*raises from death like phoenix from its own ashes* 8D
HA! Did you guys thought we abandoned the Trainings Camp? No way! We just had a hard time writing this new chapter. School and real life had been a bitch and after the last chapter we felt like it was necessary to solve the situation. Keep going with the normal flow would feel wrong, so we took our time to write out this new chapter. You'll notice that it is different to the earlier chapters, especially because there is no sexual act this time. This chapter turned out angsty and not fluffy like usually. But do not fret our dear readers. We are not planning to keep it like this. After this chapter everything will be back into the usual flow of fluffy sexiness.
And maybe there is be a nice little surprise at the end of this chapter? :3
Ludwig woke up with a sigh. The first sensation he felt was satisfaction—relaxed like when he had a shower and a cold beer after a long day of work. Or, when he entered the warmth of the house after walking his dogs through the rain. The blond shifted and rolled over onto his side, not yet willing to open his eyes and leave the bed. His hand reached over to Feliciano's side of the bed, groping around for the Italian in need to feel the warmth of his skin. Maybe even a bit cuddling. But he couldn't feel his lover. Feliciano's side of the bed was cold.
"Hnn... Feliciano?" Ludwig mumbled and frowned, finally getting himself to open his eyes. The sun was already up, or was it still up? The blond sat up in his bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and shaking his head to dispel the fog from his mind. He looked around the bedroom before his glance lingered on the empty spot next to him. Where did the Italian go?
And then realization hit him, and all the memories of the last afternoon came back to him. "Gottverdammt!" Ludwig let himself fall back onto the bed and pulled the blanket over his head, wanting to hide from everything he needed to face.
How late was it? Morning or afternoon? It couldn't be helped. Ludwig could not hide here forever. Throwing the blanket off of himself, he rose from the bed. He needed to look for his lover and see if he was okay. This situation was nothing they could just ignore and never talk about again; Ludwig didn't want a wall of unsolved problems between himself and the man he loved.
Feliciano huddled under the covers, staring outside the window of the guest room. The maid dress still lay on the floor next to the bed in a crumpled heap, discarded as he had climbed into the bed in the middle of the night, restless and confused.
He couldn't exactly sleep; partly because his body still did hurt, but mostly because his mind was flooded with white-noise. The Italian whined, tossing the blanket back over his head, squeezing his eyes shut and willing all of his thoughts to quiet down so he could sleep for a bit.
Maybe...maybe he should go back to Italy for a while.
Another whine escaped him as he flopped back over, wincing a bit at the pain the sudden motion caused him. He didn't want to leave Ludwig! He didn't like things sitting like this! It wasn't like he hated him or anything, he didn't hate him at all! It was just...well, he couldn't really figure out what it was. Of course he still loved Ludwig, he just...well, he was a little afraid to see him at the moment.
But he wasn't afraid of Ludwig at all! At least, he didn't think he was. Ludwig had always been his protector, so he shouldn't be scared of him, right?
...but he still couldn't face him. It would be...hard to face him.
More distressed noises came from the restless Italian, burying his head under the blankets more, tears starting to mingle with his panic. He had faced worse, hadn't he? He had been Ludwig's captive during war hadn't he? Then why was this...
...maybe he should go back to Italy for a while. Just to reorganize his thoughts.
But the very thought of leaving caused him just as much distress as staying, and it once again left the Italian wishing his thoughts would stop for a moment.
All the rooms were abandoned. The house felt quiet and aloof without the laughter and bustle Feliciano brought into it. Ludwig wandered almost aimlessly through the cold hallways and opened every door to check inside the rooms. He was sure the Italian hadn't left the house; the dogs would have barked if they noticed someone leaving. But they had been quiet the whole night, so Feliciano must be there somewhere.
Ludwig knew his lover would be too scared to go into the basement without another person with him. Not even into Gilbert's part of it. So there was just one room left.
He stood in front of the door to the guest room and sighed, hesitating to open it. What if Feliciano didn't want to see him anymore? Or break up with him? Ludwig had gotten used to their relationship. He didn't want to be without his lover anymore. The blond had truly started to enjoy their time together—and realized how much it sucked to be alone.
"Feliciano...?" Ludwig spoke with a soft voice, lightly knocking the wooden door before he tried to open it, only to find the door locked. "... Are you in here?" He started to worry. Feliciano never locked doors. Not even when he was taking a shower or getting dressed. The Italian obviously didn't want Ludwig with him right now.
