Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or its characters which you already know..
This is my first fanfiction ever so please no lude comments. Constructive criticism is accepted. This story picks up from the moment in New Moon when Jacob was with Bella in the kitchen and everything goes accordingly to New Moon except that the phone call from Edward and when Alice comes to tell Bella about Edwards intention on suicide thing was a bit late (Pg 410 411 from New Moon). The words bolded are from the book "new moon"
Chapter 1 Entrance To My Heart
"I don't like the way things are."Jacob freed one arm so he could cup his big russet hand under my chin and make me look at him.
"Yeah. It was easier when we were both human, wasn't it? " Jacob said quietly.I sighed.
We stared at each other for a long moment. His hand smoldered against my skin. I knew that my face showed my wistful sadness. I didn't want to have to say good bye now, no matter for how short of a time. At first his face reflected mine, but then his expression changed.
He released me, lifting his other hand to brush his fingertips along my cheek, trailing them down to my jaw. I could feel his fingers tremble not with anger this time. He pressed his palm against my cheek, so that my face was trapped between his burning hands.
"Bella," he whispered.
I was frozen. No! I had not made this decision yet. I 'm running out of time to think. I would have been a fool, if I thought rejecting him now wouldn't have consequences. I stared back at him. His face was familiar. He was not my Jacob, but he could be. In so many ways, I did love him. He was my comfort, my safe harbor. Right now, I could choose to keep him mine.
Alice was back for the moment but that changed nothing. True love was forever lost. The prince was never coming back to kiss me awake from my enchanted sleep. I was not a princess after all. Maybe it would be easy ... like holding his hand or have his arms around me. Maybe it would feel nice. Maybe it wouldn't feel like a betrayal.
Besides, who was I betraying anyway? Just myself. Yes...I couldn't love him back, like I used to love Edward. No one can take the place Edward held in my heart; he was my everything, my significant other but... He wasn't coming back. Was I prepared to sacrifice my life for the one who left me, or should I move on with the one that brought me back to life? Was I ready to face any of these?
Keeping his eyes on mine, Jacob began to bend his face towards me, and I was still undecided but the hourglass has a mind of it's own. My thoughts started to drift away as I tried to decide what's best for me.. for now atleast. I still had so many more things to figure out.
The more I try to figure out, the more my memories of the day he left came to the forefront of my brain. Even though it was just a memory, a past, it felt so real. The pain was just too much to bear, it was suffocating. It's as if the air around vanished but then suddenly everything stopped. As if time itself stopped.
You know how people talk about their worlds?
Like: "The moment i laid my eyes on her, i knew she was the one for me" Or "My life was never the same, after I heard the news." If i would i have to pint point the moment my world tilted, i would definately say that it stopped turning for a second when I got to know that both of most important men in my life are enemies for life. And then it stalled out when Edward left me in the woods. But now, right this instant, time actually did stop.
I swear i couldn't feel my heart beating all of sudden, there was a rush of electricity in my body and it was pulling me closer to something by the minute.
I was determined to find out what was going on and so I opened my eyes. And I saw Jacob's warm lips pressed firmly against mine. His arms snaked down around my waist, pulling me ever so tightly against his warm body.
I began to feel dizzy with the heat against me. It didn't help that my thoughts were being smashed together. I couldn't think straight while he was kissing me.
His tongue was asking permission to enter my mouth. I tried my very best to resist all that was happening. I know very well where this was going to lead to in the end. But, was I ready to face the consequences? What if he comes back for me?
His words continues to echoe in my mind
"I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."
He wants me to go on with my life without him, after all that happened between us. I was so willing to become one of them. I begged him to change me.
"Don't worry. You're human—your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."
What was that supposed to mean? Time heals all wounds? For the last 4 months I was a zombie. This was most certainly not healing, not until I got involved with Jake. He changed me bit by bit, when I was around him thoughts of Edward never passed through my mind. Charlie was right when he said, ever since I started hanging around Jacob I improved but...
