Unfair

Author – D M Evans

Disclaimer- things would be less unkind to them if they were mine…oh wait, probably not.

Rating – FRT

Character - Roy

Series – Manga

Spoilers – Massive spoilers for ch 102

Word Count - 553

Author's note –thanks to SJ Smith for the beta. I have to get my author's platform (such as I can do on my own) and grading done by the end of the week so I wasn't going to do this prompt. Then I saw the latest chapter so once again, in spite of using something terribly spoilery, this came boiling out. This was written for fma_fic_contest's 'stream of consciousness' prompt and it tied for second.

There is always inequity in life. Some men are killed in a war and some men are wounded, and some men never leave the country…It's very hard in military or in personal life to assure complete equality. Life is unfair. – John F. Kennedy

* * *

This can't be happening. It's unfair. No, no no, it's a cruel joke; cruel truth, a strange voice said. What truth could this be? I hadn't seen any truths. This isn't my fault. I didn't open the Gate, damn it. I didn't.

I keep trying but there's nothing. Not a speck of light. I hear our voices echoing. I can tell where ever I am is vast but the only thing I have in my mind is Bradley standing over me, his blood dripping. No, damn it, no. The last thing I ever seen can not be his smug face.

My eyes, they don't hurt. I marvel at that. I know what the brothers lost. Ed's rough hands searched me for what the Gate claimed from me. I thought I was in a cave, deep where light can not go. I still don't want to believe I'm not. Ed is lying but I know…oh god.

My hands ache. I smell the stomach-churning scent of blood on them. My hands barely move, my fingers not entirely under my control. The bastard must have cut a tendon or two but it's enough for me to feel my face. My eyes are still there. I can form thoughts and actions so the part of my brain that interprets sight must be intact; you can't just pull that ability out without damaging the rest. The nerves are gone. Damn nerves, they can be fixed. I know they can. It has to be possible. Been researching it to help Havoc but how can I finish my research when I can't fucking see?

This is not fair. I didn't want to open the gate. I didn't pick the sacrifice. I did nothing more than lie there, pinned by two homunculi while my hands bled. Pride did most of the work. Why do I have to pay his fare? He should be the one blinded. Gate of Truth? If that were the case, it doesn't know all the truth or I would still be able to see and that homunculus would have been pulled apart. I resisted opening the gate, wouldn't do it to save Riza nor to bring back Maes. Why would I have to pay in spite of this?

I can't stop touching my eyes, even as I feel my blood smearing on my face from tortured hands. I barely even flinch when strange arms move around me. I don't know this woman, not her touch, not her smell. Her body is hard in some places, very soft in others. She provides an anchor in this black, empty space. I don't hear Riza. Was she alone with Scar and Bradley? How bizarre is it that I feel comfortable that an Ishbalan will protect her in her wounded state? This woman isn't Riza but I'm grateful for her touch. I will never see Riza's beautiful face again. A shudder tears through me then I collect myself, difficult as it is.

Abandoned as a baby, my life has always been unfair but I survive. My mother, spy that she is, will still find a use for a blind son. I am getting out of here. Pride thinks I'm useless now. I whisper to the woman holding me. My eyes are blind but they are not the only eyes in the room.