AN: I own nothing related to Haruhi Suzumiya, regrettably.
My walk to school made me reconsider the worst part of the journey: not the hill but the entire thing, the extra exertion required to climb being negligible compared to how it was before. The journey, ultimately, was a nightmare. Apart from having to keep myself to an appropriate pace – the brief period I went as fast as I could resulted in my waiting a minute for Ryoko and Nagato to catch up – the wind was biting, far more than it should have been, the little sun was blinding and the cold felt like it was absolute zero.
How can people cope with this sort of feeling? Because of the reflectivity of snow one gets all the negative weather effects I was experiencing in the Arctic or Antarctic circles. It can only be surmised that they learned to endure it – something I would have to do.
Just as I felt that I could ignore the weather, if not the scratchiness of my uniform, things got worse. School was too hot and everyone in it too noisy. It felt more like standing in a huge crowd than a nearly empty classroom. Something I had never noticed before also became too apparent: how humans smell. Under deodorant and cheap perfume was a similar smell. Despite its resemblance to sweat, it still made my mouth water.
That was with the classroom nearly empty.
Things only got worse. When Haruhi arrived I was trying to find something – anything – to do to take my mind off of all of the potential meals around me. When homeroom started I was intensely focused on trying to draw a tree near the window. I wasn't very good at it but it was a welcome distraction, as were the lessons themselves. They still weren't distracting enough to prevent brief daydreams about tasting the blood all around me.
When lunch came I left the room before Haruhi could accost me, hoping to find somewhere with less people. I needn't have bothered worrying about Haruhi as she headed straight for Ryoko without giving me a single glance.
Koizumi, Nagato and Asahina-san were all in the clubroom when I got there, giving the eerie impression they had known I would be there, which was further consolidated when Asahina-san handed me an opaque bottle, unsurprisingly telling me that it was from Tsuruya-san. The relieved look on her face when she handed it over made it clear that she knew what was inside.
"Nagato-san told me the reasons for your absence yesterday. I must say that I did not expect anything like that to happen to you, or even that such things were possible. However, that is not why I am here. Can I please look at your mouth?" Koizumi said, smiling as ever. I hoped that my absence had increased his workload.
"Hmm… interesting. How are you going to explain those fangs to Suzumiya-san? She will be sure to notice sooner or later." The esper commented from a position far too close to my mouth.
Get away from there! I didn't say you could look! A lack of refusal does not equal consent, as you should know! You're not Haruhi!
"Be that as it may, you still have to find a way to explain those to Suzumiya-san. Unless you can hide them somehow, that is." He said as he backed away, finally showing some consideration.
"Umm… I think Tsuruya-san once mentioned that new vampires can retract their fangs for one month, after which they're either permanently showing or hidden. At that time they can change their vision to see heat, I think." Asahina-san interjected helpfully, saying more than I had heard her say since I had become a girl.
"Correct." Nagato added, not looking up from her book.
Any idea how I'm supposed to do that?
"I'm sorry but I don't."
I guess I'll just have to try and work it out myself.
Five minutes later, after various attempts involving pushing my teeth (which hurt and achieved nothing) and trying to control something I had never had any direct control over, I succeeded and started to eat my lunch whilst Koizumi began to go into a long monologue about something or other. I think it was about the definition of human, possibly to make sure that I wasn't worried about my lost humanity.
"Therefore, whilst you aren't human in a biological sense you are still completely human in a mental sense." Koizumi concluded.
You didn't need to go through that long debate to tell me something I already knew.
"I appreciate how you listened regardless, it's an admirable ability. I'm sure Suzumiya-san appreciates your willingness to listen to everything."
Even you should realise that it's easier to listen than not listen. Now am I going to get chance to finish my lunch?
"Sorry if I was distracting you. I should go get something to eat myself, actually." Koizumi replied, exiting the clubroom and leaving me alone with Asahina-san and Nagato.
Since I had finished eating I started drinking from the bottle Asahina-san had given me. The taste made me wonder why I hadn't found any of the other brigade members (except possibly Haruhi) appetising. Asahina-san smelled strongly of something inedible – Tsuruya-san? – which masked what she really smelled like and Nagato seemed to have a different physiology to humans. That did nothing to explain why Koizumi didn't seem like a potential meal, unless his irritating personality made considering drinking his blood abhorrent.
As I rose to head back to class Asahina-san stopped me, warning me that there were bloodstains around my mouth and taking the bottle back. I thanked her and stopped to wash the bloodstains around my mouth off before heading towards my classroom. Along the way Haruhi passed me, despite it being so close to the end of lunch.
As I sat waiting for the end of lunch, no longer thirsty enough to be tempted by everyone around me, I kept accidentally overhearing other people's conversations. None of them caught my attention until I heard Haruhi's name mentioned.
"Did you hear Suzumiya-san and Asakura-san's argument earlier? It's the reason she's been walking in and out of the classroom for all of lunch."
"No, what was it about?"
"Suzumiya-san said she was going to do something and asked Asakura-san to make pass a message to the other members of that brigade thing of hers, except for the new girl. Asakura-san refused and told Suzumiya-san not to do it, and then Suzumiya-san shouted that it's not her something. Friend, I think. Anyway, then Asakura-san went to find her sister and Suzumiya-san went to do what she had asked Asakura-san to do."
By this point I had heard all I needed to know. Haruhi was planning something involving me and Ryoko didn't like it. This gave me the feeling that I wouldn't like it and it was best to avoid going to the clubroom somehow. Things didn't turn out like that, unfortunately.