Any noises or squirming the Italian may have been doing immediately stopped when a knock and a voice resonated throughout the room, his breath catching in his throat and his body freezing up.
It...it was just Ludwig! He should feel like this at all! Feliciano shook his head, willing the nagging apprehension from his thoughts. He opened his mouth to reply...but couldn't find the words, another wave of panic washing over him. What did he say? What should he say? He didn't know what to do at all!
Eventually his survival instincts kicked him.
"A-Ah, Ludwig! S-Si, I'm in here!" The story rolled of his tongue as easily as they always did, his voice muffled from the blankets, eyes firmly closed and body curled up. "E-Eh heh, I-I'm sorry, I'm j-just not feeling well!" He gasped, shaking his head, realizing how the statement sounded. He didn't want Ludwig to feel bad about that right now!
"U-Um, I-I mean, I-I think I caught a cold, ve!" Feliciano forced out a fake cough, hoping it would be convincing enough. "It m-must of been from the leaves, e-eh heh! O-Oh, u-um, I mean, the leaves or the rain! I-I...I didn't want Ludwig to...t-to get sick, so I c-came in here!"
The Italian opened his eyes finally, letting out all the extra breath he had been holding back, peering out the window again. The moment dragged on, the hesitation eating at his insides. "U-Um..." The Italian rubbed away a few of the tears that returned, letting out another sigh. "I-I'm...um, I'm really sick so...v-ve, m-maybe I-I'll just g-go home for a bit so I don't g-get Ludwig sick! S-So you can work a-and stuff..."
He caught a cold? Ludwig frowned, all the thoughts of guilt and the need to apologize were immediately washed away by worry. "How did that happen? It didn't rain yesterday. And you were dressed warmly enough when we were working in the yard." Ludwig wrapped his fingers around the door knob and tried to open the door again, but it only rattled, still locked.
"Did you run around the house naked last night?" The blond had realized that it was morning, probably around eight. Not that it mattered much now though. "You cannot go home when you are sick! That would be too much for your body. Just stay in bed and I'll make you soup and tea." Ludwig pressed his ear against the wood of the door but he didn't hear anymore noises from inside of the room.
"Do you need medicine?" He rattled the doorknob once again. "Feliciano? Let me in to check your temperature..." Ludwig knocked again, making sure that the Italian was paying attention to him. "Please. I need to check how bad your cold is."
The Italian had to bite his lip to prevent any sounds from escaping him, a wave of guilt of his own crashing over him. He didn't want Ludwig to worry about him! But...he couldn't face him either. Feliciano buried his head back into the pillows, muffling his distressed whine.
His mind whirled as he tried to think of another approach, debating on continuing the lie or not. "U-um, I-I mean...v-ve, i-it's n-not...um! I-It's not th-that bad, eh heh! I-I...I just don't want to get Ludwig sick!" The lie sprouted from him again in his struggle to think of an escape, voice still muffled as he kept his head buried in the pillow. "I-I'm f-fine, I-I just need...e-er, s-some extra sleep, e-eh heh! I-I wont go anywhere, I-I'll just stay in here!"
The Italian scrubbed the tears from his eyes and tried his hardest to stop his sniffles. The morning was proving to be as stressful as the day before. Feliciano didn't know what to think, the German's worry hurting just as much as the thought of having to face Ludwig again so soon. And both of those thoughts only conflicted with his want to pretend the night never happened, and just to have Ludwig's hugs and kisses again like before.
He hoped that Ludwig would accept his words and leave him to sort his thoughts; maybe Ludwig would believe his story for once?
"I don't get sick easily, you should know me well enough." Ludwig let go of the doorknob and crossed his arms in front of his chest, frowning. Why would Feliciano want to stay in the guestroom instead of their shared bedroom? The Italian had always managed to not sleep in this room and sneak into Ludwig's bed, even when he was sick. And he hadn't slept in the guest room at all since they became lovers. It doesn't make sense. Unless... Feliciano was hurting worse than the blond thought and didn't want to show himself.
Ludwig let out a distressed groan at the idea. He'd rather follow the thought of his lover being sick than the realization that yesterday afternoon had been more painful for Feliciano then Ludwig had first thought. A cold was easier to heal then broken trust.
