Time taken to write this: 10 minutes. :D

Cyrus Goes to the Mall

Once upon a time, there was a man named Cyrus. Cyrus wanted to destroy the world and build a new one in its place because he thought the current world was a rather shitty sort of place. In order to achieve this goal, he decided to enslave the Pokémon of Time and Space. However, he was nabbed by the Pokémon of Anti-matter and taken to some place called the Torn World.

Cyrus had been walking around for a couple of days in the ravaged landscape when all of a sudden, a shopping mall appeared. With nothing else to do, Cyrus decided to go inside and browse. Maybe the shopping malls in this place would be better than the ones in the shitty world that he had come from. He walked inside and came face-to-face with a grinning Chimchar.

"Welcome to Mall-Mart!" the Fire-type told him.

Cyrus stared at the monkey, already feeling as though its happiness was giving him diabetes. The Chimchar never stopped grinning. Eventually, Cyrus decided that he might as well do something. He went over to the "World Domination" section and selected a very nice Take-Over-the-World-in-Fifteen-Minutes Machine. However, with the world too far away to take over properly, he went and bought a lollipop instead. Instead of eating the lollipop like a normal person would, Cyrus just stared at the sweet as though he were unsure of what he was supposed to do with it.

The former leader of Team Galactic finally decided what he wanted to do for the rest of his life in the Torn World. He bought a typewriter from the Mall-Mart and wrote a long, unnecessarily detailed autobiography, in which he explained why he hated the world and wanted to destroy it. It quickly became a best-seller in the Torn world. This can probably be explained by the fact that no one in the Torn World had never written, let alone bought, a book. Therefore, selling two copies meant a book was a bestseller. The overly cheerful Chimchar and Giratina both bought a copy. It moved the Dragon-thing to tears.

The Chimchar ate it.

And Cyrus, once again, had nothing to do.