Disclaimer: Legend of the Seeker/Sword of Truth is owned by Terry Goodkind and all the grand high mucky mucks of ABC. No copyright infringement is intended and no money was made from this of course. Any similarity to any other story not my own is coincidence.
Title: My Northern Star
Genre: Legend of the Seeker; Kahlan/Richard
Rating: PG; just for general concepts
Timeline: Immediately after "Fury"
Author's Notes: I was just wondering what Richard might have been thinking about after the events in Fury This is what I came up with...
~Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night~
"You should get some sleep," Kahlan suggested softly, bracing herself on her elbows as she sat up a little from her sleeping roll. She tilted her head slightly in Cara's direction where she stood on watch in the shadow of pines. "Before your turn," she added, taking a moment to notice how the firelight caught at the weary darkness in Richard's autumn colored eyes.
The Mother Confessor sat up completely when the Seeker gave no indication of having even heard her.
Her gaze fell to where he fingered the simple scabbard stretched across his lap, and the Sword of Truth within, secure in its rightful place.
"I nearly killed her today," he said finally, shifting uncomfortably on the fallen log where he was sitting. "And Zedd..."
He turned his gaze to her.
"And you... I could have killed you."
"But you didn't," Kahlan replied softly.
"But I wanted to; for just a moment, I wanted to," Richard countered in a pained voice that echoed with bitter memory. "How could I want that Kahlan, even for an instant, how could I ever want that?"
"It wasn't you, Richard."
"But it was... it is... all that anger, all that rage, it's a part of me, Kahlan. As much as anything else, it's a part of me. The Rahl legacy... in my blood..."
A deep silence fell between them, and for a moment, they both felt suffocated by its weight. Richard ducked his head, avoiding Kahlan's eyes and turning his gaze to the sword stretched across his lap.
"But it's only a small part," the Confessor said finally, her voice almost smothered by the silence, but still strong and determined to be heard. "It's just one small part of who you are, Richard," she insisted. "The smallest part of the man I love."
"How?" Richard asked abruptly, confusing her.
"How can you love me, Kahlan? How can you still love me, after what I've done. Knowing who I am, what I'm capable of..."
"How can you love me?" She countered softly, drawing his surprised eyes back hers. "After everything I've done. Knowing who I am, what I'm capable of..." she echoed. "Very few men would ever dare to truly love a Confessor, Richard. And you've seen the Con Dar..." Kahlan nearly whispered before taking a deep breath, shuddering ever so slightly.
"You ask me how I can love you... it's the same way you can love me, Richard... completely..."
Again, a deep silence fell between them and Richard turned his eyes back to the sword once more.
"Completely..." he finally murmured, tracing the patterns that decorated the sword's scabbard. Suddenly, he looked back down to Kahlan, his eyes darker than she had ever seen them before.
"Kahlan, I want you to Confess me."
"If I ever lose control again. If I ever... if I ever lose myself completely..."
He took a deep breath.
"If the time comes, if that ever happens, I need you to do that for me."
The Seeker met her eyes with a quiet and profound sense of almost resigned determination.
"Richard... you'd be gone... lost..."
"I'd rather lose myself to you... to love... than to the Sword or the blood-lust and rage of the Rahl bloodline," the Seeker declared without hesitation.
Kahlan made no reply as she moved gracefully to kneel before him. Carefully, she took up the Sword in its scabbard and set it aside so that Richard could place a knee to either side of her hips.
She reached up to cradle his face in her hands.
"You'll never be lost... I promise..."
"Kahlan..." he whispered.
Gently, she pulled him down for a soft kiss, breathing her vow into him. And after a moment, Ricard returned a silent one of his own until they finally parted and he rested his forehead against hers.
"You'll never be lost..." Kahlan whispered once more, sliding her hands from his hair and down to rest lightly on his chest, holding his heartbeat in the palm of her hand like another kind of promise.
The Seeker took a deep breath and let it out softly.
"Can you sleep now, Richard? You should get some sleep," the Confessor murmured, pulling back a little and bringing Richard with her, his hands clasped in hers.
He nodded a little and followed without a word as they lay down together on the chilled bedroll. Tenderly, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling Kahlan close, needing to feel her warm and safe in his embrace.
"You're my northern star," he breathed into her ear. "My own northern star..."