Haruhi returned to the classroom, smiling, before my 'twin' and commanded me to attend a brigade meeting that afternoon, suggesting that she had found the other brigade members. Only then did Ryoko arrive, looking worried and even more so when she saw Haruhi, which left her with no chance to safely talk to me. I was definitely not going to like what was going to happen.
As soon as school ended Haruhi dragged me to the clubroom without a word, giving me the choice of resisting her (and revealing that the supernatural existed) or being dragged along. Despite my apprehension of what was to come, I still allowed Haruhi to pull me after her. Minutes later I was regretting it as she locked the door behind us.
"Well, we've kissed, hugged, shared a bed… there's something else I want to do." Haruhi stated; intent obvious as she approached me with a malicious gleam in her eye.
There was no way that I was going to allow her to do anything like that, so I grabbed Haruhi's arms and held them as far away from me as I could. Despite her struggling she couldn't get me to move at all, which was surprising. I hadn't thought I was that strong.
"There's no way that you're stronger than me." Haruhi hissed, still fighting and, unnervingly, beginning to gain ground until eventually the situations were reversed, Haruhi pinning me to the ground and smiling.
"Well, time to get started."
No it isn't! I don't want to do this! Can't you respect that?
"But I want to do it and you'll enjoy it in the end. So we're doing it." Haruhi answered, showing that she could still be an insensitive sociopath at times. Maybe it was tied into her libido.
Just because you think I'll enjoy it is no reason to force yourself onto me, you're supposed to respect your girlfriend's wishes! Wait, stop that! Stop taking my clothes off! Are you even listening? Stop!
I can't believe you did that, you're a complete monster… just because you might be God is no reason to force yourself onto people.
"What? But you looked like you were enjoying it… and me, God? How is that possible?" Haruhi replied puzzled. I had said too much but it didn't really matter to me – at that point, nothing did.
Just because my body responded didn't mean I mentally wanted it. What you did was rape… I hate you. Don't ever come near me again.
With that I headed towards the door, naked but unconcerned, and was only momentarily halted by the lock. Blood dripping from where I had cut myself on the sharp edges of the new hole in the door, I continued outwards. This high in the building there were no people, except from the Computer Research Society (who never responded to noises in the SOS Brigade's headquarters ), but on the stairs down I encountered people.
"I'm so sorry, nee-chan; I should have stopped her…" Ryoko said, sounding close to tears and handing me a large coat likely pilfered from one of the boys still in the school for whatever reason. Mechanically, I put it on and followed Ryoko home, noticing nothing, even though I should have attracted a lot of attention – strangely pale, downcast eyes, barefoot and extremely messy hair.
At home, all I did for the entire evening was sit lifelessly, coat abandoned at the door, and not responding to anything. Ryoko's attempts to get me to do something – eat, drink, wash, speak – all failed, leaving my 'twin' worried. Nagato made her own attempt to solve my problems, basically cleaning me with her seemingly magical data manipulation. Even after that, I did nothing until it was time to sleep.
When Nagato went into her room, followed by Ryoko who turned to look at me, I finally rose from my position on the floor. It wasn't my room that I headed to however but theirs, not wanting to be alone where Haruhi could find me. Ryoko seemed surprised when I came in but said nothing, Nagato didn't even respond and continued lying with her eyes shut, looking surprisingly fragile.
Neither complained when I joined them in the large bed, wrapping myself around my sister like a baby. Perhaps surprisingly, I fell asleep quickly.
When I woke it was to an ominous grey sky and Haruhi's face. Once more she was going to remake the world. That knowledge was enough to restore some life to me but I wasn't surprised and certainly wasn't going to do anything to stop it. I just wanted to forget what Haruhi had done.
"You're awake… I was half expecting to see Kyon here; he was here the previous two times. Maybe it's because of what you told me. When you told me I had the powers of God I guessed I could… feel those powers. But I can't control them, just influence them. Still, it seems like there's going to be a new world… I really ruined the last one, didn't I?" Haruhi said, seeming more contrite than I had ever seen her.
If you can control what it is, do you think you can make it similar to this one and let some of us keep our memories of this one? Except for this afternoon, I don't want anyone to remember that.
"I guess I have to make it up to you, I've never seen you that upset, Kyon. I want to forget and go back to how things were before but with you as a girl… would you mind that? Going back to the original SOS Brigade? There might be a few differences, though..."
I'm used to being a girl by now, it doesn't bother me. I don't mind if you stay as my girlfriend, either. Just so long as Tsuruya-san, Ryoko, Nagato, Asahina-san, Koizumi and I can remember all of the events up to this afternoon and I retain the knowledge of the world being remade.
"So Asakura-san stays as well. I think I can get the results the both of us want but I'm not sure. We'll just have to hope, right?"
I said nothing and simply watched as the avatars began to appear and unleash devastation on the world, whilst Haruhi sat and appeared to concentrate on what she wanted. As the glowing giants finally turned their attention to us, I prayed that everything would work. I didn't want to remember this afternoon…
But I still loved Haruhi.
AN: New world, new plot, new story. Yes, the next world will have a plot and we'll get to see what differences Haruhi has intentionally or unintentionally created. After I write the first chapter of my rewrite of Worried I'll start on the next story of this - The Renaissance of Haruhi Suzumiya.Not the same as the other fanfic of the same name that I wrote, I might add.
So, you'll have to wait and see what's different and what's the same. Heheh.
Review, please? Come on, you've read this whole story by now, surely now's the time? ;)