A/N: So, here it is, the sequal to Alex Rider Meet Artemis Fowl Your New Psychiatrist. For my new readers, if you haven't read the first one, I'm not so sure you'll be able to follow in this one, just so you know. As always, this fic is beta'd by the lovely Eleni_pixie. Also, I'm not to fond of this title, so if anyone has any ideas, feel free to give them. I'm open to suggestions on this one.


Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The annoying beeping of the EKG was, quite honestly, beginning to drive Alex Rider crazy. It wasn't that he'd been listening to it for hours – he hadn't – or that the infernal noise had finally awoken him – it hadn't. No, it was simply that the noise told everything Alex did not want to know; he was in the hospital (again), and he was severely wounded (again).

The noise was suddenly drowned out by a few distant voices. Alex opened one eye and gazed blearily around the empty, white room. The voices became distinguishable and loud. Very loud. Mrs. Jones and Artemis Fowl were not happy.

"Oh, believe me, Mr. Fowl" Mrs. Jones's disembodied voice snapped venomously (Alex assumed that Butler was not by his young charges side. Mrs. Jones would have to be deranged to speak that way to the young genius with his hulking man-mountain guardian behind him), "we will be looking into this. We sent him to you to cure him –"

"And to spy on me" Artemis's voice was deadly quiet.

Mrs. Jones paused. "Well, yes. Now look what happened! He's in the hospital! You tried to kill him when you found out he was spying for us. I can assure you, Fowl, that you will be facing charges!" Her voice grew louder suddenly. Alex guessed that Artemis had tried to interrupt her again.

"I'm taking Alex back to England with me when he awakens. Expect a lawsuit on your desk first thing Monday morning."

"Madam" Artemis said coldly, "this whole argument is preposterous and a waste of time. I've known since the beginning that Alex was told to spy on me. You spoke to him merely three weeks ago and he told you he found nothing. Why would I kill him only to bring him to the hospital to be saved? More so," his voice also rose minutely, "I consider Alex to be a dear friend. I would never do anything to harm him."

"The fact still remains, Mr. Fowl, that these are very suspicious circumstances. There will be an investigation and, friendship or no, Alex will be as far away from you as possible."

There was a pause. "That decision should lie with Alex, Mrs. Jones. He is a very smart, young man and is more than capable of making that choice himself. If he wishes to leave, I will not stop him. If he wishes to stay, you will not be able to take him."

"Is that a threat?"

Artemis sounded affronted when he next spoke. "Madam, do I look like a boy capable of threatening, or carrying out a threat, to any intelligence agency?"

Mrs. Jones didn't answer and Alex snorted to himself. Artemis looked like the type of boy who was capable of doing whatever he pleased. Hell, Artemis was the type of boy capable of doing whatever he pleased.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, Mrs. Jones, I'd like to check on Alex."

"You are not going in there alone." Alex wrinkled his nose, unsure of whether he should feel touched or offended by Mrs. Jones concern for him.

"You are more then welcome to join me." Artemis quipped. Again, Mrs. Jones said nothing.

Two seconds later, the pair entered the room. Artemis's brow was furrowed slightly, but the angry expression vanished when the pale boy realized his friend was awake.

"You're awake." Mrs. Jones announced unnecessarily.

"How do you feel?"

Alex paused, taking stock. "Numb, but I'm really not complaining."

"We were just talking about you." Mrs. Jones said, smiling.

Alex nodded. "Yes, I heard."

"Then you know Mrs. Jones wished you to return to England." Artemis said bluntly.

"But the choice is yours, Alex." She cut in.

Alex paused again, unsure of how to phrase his answer. There was more as stake here then friendship. "Something, or someone, is attacking me." He said slowly. "They very nearly killed me." He looked up at Mrs. Jones. "But that wasn't Artemis's fault. I want to stay. For one, Artemis is probably the only one who can figure all this out: that's why you sent him to me in the first place. Secondly, who ever is doing this is bound to find out I'm alive and come after me again. I don't want this thing anywhere near Jack."

Artemis tried --and failed-- to suppress a smirk. Mrs. Jones's look turned sour.

"Alright." She said grudgingly. "Alright, you can stay. But the second this is over, I want you in my office." She turned on her heel and, with one last contemptuous glare at Artemis, left.

Alex looked over at his friend. "What the bloody hell happened to me?"

Artemis winced, looking slightly guilty. "Oh. Well--"

"Sorry, Sir." A plump nurse interrupted, shoving her head into the room. "Mr. Rider needs his rest. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Artemis nodded, looking relieved. "We can talk later." He gave a small smile, and was gone.

"I'm not tired." Alex said stubbornly.

The nurse sighed. "I figured." She pulled a syringe out of her pocket. "So I came prepared." She shoved the needle into the I.V. Within seconds, Alex was fast asleep.