"He's a year younger than her, and I know she used to think him as a friend, but I think maybe it's something more now, or headed in that direction "
That part I couldn't quite agree with Charlie but what if maybe if it is for the best after all.
His touch sent shivers down my spine. He made me so weak when he started kissing my collarbone. I never imagined sharing this experience with anyone except Edward but back when we were still together we couldn't do much rather just a simple chaste kiss.
Now, I kissed Jacob Black with all the passion I could muster within me. Maybe Juliet should have chosen Paris. Maybe he could have given her a better life.
"Be happy"Those words sank deep in my chest.
How could he do this to me? What did I do to deserve what he did to me? A lot of these questions have gone through my thoughts for the better part of the last few months but until now I couldn't seem to find the answer. Maybe these were questions that didn't have any answers but right now I needed to make a decision.
As hard as it is for me to even try to imagine Jacob in every scene that i have stored for Edward. Maybe it's time now. Just like how Renee did with Charlie. Maybe just maybe .. It's time for me to choose too.
And I chose him, the one that brought me back to life, my personal sun. In that very moment, I gave him entrance to my mouth and also and entrance to my heart as well. And from that very moment I knew Jacob Black was going to be more than just my best friend. A few moments after his tongue evaded mine, we fought for dominance. I was leading him to my room.
Just after we entered my room he pinned me against the wall and he started to trail kisses down my neck where he started nibbling slightly. I closed my eyes and tried to feel him. As soon as I opened my eyes, I realized Jacob was on top of me on my bed. He pressed our bodies closer, and I released a moan. His kisses grew hot.
I was starting to pant as he got to my collarbone. I felt him licked it and it sent shivers to my body. He started undressing me as his hands ran gently over my sides, and as his legs tangled back into mine. His lips ran down my neck as his hands lifted my shirt and inched towards me.
I looked in his eyes and I no longer saw my Jacob that was my comforting friend. I saw lust in his eyes. My chest pushed my breath heavily through my lips and I couldn't take it anymore.
I tried to think straight but I couldn't so I decided to stop before this carried on too far.
"Jake...i think we should…." I stopped midsentence when it happened. I felt pain as well pleasure, but soon it was all over. I lost my virginity to Jacob. I saw Jacob staring at me.
His lips were moving "Bells, I love you. I know you don't see me the same way as you see him but please give me a chance. I showed you how much I want you. How I much I love you. how much I need you. I want to spend rest of my life with you and only you. Please understand that you're my life. There's nobody else for me other than you. I hope things change after this." Jacob sighed.
I know he's sad and he has the right to be so. I felt bad for making him feel that way, it was unfair of me. Maybe it's about time, I gave jacob his happiness and just see what's instore for me as well in this newly formed relationship.
I gave him a chance, I gave him something that i held on so precious, that even now when I think about what i had just done, i'm suprised. I can't believe that it actually happen, i always thought it would have been awkward since even kissing was a problem at times with Edward.
I'm suprised that it went smoothly,it was as if it was meant to be. It felt beautiful giving him my virtue. Eventhough i didn't plan on doing so, i didnt regret abit.
I gave him, something I held and kept for Edward. I felt like I betrayed Edward but when I think again but no. He is not, he left and he isn't coming back.I wanted this as much as jacob did, eventhough i tried to deny myself of that fact,as well as instigated a bit of it. His face changed when he saw me smile.
"Jake, I wanted you just as much as you wanted me. Can't you see I gave myself to you. I have finally opened my heart for you!" I explained right before he pulled me to into a bear hug.
"Bells, there's something I want to say to you"Jacob said suddenly.
I replied "go on". He took a deep breath and said, "Bells when we were ...erm..." Was Jacob Black blushing? "well I kind of im..."
( Ring. Ring..)
Who could be calling now? Jacob reached over me to get the receiver.