AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: AU fic set during season 5. Spike bashing fic. Not for Spike fans. You've been warned! I like James Marsters as an actor, but I've been hating on Spike lately.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the vampire slayer or the show's characters. They belong to Joss Whedon and other companies.

REVIEWS: Begging for them!!

RATED: PG-13 for language and content

SUMMARY: Harmony catches Spike cheating on her with a picture of Buffy, and then disaster begins for Spike.


Spike grinned and pranced around his quarters. He loved this room, where he could be alone and dance around with a picture of Buffy that he'd had since he last ransacked Buffy's room.

"I'm looking good tonight, don't you think babe?" Spike asked, smiling at the picture of Buffy. He raised his voice in a bad imitation of Buffy's, "Oh Spike! Of course!! I love you! I love you oh!"

Upstairs, Harmony was listening to a conversation Spike was seemingly having with himself. She had to check it out. She marched up the stairs, only to see Spike make out with that picture of Buffy that he had for over three weeks.


Spike was startled as he looked up at Harmony, "Harmony. This isn't what it looks like!"

"It is so what it looks like!" Harmony snapped. She took a step back and prepared to exit the crypt, "And you know something?"

"What? Don't say we're over, Harm." Spike begged.

"Not yet." Harmony said, "But I'll kick your ass."

She stormed out of the room. Spike looked around, realizing he was in deep trouble now, "Oh bugger. I'm done for."

Thinking about what Harmony had told him, Spike said, "Mommy. I'm scared."

Then Spike sucked his thumb.


Spike was listening absentmindedly to the radio, deciding that Harmony had probably dumped him, otherwise she'd be back by now.

"And now a dedication," said the DJ on the radio, "To a guy named Spike from his girlfriend. Apparently, she is telling you that it's over."

"Go figure." Spike sighed.

Spike, oh Spike
Spike I used to love ya
But now I gotta tell you this
You stupid ignorant cheater
I hate you
And so does Buffy
And Xander
And Anya
And Giles
And Willow
And Tara
And Riley
And even little Dawnie
So I say you are a loser
I say to you Spike
Spike go away
Spike go away
That'll make my day

"Ah bugger," Spike went, "NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!!" Spike threw a little tantrum.

Spike paced around the room. He wondered if Harmony had gotten in contact with any of the Scoobies. If so, he was doomed.

Spike heard a loud bang on the door. Hoping it was Harmony, he stood up as the door was flung open. In the doorway stood Harmony, Buffy, Giles, Xander, Riley and Willow. Anya was at the Summers House with Tara, and Buffy's mom, Joyce watching over Dawn.

"Harmony baby!" Spike begged, "What the bloody hell is this?"

"Don't Harmony baby me!" Harmony snapped, "I hired these people to take you down once and for all!"

Harmony looked at Xander and then ordered, "Start."

Before Spike could react, Xander had thrown himself through the doorway, driving his fist straight into Spike's face. He looked down at Spike, saying, "I have been waiting forever for you to go down. You know I never liked you."

Xander kicked Spike in the face and smirked, glad to finally be inflicting pain on the vampire. As Xander returned to Harmony's side, Spike rose up and prepared to fight Harmony and her new "lackeys."

"WILLOW!" Harmony yelled. Willow positioned herself, ready to cast her spell. Riley approached Spike and kicked him right where it hurts. Spike cried out in pain.

"Everyone is ganging up on me! Why?!"

"What do you expect?" Riley chided, "You cheated on your girlfriend and now you have nobody. You think you're gonna steal Buffy from me, you better think twice."

Riley kicked Spike directly in the face.

Spike got up slowly, feeling the blood pulsing from his nose. "Oh bollocks."

Giles grabbed Spike by the throat. He lifted him up and tossed him back to the ground. It was a simple but effective attack for Giles. Spike rose up again, angry. He didn't know why he continued to get up when he was obviously going to be thrown down again. He felt his anger swell, the need to maim or kill everyone in the area was growing.

"Hold mine victim! Black as tar!" Willow yelled out. Spike was trapped in a barrier of some sort. He tried to move, but found it a lot harder than moving should ever be.

"I OWE YOU PAIN!" Willow continued her spell. Lightning flew from her fingertips, attacking Spike, causing him to scream in pain. Spike dropped to his knees, yelling, "Please! I can't kill anymore thanks to the bloody chip in my head! Let me go! I'm sorry!"

Willow looked down at Spike, "You tried to kill me when you first had the chip. You think I'd let you get away with attempted murder?"

Spike gulped.

"FREEZE IN POSTION!" Willow ordered. A bright green light came from her hands, making Spike fall on his back, thudding to the floor. Spike was paralyzed, feeling frozen in time as everyone continued to move around him.

Buffy was ready to attack. She started beating the living crap out of Spike. Buffy got out her stake, and prepared to stab Spike in the chest with it. She paused for a second and said, "I'm not gonna stake you."

Everyone looked at Buffy, wondering what she was doing. Spike whimpered. Buffy held the stake out to Harmony.

"I'm gonna let Harmony stake you." Buffy announced.
"My pleasure!" Harmony replied. She skipped toward Spike, grinning with pleasure.

"You sided with them all this time!" Spike cried out, "How could I have been so blind? I swear to all that..."

"Really? Well..." Harmony started. She rose the stake up high and thrust it down, hitting Spike clear through the heart. She watched as he dusted. Harmony squealed and clapped her hands happily.

"Good work." Willow commented, "I can't wait to tell Tara and Dawn!"

"And I can't wait to tell Anya that you staked Spike." Xander added, "He had it coming."

As everyone spoke excitedly about their victory, Buffy approached Riley, smiling.

"Say Riley, you wanna go out on a date with me tomorrow night? You know, to celebrate?" Buffy asked.

"Sure," Riley answered, "With Spike finally out of the picture, You don't have to worry about any creepy stalkers on dates."

"You got that right." Buffy replied. Buffy and Riley kissed.

Buffy, Riley, Willow, Giles and Xander all went home, ready to tell Joyce, Dawn, Anya and Tara the wonderful news.