Disclaimer : I don't own anything but the mind that took an innocent comment from my grandfather and turned it into a one-shot....thing. XD
Note : This was inspired by watching Transformers with my grandfather, and asking a completely random question/getting a completely random (but expected) answer.
Summary : Why was it, when you see Barricade rushing into the Mission City Battle in Transformers, he suddenly seems to disappear? I didn't once see him at the final battle, did you? Here's a possible reason. Total nonesense, randomness, humor. ONE-SHOT. COMPLETE.
Lyrics, Messages, Texts
"Coffee. You know, caffeine?" I looked at the dash in front of me, feeling slightly annoyed. "It's just a wake me up, really." Seeing Sam grinning out of the corner of my eye, I whacked his arm and shot him a look, even though I felt my own lips trembling. "C'mon Bee, you usually don't throw a fuss." I hated to admit I was resorting to begging, but I hadn't had my coffee yet, and it was a long drive.
Just then, the familiar form of Ratchet's alternate form rode up beside us, and I barely managed to stifle a groan when after a beat of static, his own voice came over Bee's radio systems.
"I told him about the health dangers-"
A low growl cut the medic off, and it took me a moment to realize it was my own. Blinking, I frowned. "Trust me, Ratchet. This is earth. Who knows more about earth customs and necessities?" I raised an eyebrow, crossing my arms over my chest and debating on what kind of fast talking I'd need to do to get him to shut up and take one for the team.
"I do not understand. Medical and scientific studies-"
"Have nothing on us." I cut him off. "They say a lot is bad for us, but if we listened to everything, we'd never be able to live. Ratchet, they say the sun is bad for us." I began counting on my fingers. "Radio waves from cell phones are bad, carbon emissions from cars are bad, too much sleep is bad." I smirked at Sam, who'd taken out a small pad of paper and was keeping a tally of points.
It had said 'Ratchet 1, Mikeala 0'.
Now it said 'Ratchet 1, Mikeala 4. Give it up, buddy, you're not gonna win'.
Seeing that, I couldn't help but laugh, and swatted his arm again, although lightly. Shaking my head, I took a deep breath as we sobered. "Look, it's just one coffee break. I'm not buying out Timmies, and I'm not about to turn into a coffee-hoarding fiend."
"Too late." Came the almost expected, gruff response of Ironhide over the radio systems. "Ratchet, just let them be. Even Will and Epps are on my case about a coffee stop. I believe Will's own words were 'Gimme my Timmies, or I'll strip your sparkplugs myself'."
I laughed again, and felt the Camaro tremble minutely with his own silent laughter as Ratchet huffed silently and disappeared, obviously allowing us our coffee break. As Bumblebee turned off onto a side road, and slowly pulled up to a Tim Hortons, my breath caught at the sight of the front end of a black and white Mustang cruiser. For the briefest of moments, I allowed myself the terrified thought that it was Barricade, and from Sam's glance, he was thinking the same thing.
"Ridiculous." I finally breathed, forcing a laugh. "Barricade was taken out during Mission City."
"Not exactly." Optimus' tone was grim and rumbling. "While he was seen rushing towards Battle, I did not see him actually at the fight."
"So that could be..." I trailed off, my eyes ghosting over the car, even as Bumblebee pulled in next to him. Then my eyes widened. "Oh crap!" The same saying was imprinted on his side, just behind his back door. "It is Barricade!"
Sam stiffened, and I felt his grasp on my arm.
"At ease." He didn't sound pleased, but he also didn't sound worried as the semi pulled up behind the car, parking sideways and taking up 4 parking spots, even as Ironhide parked on one side of him, and Ratchet on the other. "He wouldn't dare try anything with all of us here, and he is not emitting a Decepticon energy signal."
Frowning slightly, I exchanged a glance with Sam, before slowly cimbing out of the car. I paused, doing a double take as my eyes landed on the figure in the driver's seat. "Barricade?!" I felt my jaw drop.
Red tinted black eyes looked up, narrowing, even as a rather muffled hiss sounded from the holographic form's full mouth. "What?" He chewed quickly.
"Uh...nothing...?" I leaned back and turned to give Sam a look as he quickly made his way around the Camaro, blinking and then looking at me with his lips twitching. "You know, I could just see this as a movie. The big fight scene coming, and Barricade's among the others rushing into battle. Then he disappears, and no one wonders what happened until after." Looking around, he began to laugh. "And then a Tim Hortons commercial flashes across the screen, with a cop car parked in the front."
I couldn't help but join him. "Seems donuts are a universal favorite." I snickered, watching as the 'Con hastily brushed at donut crumbs on his black uniform, shooting us a glare.
"Silence, fleshbags, or I'll kill you both right here and now."
"Uh-uh." I glanced around pointedly. "Has jelly filling stuffed your sensors, or something?" I laughed again. "You wouldn't get too far before Optimus stomped you like the bug you are." It really was amazing how brave I felt, knowing we outnumbered the enemy.
"Don't compare me to that insect." The growl was low, even as Barricade's eyes glanced past us to Bee, who trembled in response, either from laughter or anger, I wasn't sure.
"Uh, no. The only insect I see here is the fruit fly scarfing Timbits in his cruiser." I bit my lip as Will popped up next to me, grinning and trembling from the force of his with held laughter. "What happened? You were on your way to battle and saw a Timmie's sign?" I couldn't help it and began to laugh.
I leaned against Sam as Bumblebee played that almost famous clip from Simpsons. "If he keeps this up-" I glanced into the car and saw tons of boxes of donuts, with mostly half eaten pastries inside, and an extra large cappochino sitting next to him. "He'll have the gut to go with it."
"Nuts." I laughed at Bee. "Come on, Sam. Now I really need an ice cap."
The tone had me clinging to my boyfriend for dear life, trying not to fall over as I laughed. It held the perfect amount of hesitation, intrigue, and confusion, all in one. Shaking my head, I clung to both Sam and Will as we all made our way inside, laughing our asses off, and falling over on the store step when we turned to find Bumblebee and Ironhide both visibly shaking from their laughter.
We each took our turn in the line, collecting tons of funny looks from our almost random busting up in laughter. I watched as the soldiers couldn't help but chuckle as they made their orders, shaking their heads with grins that refused to fade. Sam had a little better of a time of it, but still had his lips twitching the entire time. Finally, it came to my turn. As I made my order, I felt the evil smirk cross my features, and paused a moment, before nodding to myself.
"Actually, can you make that two?" I asked as sweetly as I could, forking over the money and then waiting a moment for my order. "Thank you." Grabbing my order, I turned and walked out the door with the others, ignoring their curious looks. I sauntered boldly up to Bumblebee, watching as Barricade's holo-eyes locked on the drinks in my hand with both suspicion and intrigue. Then I leaned into his window, slipping the extra drink into his drink holder. "Merry Christmas." I grinned, patting his shoulder, turning and climbing into Bumblebee.
While it wasn't actually Christmas, the sentiment was the same.
I ignored the threatening growl behind me, and the confused texts Will and Epps sent me, questioning my sanity. It was Sam's shocked and utter disbelieving look that got me laughing as we pulled back onto the highway.
"What?" I shrugged, taking a drink and taking a moment to enjoy it before laughing again. "I thought I'd feed his addiction." A look back had me laughing again as I spotted Barricade lifting the drink to his lips, and then lowering it suddenly as he grasped at his forehead. "Oh, I probably shoulda warned him to drink it slow though. Brain freeze." I winced as Sam began laughing, turning forward and stirring the straw in my drink. "Ouch. My bad."
Hope you like it.