"O-Okay." Ludwig spoke louder now, making sure that Feliciano could hear every single one of his words through the closed door. "You stay in bed. I will go and make tea." He took two steps away from the door and paused. "Make sure that you are warm enough covered in blankets. I'll be back soon with tea and medicine." With that he rushed off into the kitchen to boil water for peppermint tea.
Feliciano could hear the soft thuds of Ludwig's steps as he walked away from the door, a wave of mixed emotions rushing over him. The distressed hums and sighs only increased, the Italian rubbing his face endlessly into the pillow. This...wasn't what he wanted! He didn't like feeling like there was...some sort of wall between him and his lover, and not just the walls of the little guest room, either.
The Italian rolled on his back (more carefully than before, not wanting to cause any extra pain), scrubbing his eyes with his hands. It was just...too hard! He hated not seeing Ludwig, but at the same time, he couldn't bring himself to see him. He...wasn't afraid, but he was...
Well, at least he knew he was confused at the moment, letting out another whine, shaking his head at the unwanted thoughts. What was he supposed to do?
Feliciano peeked out from his fingers, staring at the ceiling like it held the answers he needed. He could...pretend it didn't happen? That was always his default plan anyways—and it seemed to work, at least some of the time. He reached up, starring at his hands. But his eyes soon wandered to his wrists, something clenching at his heart. The marks were no longer there, but...
"Ngh!" The thought only made the Italian flop back onto his stomach with a whine and a sniffle, face back into the pillow. He knew Ludwig has his kinks, but that had been too much! Something like that was just...too scary.
But none of those thoughts helped his distress, still rubbing his face into the pillow again.
Ludwig rushed down the stairs to the kitchen, still only in boxers and his tank top. He spotted some dirty dishes and an empty plate with pie crumbles on the table as he entered the room. A note was left right next to the mess:
'This pie was so awesome, it could've been made by me!'
The blond rolled his eyes and sighed, ignoring the fact that his brother first—ate all the rest of the pie, and second—didn't clean up afterwards. Feliciano was more important right now. The blond started to boil water for tea while he made the toast. How had the Italian had gotten sick so quickly? It had not been that cold in the yard yesterday. And Ludwig had made sure that they were dressed warm enough.
A worried frown furrowed Ludwig's forehead. Maybe the dress had been to cold for his lover? As much as the blond could remember it didn't look like a summer dress. More like a casual maid dress. The memories of Feliciano dressed in such appealing clothes, so innocent and submissive left Ludwig with a throb into his lower body, heat crawling into his cheeks and coloring them red with a bashful blush.
"Hnn." Ludwig shook his head. This was not the time to think about this kind of things. He put the finished tea and the toast down onto a tray and hurried back to the guest room, balancing the tray on one hand while he knocked with the other one.
"Feliciano, I am back..." he knocked again. "I brought you breakfast."
The knock at the door came much quicker than he thought it would (or he was prepared for), making his heart thump in his chest, throat suddenly becoming constricted. He...he wasn't ready for Ludwig to be back already! He hadn't made any decisions on what to do yet!
A long moment dragged on as Feliciano struggled to find his voice again, dragging the covers over his frame, muffling his voice. "A-Ah, um, o-okay, Ludwig! W-Welcome back!" He could almost hear his mind whirring as he tried to think of something to do or say; he didn't want to leave Ludwig worrying, but he didn't want to face Ludwig and open the door—
—and the door was locked, too! He would have to get up to unlock it, and that would just bring him closer to...
...why was he having second thoughts about being closer? This was still Ludwig, and he still loved Ludwig! All these thoughts were just too confusing!
The Italian rolled over and sat up, starring at the door for a long moment from his cocoon of covers, unable to keep the twinge of something from leaving his stomach. "...I-I guess I-I should c-come unlock the door for you...~"
He continued to stare at the door; opening it was quickly becoming a task easier said than done. Eventually Feliciano managed to get his legs to work. He tossed them over the side of the bed, sitting on the edge for a moment before standing and shuffling over to the door, trying to convince his heart to stop trying to leap from his chest. It was just Ludwig! It was just Ludwig...this was all silly, this was his lover he was talking about!
