Maybe she should have hated him. Hang on. No. She did hate him. But there was something else, too. Something she hadn't a word for yet.
It had been her father's choice, she knew that, rationally she knew that, logically, she did not want to believe that her father would do that, would give up her for… that.
But the man – Rush – was right, all people were valuable as human beings, and, as a human being, her father had made his choice, a big-picture choice, his favourite type of choice; the sort of choice that made him proud to have gotten where he had, to have had the chance to help, in however big or small a way he could, because every little bit helped.
Rationally, she ought to have accepted that though he'd had to leave her, to leave behind this life – his own life – he'd done it doing what he believed in, he'd gone out fighting the good fight. Logically, she could not get over her loss, she could not give up being pissed, and she directed that raw anger at the one person who was left to take it.
She just wanted her dad back.
She didn't care if they died in each other's arms, holding hands. Damn it, they'd have gone together.
But Rush had put that crazy idea into her father's head, and he'd seized upon it as a last salvation, a dying wish – he could help.
God, she hated Rush!
But she had to be with him sometimes, too. Just hold him. She needed to be held, too.
It could have been anyone; it could have been Eli; it could have been that well-meaning but abrasive military man with the short-cut hair, the one her rather had thought rude, disrespectful.
But that wasn't how it worked out.
Instead, it was the enemy.
Maybe she needed to know that she still hated him, maybe she needed to know that her father still lived on through her, and, the day that anger died, would be the day her father finally died. Maybe she wasn't ready to let go yet.
She held Rush tighter and closed her eyes.
I've seen nothing but the first, movie-length episode.
** I don't own SGU and make no profit from the writing of this fan fiction. **