Finally Had Enough

Bella's Point of View


I sat in the middle of the woods near La Push, but far enough away that Jacob won't hear my shrieking screams or my heartbroken sobs.

I knew what I was about to do was wrong, but I didn't care. I will finally be in peace - forever. I took out the knife that I hid in my bag and placed it on the ground beside me.

My life is disgusting, horrible, and I will finally be able to rest, to finally be able to be happy. I knew Victoria was out to get me. To kill me. If she found me then she would leave Jacob and his family alone. She would be satisfied of my death and I will be dead.

I sat staring at the knife beside me and let the tears roll down my cheeks.

I have hated my life ever since Edward left. No one could make it better. Not even Edward himself. He has inflicted too much pain on me to come back into my life and for me to love him like he never left. I would never be able to do that. I will never be the same ever again.

More tears rushed out of my eyes and I sobbed, not even bothering to be quiet.

Edward used to love me - he doesnt any more. I still love him - I will never stop. I must get over him, just to make him happy. I sit here now, just to make him happy. I am taking my own life away, just to make him happy.

I took out four peices of paper and placed them next to the knife, each of them marked with a name. Edward. Jacob. Charlie. Renee. They all explained my reasons. Each reason different. But I knew the truth: I could not live without Edward. And I am not planning on living any longer without him.

I picked up the knife and stared at it. What was I going to do with it?

Through the heart - Instant death?

Or wrists - Let the pain bleed out of me before I finally rest in peace?

I sat there thinking how I was going to kill myself.

Wrists or heart? Heart or wrists? Wrist, heart or head?

I pulled out the gun that I forgot about. I stole it from Charlie when he was sleeping. I frowned at the starless sky and wondered how much time I had left.

Heart - Instant death? Shattering it to even more pieces?

Wrists - Bleed to death? Let the pain bleed out of me?

Head - Another instant death? Blow the images and thoughts out of my head?

I had no idea what to choose!!

Instead if choosing, I put my death in the hands of fate. I closed my eyes, tears never stopping, and chose at random. I placed my hand on the object that was going to end my life and opened my eyes.

Handle of the knife. Through the heart, it is.

I picked up the knife and held it a few inches from my heart. I told myself to count to three.

One... Two... Three...

But I couldn't.

DO IT!!! I screamed at myself.

I closed my eyes again and went through my life one more time before I died.

Edward was the best thing that ever happened to me. And now I am nothing.

He thinks I am disposable, just like his expensive clothes.

Use me then throw me away. Love me then leave me.

A new stream of tears rolled down my cheeks and fell on the ground around me.

I took one last breath - my last breath that I will ever take - and screamed, "Three!" I plunged the knife through my heart. It sliced through the skin easily and I could feel it in my heart. I screamed out in pain and fell backwards onto the ground - whacking my head on a log lying on the ground in the process.

A few seconds later and I was still screaming and pretty much alive. Why aren't I dead yet?! I screamed again but this time in failure.

After I lost that last breath from my final scream, the tears stopped and I coughed up blood. This was it. I did it, I could feel the blood around me, on me, and coming out of me.

I tried to smile. I did it. I can finally live in peace. I could feel the darkness and I greeted it happily.

With my last of my breath and the last of my energy I whispered, "Edward... I l-love you..."

Then it all went black

Yees. I am a bitch. I killed BELLA! :o

Sorry Jessie and DC, if you read this!

I was angry and sad last night so I wrote this. Don't blame me, blame my emotions. And blame me cause I wrote it onto FF!

I will now try and write HAPPY one-shots. I don't think anyone would like more sad one... But I don't know.

REVIEW! Like this or hate this? Should I continue writing sad ones or JUST write happy ones?

Review and tell me!

Love Alina