This is my very first fanfic. Don't expect this to be the best story you've ever read. I am a fair writer, or so I've been told, so I hope this won't be a horrible story. I am simply not experienced with this sort of thing. Anyway, I have just a few pointers. First of all, I am starting with the scene in New Moon after she gets back with Edward and Alice from Volterra, and she is in bed. To support my new and improved version of it, I have changed a few past circumstances. Bella did want to save Edward, and she did willingly go to save him, but she didn't really have the same feelings for him as before. (I.E.- Jacob had more of an effect on her heart.) Second, I know that the actual dialogue from New Moon is not perfectly quoted whatsoever, and the conversation was way too short. Part of this was because of copyright infringement, another was the fact that I was too lazy to walk to my bookshelf and take out my beaten up copy of New Moon to check, and I also wanted to hurry and get to the good parts with a certain teenage werewolf. Either way, you'll catch on. I hope you enjoy this fanfic, especially my fellow team Jacob fans. I love you and we all know that Jacob rocks! XOXO
-Chapter 23, roughly page 500-501, NEW MOON-
I awoke with a jolt. Such horrible dreams I had had the night before… The night before! All of the memories came rushing back to me with a burst of realization. By now he would be gone. The hole burned a little at the sides as wave of sadness rushed over me. Sure, I didn't necessarily have romantic feelings for him anymore, but it still hurt to think of losing him.
But then I began to feel cold hands on me.
"Mmm?" I murmured, confused.
"Are you awake?" Edward's soft voice whispered at me.
"Edward!" I yelled too loud.
"Shh! Yes, it's me,"
"How long have I been asleep?"
"About fourteen hours,"
"Wow. Why haven't you… gone yet?" I whispered the last two words very quietly.
"What do you mean?"
"Look, I know you feel guilty about everything that's happened in the past few months, but it doesn't mean you have to hang around and wait for me to get over it. I'm managing now. I can let you go,"
"Bella, you don't have to let me go. I'm not leaving you again,"
"You heard me. I only left you to protect you. What happened with Jasper doesn't matter. I love you and I'm going to stay here,"
I remained silent. This was not what I expected him to say. In a way, I didn't really want him to say it. Now I was forced to make a choice. Did our past love mean nothing now? Or was it really even love? Did all of the pain and sorrow rip through my heart after he left because he just had the body of a god? A vampire's trance? Was my personal sun the only thing that broke the evil spell? Why had it taken me so long to realize this? Was it just because I was so deep under the trance that I didn't even consider it? Really consider it? This was fascination. It was the outer beauty I loved, not the inner.
I knew what this meant. It meant that, not only was I a ridiculous human who was really ignorant enough to believe that I actually loved him. That it was not beauty that kept me tied to him. It meant that real love had been staring me in the face all along. I was just too deeply succumbed to realize it. It also meant that I had to end this. I had to end this here and now before it got too far.
I knew it would hurt him. I felt horrible about it. He had actually loved me for who I was. That was something I could never repay him for. I would just have to accept that. I took a deep breath and stared him straight in the eyes. I felt no love for him, I could tell. Telling him goodbye was really going to suck, but I had to do it. I had to, so maybe I could keep my personal sun, and maybe, just maybe, let myself be held to its gravity forever. But I had to break away from Pluto. I had to stop being a Satellite, then grow, and release myself from the seductive pull of the tiny, cold, distant planet. This would not be easy.
My pondering of this lasted several seconds, maybe even minutes. Finally it became too much for Edward. He looked at me nervously, and said, "What is it? Am I too late?"
I swallowed hard. "Yes," I told him in a broken whisper.
He looked down. He tried to hide the pain in his eyes, but even he couldn't cover it up completely.
"That seems… more than fair. I will not bother you again," He slowly sat up, and pulled me up with him. Still not completely hiding his agony, he held out his hand.
That was when the tears began to spill over. I pulled him in a full-blown hug. Then I whispered quietly in his ear, "I will always love you, just not in the same way. Never forget that,"
"I won't. I'll hold on to it as long as I live," he promised solemnly. And with that, my vampire disappeared forever.