Guns for Hire

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Nintendo or Marvel.

Chapter 6: Super Awesome Fight Chapter!

Deadpool groaned,

"Finally, the reason the fan fiction readers even bother reading this thing in the first place."

I heard that, Wade. You're becoming about as over-rated as Wolverine.

Wolverine rolled his eyes,

"Is he seriously that over exposed?"

Yep, with what, five books? A poster book? Hell, even a possible movie deal in the works.

Deadpool pulled out a pair of sunglasses,

"Oh, yeah! Hollywood loves me!"
Samus shoots Deadpool,

"Come on, Wade! I wanna fight Ridley!"
Ridley barked something.

Yes, Ridley. You'll get a treat when you're done. Now, places and…ACTION!!

Ridley roared furiously and fired his fire breath attack at the three. Samus and Wolverine rolled out of the way, while Deadpool jumped high. He pulled out a machine pistol and opened fire,

However, the bullets harmlessly bounced off Ridley's thick skin. Ridley countered by swinging his tail at the Merc-with-a-mouth. Wade was sent crashing into a tree, snow cascading down on top of him.

Wolverine roared in, claws unsheathed. He jumped and stabbed Ridley in the chest, causing the Space Pirate to scream in pain. Ridley tried to get away, thrashing his tail about. Wolverine ducked and thrashed at Ridley's legs. The Space Pirate took to the skies, hoping to throw the little man off. Deadpool emerged from the snow bank, shouting,

"No one snows me out of my reward!"
He ran as quickly as he could and jumped, latching on to Ridley's other leg. Ridley was being weighed down and tried desperately to shake them off.

Samus aimed her blaster at Ridley. She smirked,


She launched a super missile at Ridley, which hit directly. Ridley began a tail spin back to the ground, Deadpool and Wolverine going with him. The Merc-with-a-mouth shouted,

"Oh, man! I didn't even change my underwear after the last time."

Suddenly; everything went black.

Samus woke up from her dream, shaking her head,

"Wow, that was weird."

She noticed she was in her hotel room on a lush, tropical planet with a sparkling beach. Samus was in an orange bikini as she remembered,

"I must've fallen asleep or something. But, how?"

She could not seem to remember much, but she did know she wanted to go to a planet with hot springs. Samus, putting on a robe, trying to keep some decency, walked to the front desk and asked,

"My room's been paid for, right?"
The attendant nodded,

"Yes, Ms. Aran. According to this, you arrived yesterday."

Samus nodded,


She walked back to her room and activated her comm-link. She said,

"Science Station, do you copy? This is Samus."

The voice on the other end said,

"Ms. Aran, so good to hear from you. Is something the matter?"

Samus asked,

"I did bring you that Metroid sample, right?"

The scientist said,

"Yes, and without incident. We'll be able to study this young specimen for years to come."

Samus nodded,

"Thanks, doc."

She hung up and sighed,

"Well, now to enjoy m hot springs."

As she began to leave, her comm-link went off again. It was the Science Station. The voice screamed,

"Help! Ridley's attacking!"
Samus groaned out loud,

"I am never going to enjoy my hot springs at this rate."

She suited up and headed out.

Samus then saw a white flash. She looked up and saw Deadpool and Wolverine standing above her. The Merc-with-a-mouth said,

"Think those are real?"

Samus pointed her cannon at Deadpool's manhood,

"Don't even think about it, buster. Not unless you like doing the potty dance without 'em."

Wade covered his privates, pleading,

"Not Mr. Happy! He hasn't done anything to you…yet."

Logan grunted,

"Don't bother, lady."

Samus rubbed her head,

"What happened?"
Deadpool explained,

"Well, after we all crashed, Ridley's tail smacked you in the forehead, knocking you out."

The Metroid hunter shook her head,

"I was knocked out? I must be getting rusty."

She took her helmet off and touched her head. She could feel a bump and a cut.

Instantly, Wolverine gulped. He never knew that a ruthless bounty hunter like Samus was such an attractive red-headed young woman.

Samus stood up,

"Well, I suppose I should be thanking you."
Logan shook his head,

"No problem. We cleaved him up; and his head's over there."

He pointed to the head, which was decapitated. Samus grinned,

"Great, now I can get him, the Metroid, and get off this planet."

She then realized,

"Except, if my ship weren't blown up."

Deadpool shrugged,

"No problem; we just let Reed Richards build you a new one. Just work out a trade."

At this, Samus blinked,

"You want me to trade? What do I have to trade that's so valuable?"

She then looked at Ridley and the Metroid. She then said,

"Oh. I'll give him Ridley."


After talking with Reed Richards, the stretchable scientist Mr. Fantastic, Samus was sitting in a hot tub, armor off. She sighed happily to herself,

"This may not be a hot spring, but I definitely could use this to unwind."

Deadpool grinned,

"Can I join?"

At this, he was promptly skewered by Wolverine and thrown out of a window. Samus smiled,

"Thanks, stud."

She stood up and Logan dropped his jaw in shock. He never imagined Samus would look so hot in a blue bikini. The Metroid hunter winked,

"Come on in; the water's hot."

Outside, Deadpool was in the street. He groaned,

"Oh, come on. This fan fiction is me teaming up with Samus, and Wolverine gets the girl. That's it! I'm writing my own fan fiction about me, and it's going to be the awesomest work ever! Why you ask, readers? Because I am…DEADPOOL!!!

End of Guns for Hire