Harry Potter and the Nutella Catastrophe

by The Torn Apart Paper Yoyo

DISCLAIMER- Unfortunately Harry Potter and Nutella both belong to their respectful owners.

AUTHORS NOTE- Please be nice to me in your reviews because this is the first fan-fiction I have ever written. Slight implied SLASH at the end.

Harry Potter was relieved when Hedwig finally arrived in the Great Hall on Monday morning. He had been afraid that he'd have to go without his usual morning hit. Hedwig glided through the great hall, attracting attention from everyone for her uncharacteristic lateness. This attention was increased as she glided to the doors of the great hall and swooped Draco Malfoy, who was just arriving for breakfast, surrounded by his usual cronies. Hooting in enjoyment, Hedwig swept past and continued towards her owner.

When Hedwig landed next to him, Harry noticed that there was a note with his much anticipated package.

Dear Mr. Potter,
I regret to inform you that due to some problems with my usual supplier, I will not be able to supply you with your next hit until Thursday morning as opposed to Wednesday morning as previously agreed.
Sorry for any inconveniences,
Sophie Mitra.

Praying that he was just having a really, really bad daydream, Harry handed the letter to Hermione asking if he was just imagining things. He wasn't.

Just as he was opening his mysterious brown paper package, Draco Malfoy appeared at his side, having ditched his entourage.

"You need to learn to control that owl of yours, Potter." He spat.

"And you need to learn to control that temper of yours, Malfoy." Harry replied glaring at him for what felt to be a few hours but in reality was a few seconds before he turned back to his package.

"Is that shit, Potter?" Draco asked a bit unsure. Harry didn't bother replying. Instead he just retrieved a piece of toast for Hedwig and a piece of toast for himself and started to slather the brown substance on by the inch.

"Well, Potter. What is it?" Malfoy asked glaring at him.

'None of your business, Malfoy." Harry told him taking a bite of his toast.

Draco looked at him weirdly for a while before asking "Is that chocolate?" his voice full of incredulity

"No Malfoy, it's Nutella." He told the other boy coldly before taking another bite of his toast.

Fed up with not getting any answers, Draco put his finger in the now half empty jar, and bought some Nutella up to his mouth, just as Harry put down what was left of his toast and drew his wand on him. "Touch my Nutella… no, scratch that. Think about touching my Nutella again and I'll use the Cruciatus curse on you." He said through his teeth, silencing the Great Hall.

"Aww, Potter, you're such a dementor, you suck the fun out of everything." Draco teased at him. Before using his fully sic seeker ninja moves to grab the jar of Nutella and bolt down to the Slytherin common room. Furious, Harry jumped to his feet and pursued his nemesis, his outraged cries drifting back through the hall for the stunned students to hear.

"I'm gunna kill you Malfoy. Give me back my Nutella!"

Just as Draco was about to enter the Slytherin common room, Harry caught up to him. "Give me back my Nutella, Malfoy!" Harry demanded re-drawing his wand on the other boy.

"Never!" Draco yelled back also drawing his wand.

"Yes!" Harry yelled muscularly, "Or… Or …I'll use my extremely powerful Boy-Who-Lived powers and my really fast superhero like seeker moves and Cruciatus you!"

"Yeah, well… well… I'll use my full sick seeker ninja moves and Cruciatus you too!"

"Give. Me. My. Nutella!" Harry whispered deathly silently.

"NO!" Draco yelled. "It's mine now. All mine! And I'm never giving it back!"

"Fine! Stupefy!" Harry screamed.

Draco barely managed to dodge it before yelling, "Crucio!" only faltering when it didn't seem to affect him.

"That wasn't very nice." Harry told the other boy as casually as one would discuss the quidditch scores. "Give me back my Nutella. Or… or… I'll Avada Kedavra you!"

Just as he said the magic words "Avada Kedavra" a whisp of green light lashed out of his wand and hit Draco in the foot. Harry looked around guiltily before shrugging and walking over to the Draco Malfoys dead body and retrieving his jar of Nutella. "Oh well." He shrugged and sat down, using Draco as a seat. "Just where you always wanted me, hey Malfoy." Harry laughed to himself.

When he discovered that he didn't have a spoon, Harry picked up Draco's hand and commenced to eat his Nutella, using the fingers as a spoon. That's when Professor Snape arrived on the scene. "Potter, what are you doing?" he asked.

In answer, Harry just looked up smiling "Nutella," he told him holding up the jar. "It's great" before standing up and skipping down the corridor towards the Great Hall.

"And… Cut!" Yelled the Director.