Comments: This is a bit of a trial, not sure if this one will work or not. It is not finished please let me know what you think?
Out of dark times there is always hope.
Today was a very hard day for Gwen, it was two years since her father died and with Morgana gone she has felt his loss even more.
Gwen had been working as a servant elsewhere in Camelot since Morgana's disappearance. If she was to be honest she had become numb each day seeming the same and then the lonely nights, she could hardly bare it.
She had taken the day off so she could visit her fathers grave. Arthur had made sure that Tom had received a proper burial, unlike the fate Uther had planned for him, she shivered at the thought. He had arranged everything himself and she was grateful for that.
She woke up at sunrise and made her way to her fathers grave with his favourite flowers in her hand. Last year she had gone to his grave and told him of everything that had happened to her, this year she had a lot more to say.
When she arrived at his grave she found some flowers there, a beauitful red bunch of flowers gently placed on the grave stone. Gwen sighed, she did not know anyone else would visit there, she did not have any other family, but she was pleased that someone else had thought about her father. She placed her own bunch of flowers next to them and knelt down and said a silent prey for him.
Arthur had risen very early dressed himself (much to Merlin's surprise) and headed out to Tom's grave. He knew this was a difficult time for Gwen and especially now the Morgana was no longer there to support her. He placed the flowers on the grave and prayed, he was disturbed by the sound of approaching footsteps and made his way behinds some trees. It was Guinevere, he sighed and watched her placing the flowers down. He wanted to go to her to support her but he somehow felt like this was a moment for her alone.
Guinevere had been right he should have done more to save Tom, he shivered at how many lives his father had destroyed. He hated what had been done to Guinevere and he hated himself more for allowing it.
Gwen started talking.
"I have missed you father, each day seems to be getting harder" she said with a sigh.
Her father always encouraged her to be strong so she took a deep breath and continued talking.
Arthur was Lent against a tree near by listening, he knew he shouldn't be he could not seem to move like he was frozen on the spot, listening to her words.
"The last year has.... um well been interesting" she took a deep breath. She never kept anything from her father, so she continued.
"I think I will start from the beginning, I got kidnapped, well Lady Morgana did and I was dressed like her, that's a long story so I wont go into that" she bit her lip as if thinking what to say.
"I got rescued twice, once by Lancelot, I told you about him before and then we both got rescued by Prince Arthur" at this she thought about Arthur saving her. "And that was interesting, but I am safe and well" she sighed and continue on.
"Morgana has gone, taken by a sorceress" she said holding back the tears. "But I can't shake the feeling that she is well father and that I will see her again, that is what keeps me going" she said honestly. "And I am still working at the castle for now"
She paused for a long time thinking about how to approach the next subject, she knew it seemed silly but somehow she knew her Father was with her.
"Remember how you used to say to me 'The castle is for fairy tales Gwen, for Kings and Queens and Princess and Princes' and 'that people like us are not in fairy tales!' " she took a deep breath and continued.
"All those times my friends used to dream of living in the castle, I never did" she almost chocked on the words. "Until now" she brushed the front of her dress.
"I am afraid that I lost myself in the fairytale a couple of times" she thought of kissing Arthur.
"Well the servant has fallen in love with the Prince" she half laughed, she had never said it out loud before and it felt like a huge relief.
"But don't worry I know that Fairy tales are not meant for me, and that he will meet his Princess and order shall be restored" she bit her lip holding back the tears.
"My heart has been filled with such loss and such joy over the last year, that I am not sure I can see straight anymore Father, I need your guidance" she said twisting her fingers together.
"I am alone and I know I should walk away and leave Camelot, but I can't seem to find the strength, there is nothing holding me here anymore". she took a deep breath and continued.
"I know Merlin and Gauis would miss me and maybe even Arthur a little, although I am sure it will not burden him for long" she said with a heavy heart. She knew Arthur cared for her maybe even loved her, but not enough for her absence to be a constant burden on him.
Arthur still listened but a single tear had dropped down his cheek. He wanted to run to her to tell her that he didn't want to be in the fairytale unless she was by his side. And tell her that if she left it would not be a short burden but a gaping hole in his heart, that would not heal, but he could not move.
Gwen continued on.
"But half of me wants to see Arthur become King" she took a deep breath. "I know he will make a great king, he will be a fair and kind king. I have seem him grow so much Father he was not the man you used to know. The arrogance has washed away and humility replaced it. You would be so proud of him, as we all are"
"One day father Camelot will become a place of peace again, where the people are happy and proud of their sovereign, rather than fear him" she sighed at this.
"So my question to you father is do I stay and keep my heart locked away to save hurt, or do I go and open my heart again for love with someone more obtainable?".
She sighed she did not really want to go, but she felt if she stayed she could not bare to watch Arthur fall in love and marry someone else. The air started to get a little chilly and she wrapped her cloak a little closer to her body.
Arthur couldn't bare to listen to this anymore, he would give Guinevere a reason to stay and he would make her see how much he loved her. I will not lose her. He silently left he alone to her thoughts.
Gwen gently stood. "Well I will wait for your sign" she said sighing.
"I will visit more often, but my thoughts are with you each day" she left.
She quietly made her way back to the castle.
---- Possibly to be continued------- please let me know what you think I know its a little bit dark.