The door dropped our two heroines (not drugs, but close) onto a wooden surface. How could they tell it was made of wood? Because MS got a splinter on contact.
"GAH!" screamed the garden tool, writhing in pain.
"Shut the hell UP Regis!" She cried back at Regis.
AF stared blankly at her friend, then glanced around at the new surroundings. The blackness was gone, replaced by shimmering sunlight. In the light, she could see three semi-familiar faces staring at MS with unconcealed amusement. Who could it be but Sarah Brightman, Helen Keller, and Steve Bob McSteve! (Well, Helen Keller can't stare because she's blind…so her head was facing in MS's general direction.)
"Gargle gargle snrck?" asked Helen Keller.
"Is she okay?" asked Sarah Brightman.
Who knew Sarah Brightman spoke Helen Keller? You learn something new every day.
AF shrugged. "Sometimes, I have my doubts."
"LOLZ! I GOTZ IT!" Cried Steve Bob McSteve.
He drew a surgical instrument from his pants (o.o don't ask how it got there.) and grabbed MS's hand.
"ZOMG! WE MUST AMPUTATE!"
MS started crying while flailing, a feat that should not be attempted at home. You could hit someone and knock their glasses off…trust me. With a roll of her on fire eyes, AF swooped in and incinerated the splinter.
"Aw…" Steve moaned in disappointment, returning to his old position by a tree. Yes, what supported this strange, floating wooden porch were trees. Big ones at that. Somehow, the whole setting seemed oddly familiar. But AF and MS just couldn't seem to recall where they had seen it before.
The two blinked at the three figures who blinked back at them with expectation. Well…not Helen Keller. Cuz she's blind.
"Um…hey?" AF said, greeting Sarah Brightman first.
"You are walking through a forest. What time of day is it? Dawn, afternoon, or night?"
"Randooomm." Sang MS.
"Um…afternoon?" guessed AF.
Sarah Brightman didn't reply. MS shrugged, then skipped over to Helen Keller.
"What are we supposed to be doing?"
Helen Keller didn't answer. Not that she could. She can't hear.
"…" MS stared blankly, then poked Helen Keller.
"UGAAHH!!" She screamed, flinching.
MS giggled. Sure it may seem cruel, but Helen is dead. DEAD. And I'm sure that she'll haunt me in the afterlife or whatever…not that I'm worried. It's not like she could see me.
Helen Keller regained her composure, and cleared her throught.
"Ugah meh meh meh meh loooopppppppppasf? Hck, adjfh, fg gsdiogys?" She asked, her face completely serious, unlike yours, my dear reader, who is probably rolling about in convulsions of laughter.
MS stared for a moment, then glanced over at AF.
"Uh….what'd she say?"
AF shrugged, equally confused.
"I dunno. I don't speak Helen Keller." She turned to Sarah Brightman. "Yo, Sarah Blindman. Translate."
However, Sarah Brightman stayed dumb, but at least she wasn't dumb, blind, and deaf! Oh, it's just too easy to mock Helen Keller…
Now, AF was annoyed. She didn't have her Midol, she had been violated twice by shining orbs of right that slightly reminded her of the annoying fairy from Legend of Zelda which made her feel even worse! Oh, and did I mention she had 0 tolerance for annoying people? She curled her flaming hand into a fist, and with a powerful swing, she punched out Helen Keller.
"HOLY CRAP!" MS cried. "You punched Helen Keller!"
AF nodded proudly.
"Oh you are SO going to hell!"
AF nodded proudly once more.
"I'm Jewish. Doesn't matter."
Helen Keller gave a thumbs up from her position on the ground. Her head was bleeding…pretty badly.
"Does that mean she's okay?"
"HOLY SHIT I'M CURED!!!!" Helen screamed with joy.
AF and MS's eyes widened.
"I'M CURED!" Helen Keller had no volume control… "I'M CURED!"
With a swift kick from MS, she was back out of commission.
That means fuck you.
"SHUT IT REGIS!"
Finally, it was time to interact with Steve Bob McSteve. He grinned widely as the two approached him, but he was missing a few teeth from his misadventures through previous fanfictions so he looked kind of like a messed up jack o lantern. Creeeppyyy.
"Ok Steve Bob McSteve. What random shit do you have for us?" AF sighed. She was already regretting ever eating ice cream before going to bed. This crack dream was just too much.
"...What is the air speed velocity of a swallow?" He asked.
"…Really? REALLY?" MS yelled. Monty Python was not a familiar topic to her. However, AF knew this part by heart.
"African or European?"
"I…I don't know!" Steve cried with desperation. A sudden wind grabbed him and hurled him down into whatever the hell was below the wooden platform.
"…uh…now what?" MS asked.
AF shrugged. "YO! REGIS!"
Oh, so now you want to talk to me.
"What do we do now?"
Like I'm gonna tell you assholes!
"Tell us you has been!"
Ouch…Do you know how much that hurts inside?
"I don't care. What the hell are we gonna do now?"
Well, I'm supposed to ask you-
"THEN ASK US!"
Fine. Are you ready to begin your adventure?
Is that your final answ-
"YES!" Screamed MS in annoyance. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!"
You don't have to yell at me!
The scenery began to change, and they found themselves falling back into darkness, and they began to regret ever having answered the damn question.