warning: OOCness, sugestive themes and crack

I in no way own any characters or one piece


Everyone that's a couple on the Thousand Sunny knew that when it was Robbin's time of the month they had to, pardon my French, smut as much as they can. Why, you ask? Because the last time a PMSing Robbin didn't get her p0rn, Sanji almost lost his swirly eyebrow, Nami lost a slipper, and even Luffy was too afraid to even ask for an extra piece of meat. Yeah, a PMSing Robbin is scary.

And that is how this fanfic started off. With a PMSing Robbin.


Even though it was 11:30 a.m. on the Thousand Sunny and Robbin started to get a bit (hahaha a bit) aggrigated. She needed her gay p0rn to function right as of now. So to save her nakama the unpleasantness of drowning, Robbin went into Ultra-Ninja-Stalker-Mode to get what she needed. She decided to go stalking for some Zolu in a most odd way, with her shoulders up to her ears and her fingers all spidery. Seeing this and being blissfully unaware of what's happening today, Usopp began to copy Robbin's posture and follow her, as if it were a game.

After a while of doing this around the ship, Chopper joined in as well, thinking that this is a fun game also. When the three nakamas got to the bedrooms, Robbin opened each one softly and slowly, just in case someone was doing something. Instead, the first room Robbin, Usopp and Chopper got to was Franky's room. Currently, Franky was drawing this new design for a crayon (Usopp asked for it) and the sharp-shooter squealed in delight after seeing how cool it looked. Franky jerked his head up to the surprising sound and shrieked and said hurriedly,"S-sorry, Robbin-sama. I didn't know you were coming this early."

"It's ok Franky-san. Today I want Zolu. Hmmmm..." At that moment, by the mere thought of Zolu, Robbin, the crazy stalker fangirl, began to indulge in her fantasies about them.

Still trying to kiss up, Franky asked if he could go with them, to which Robbin replied, "Of coarse. The more people, the better the yaoi.. is..." She ended up drooling.


The next door the Ninja-Stalking club (as of now: Robbin, Usopp, Chopper, and Franky) came to was none other then the swirly-brow and the orange-haired bitch. The club president, Robbin, bravely opened the door a bit to find a very pissed off navigator.

"RRRAAAWWWRRRR!! HOW COME THAT BITCH, ROBBIN GETS TO HAVE ALL THE YAOI TODAY WHILE I HAVE TO STAY IN MY ROOM WITH YOU!!!" said Nami.

"Nami-swan, you know very well why. Remember that slipper?" the ero-cook said to try to comfort the raging yaoi-fangirl. Instead, this just made her a hell of a lot angrier.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THAT GOD DAMN SLIPPER! ANYWAY IT WAS A FREAKEN UGLY COLOR!"

"But I gave those to you..." said Sanji, sulking. "Fine... Oh I know! Maybe you can-" The ero-cook never got to finish what he was about to say. Robbin threw the door open to reveal the Ninja-Stalking club, all in a cool pose.

Finishing Sanji's sentence, Robbin exclaimed, "Maybe you can come with us on the search for Zolu p0rns!"

And quite predictably, Nami squealed in the most fangirl way. She jumped up out of her seat, grabbed Sanji and ran out the door.

The Ninja-Stalker club gawked then all proclaimed with their index finger pointing up, "ONWARD!"


In the hallway, the Ninja-Stalker club ran into Brooke.

"AAAAAHHHH! I'm so sorry Robbin-sama, but I cannot fill your fangirl needs.... Because I'm a skeleton!"

This surprised Robbin, so she remained quiet for a few minutes with shock. In this short amount of time, Brooke became more and more worried. He was just going to apologize and get right to work when Robbin said, "It's OK. Anyway, today I want Zolu. Would you like to join the Ninja-Stalker club?" Despite her kind words, her eyes were telling Brooke that if he refused, his hair would come out one by one and all his bones would be broken. Seeing this, Brooke responded quickly and appropriatly, "Yes of course Robbin-sama, I would love to join!"


Finally reaching the last door, Robbin started to get really excited. But, she also wanted to saver the yaoi goodness. For her to be able to do that, the president of the Ninja-Stalker club made an ear appear on the other side of the wall. By some sort of magic, the president also let all the others listen to the hopefully naughty words and sounds like banging. Instead, the Ninja-Stalker club heard a conversation going on, and it went like this:

"ZORO!! Why did you let the white stuff get on me?!"

"Che. That's because you didn't swallow all of it!"

"But Zoro! It was too much!"

"That's not my fault you asked for it!"

"Hrumph! Fine!"

".....You liked it, didn't you?"

"...yes... But I mean, it taste soo good! Can we do this more often? Please!?"

"I would love to Luffy, but you know we can't."

"I know... Oh! When everyone goes onto the next island, can we do this again?"

"Ok, but we have to be very careful no one sees us doing it ok."

"Ok, we'll be really secrative!... Um Zoro.."

"Yes."

"Can we do it again now, please?"

"....Ok, why not?"

And that's when it got to much for Robbin and Nami. They bursted through the door and saw, not hot buttsecks, but Zoro and Luffy sitting Indian-style across from eachother. Luffy's face was covered with whipped cream and a can of whipped cream in Zoro's hand.

"WHAT!?!?" shouted the very disapointed fangirls. "WHY AREN'T YOU TWO SMUTING RIGHT NOW!!??" once again semotaniously.

It was now Sanji's turn to say, "Hey! I was saving that whipped cream for my Nami-swan!"

And after everyone had there complaint, they all left feelin very angry.

"Shishishi! Good cover up Zoro!"

"Yes, yes I know."

"So can we now have our hot, man-on-man, kinky, wall-buttsecks please?!?" Zoro nodded and Luffy jumped on him, already with all his clothes off.

ThE eNd


So how'd you like it? please review with constructive critasizm so i can get better.