FERTILITY AND THE JEHOVAH
**Summary: Doug and Carrie have six hours to make love before she can no longer conceive for that month. After a knock on the door, Doug and Carrie find themselves battling the ultimate visitor: the Jehovah's Witness.
Disclaimer: Does it look like I own King of Queens? I wouldn't be here if I did!
"Come on, baby. Come to papa," Doug growled. Carrie crawled over to him and started to ride. Suddenly, the doorbell sounded along with insistant knocking.
"Dammit. Answer the door. You have on more clothes."
"That might run them off."
"Good! Just go!" Carrie spat, sighing heavily as she reaplied her housecoat.
Doug answered the door unhappily wearing only a pair of unzipped shorts.
"Pardon me, Sir, but would you like to hear about…?"
"No, I wouldn't. Could I please…?"
"But your soul is going to burn for all eternity without hearing our words."
"LIsten, I don't care. Could I please…?"
"DId you not understand me?"
"I DID! COULD YOU PLEASE GO AWAY!?!" Doug screamed, but the Jehovah's pushed past him and sat down, pulling out pamphlets. Carrie groaned audibly as she decended the stairs.
"Okay. I don't care who you are, get out of my house. That is breaking and entering."
"But he allowed us to enter; he gave us permission."
"NO I DID NOT! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Doug screamed. Carrie sighed and picked up the phone. The operator stated that the situation was not an 'emergency' and hung up on Carrie, who went further into the kitchen and grabbed a utility knife from the knife block. She held it up darkly as she entered the living room, where Doug sat with his head in his hands.
"You heard him! Get out!" she spat. The Jehovah's agreed and left.
"Now where were we?" Doug growled.