Dean mumbled something like 'fine'. He turned around without another word, neither one of them comfortable around touchy-feely situations.
'Goodnight dad!' Dean called after his father with an hushed voice. John looked over his shoulder, and smiled at his eldest son.
'Night Dean' He said and closed the door, effectively putting Dean in the dark.
Dean laid back down and stared at the ceiling, the overwhelming feeling of failure and loss he had felt in his dream trying to get a hold of him again as the images flashed before his eyes. The sight of James desperately reaching for him, crying his eyes out, had broken his heart. He hoped that he would never have to live through that. A month ago he didn't even know he had a kid and now nightmares of losing his son were plaguing him. It was ridiculous how much had happened in such a short time.
The nightmares though didn't surprise him. He had had them before, after their run-in with the shtriga, when it had become painfully obvious for the first time how dangerous their father's job was and how easily either he or little Sammy could be hurt or worse. He had promised himself then he wouldn't let anything like that happen ever again, that he would follow his dad's orders and put a little more effort into training. After he had proven to himself he had done whatever it took to prevent something like that from happening ever again, the dreams had subsided. Dean couldn't wait for that to happen this time, he could do with a decent night of sleep.
'Daddy, wakey, wakey!' Immediately followed by a weight being dropped on his chest woke him up in the morning. When he opened his eyes he found himself looking into the big green orbs of his three year old, who was flashing a wide smile at him.
´Good morning buddy´ Dean mumbled, pulling himself up. He couldn´t help but smile back at the kid, even if he did prefer being woken up in a slightly calmer fashion.
´What are you doing?' He asked, reaching for the boy and pulling him closer to his chest for a short hug, last night's nightmare not yet forgotten.
'Wake you up of course' James replied in a how could you not understand that voice, crossing his arms.
'You wanna play daddy?' He added, before Dean had even gotten a chance to reply to the first statement.
'Of course buddy, after daddy has gotten a shower and we've had breakfast. Why don't you go play with your uncle for a little while so I can get ready?' Dean proposed, getting out of bed, taking James with him and putting him down on the floor.
'Unca Sammy has school. When do I go to school daddy?' James asked, turning his head up towards his father
'When you're a little older. Show me how old you are now' Dean said, kneeling down to his son's level. James stuck up three fingers.
'See, when you're this many fingers…' Dean uncurled one more finger and his thumb, so James was holding up his entire hand '…then you get to go to school. But tell you what, if you ask real nicely, I'm sure uncle Sam will teach you some things' Dean said, adding that last part when James started pouting after realizing how long that was going to be. His face lightening up at the mention of Sam teaching him a couple of things.
'Really?' He asked, mouth hanging up in excitement.
'Sure, go ask him' Dean said, nodding his head in Sam's direction who had just emerged from the bathroom.
'Unca Sammy!' James yelled, taking off in Sam's direction and launching himself on his uncle, who could only barely catch him before they both went down to the floor.
'Hello to you too James' Sam stated in fake anger. James' eyes grew wide
'Sorry unca Sammy' James pouted.
's okay. I'm sure you didn't mean to' Sam said upon noticing the child was genuinely upset, carding his fingers through the boy's hair.
'What did you want to say?' He asked, getting himself back on his feet. His nephew looked up at him, a smile spreading across his face again as he remembered what he was going to ask.
'You teach me unca Sammy?' He asked in his sweetest voice, puppy dog eyes flashing up at his uncle. Dean only barely held back a laugh at seeing Sam was getting a taste of his own medicine. Sam had been teaching his little boy how to ask for certain things, knowing that neither he nor their father was able to resist that look. He probably wished he'd never taught the kid, because he wasn't much better at denying the boy anything than his brother and father were, especially when he looked at him like that.
'Teach you what?' Sam asked, looking over at Dean who shrugged.
'School' James simply stated. 'Please?' He pleaded when it didn't look like his uncle was going to give him the answer he was looking for.
'You sure?' Sam wanted to know and James nodded eagerly, smile growing even bigger. How could this be Dean's kid? Dean had always hated everything that had to do with school.
'Well okay, I'll teach you a few things if you really want to. But after I get back from school this afternoon, okay?' Another nod from James and Sam ruffled the boy's hair smiling
'Hey Sammy, don't make him too smart or anything, would you? I don't think I can deal with two geeky kids' Dean joked, passing both his little brother and son on his way to the bathroom.
'Jerk' Sam mumbled under his breath, but loud enough for Dean to hear it.
Dean opened his mouth to give him the usual reply, but thought better of it.
'Love you too Sammy, please look after him for a while so I can take a shower' He said, closing the door behind him before Sam had to chance to argue with him.
This was just a chapter to get back into it. I really hope you liked it. The next one should be coming soon as I've practically finished that one already. The action should be picking up soon too.