...regardless of the endless times he repeated this in his head, he still hesitated before clicking open the lock of the door, and immediately scurried back to the bed, burring himself in the blankets, out of sight. "D-Door is open~"
A worried crinkle appeared on Ludwig's forehead. Why did Feliciano take so long to open the door? Was he too weak to get up from the bed?
He almost opened his mouth to ask when the door was unlocked. Ludwig grasped the doorknob and turned it, entering the guestroom. His glance immediately focused on the bed. Feliciano had already returned to it, and the blanket was pulled over his head. Interesting how fast the Italian could be when he really wanted to.
"I got tea. It smells nice and fresh." Ludwig walked towards the bed, balancing the tray on his hand before setting it down onto the nightstand. Ludwig noticed the maid dress from yesterday lying sloppily on the floor. The blond knew it was spoiled, but he couldn't bring himself to pick it up and take it away to wash. Feliciano was more important right now.
Ludwig sat down on the side of the bed, his lover's back turned to him. "Feliciano?" His voice was rather low, not wanting to startle the Italian as he reached over and gently placed his hand onto the other's shoulder. "Let me feel your forehead? I need to check if you have fever." Feliciano's frame was fully covered and huddled into the blanket, but Ludwig could still make out the familiar body as he leaned over it.
Feliciano certainly wasn't feeling hungry at the moment; there were enough knots in his insides to make sure that he would never want to eat again. He could barely even understand what the German was saying; indecision and mixed emotions clouded his mind as the two sides of his heart fought. What was he going to do, what was he going to do? He should just tell Ludwig how he felt, right? That last night was just...
...but he couldn't bring himself to say it because that would be admitting that he...
...what was he admitting? Why was he so worried, it was just Ludwig! He needed to tell Ludwig what he thought, it was the right thing to do!
...but even if it was the right thing, how did he do it? He couldn't find the words to say; he didn't even know exactly what he wanted to say in the first place!
And then the hand gently rested on his shoulder.
Feliciano could've swore his heart had exploded in that moment, an involuntary shudder running down his spine. Ludwig being in the room was only making his confusion even worse! What was he supposed to do, he wasn't ready to face him yet!
"I-I'm not really h-hungry o-or thirsty, L-Ludwig! I-I think I just n-need sleep!" The voice came out in a rushed squeak, body freezing up as if him being still would keep his lies from being discovered. He didn't even catch Ludwig's question or remember to keep up his sick facade, unable to grasp anything but the need to avoid the German's probing until he could come to a decision.
Something was wrong... Ludwig had seen Feliciano sick before. And then the smaller man had acted much differently than this. He would've allowed Ludwig to care for him. The blond knew how greedy the Italian could be when it was about getting and keeping his lover's attention. Ludwig took a breath and held it for a moment.
"You are not really sick aren't you?"
It was not really as if Ludwig wanted an answer to this question. He already knew he was right. Feliciano was just avoiding the subject. Years of militaristic observation had done their work and Ludwig had slowly learned to read his lover quite well. Even if there were still many secrets inside of the other's mind, right now Ludwig knew that Feliciano was not honest with him.
Sliding further onto the bed, Ludwig laid down and cradled his lover from behind. "Did I really hurt you that much, Feliciano?" Ludwig's voice was even softer now, his arm loosely wrapped around the other's shoulder. He cursed the blanket between them as he held onto his lover, but he didn't pull it away. It seemed that the Italian wanted it around him right now.
Oh no, oh no, oh no, no, no! Ludwig already figured out he was lying? What was he going to do now? He couldn't just tell him what he thought, that would be...what would it be? He didn't even know what it would be, but he just couldn't do it!
His voice caught in his throat, all the cogs in Feliciano's brain screeching to a halt at the gentle questioning. What was he going to do?
"A-ah, no, no! I-I'm just not feeling well, I-I'm really not! I-I mean, it's not that...I just, um, maybe ate too much and have a tummy ache, and my head k-kinda h-hurts, a-and I might be g-getting a cough, so I-I didn't want to g-get Ludwig sick since Ludwig works so hard and everything! D-Don't worry about it, please don't worry!"
More lies and stories were the only things Feliciano's cornered mind could think of, trying his hardest to backpedal away from...that topic. He needed time. He didn't know what he needed to do yet! The brunets body tensed up, curling tighter into himself and gripping the blankets more desperately. "I-I just need some more sl-sleep and I'll be back to 100 percent, Ludwig!"
He was lying... Ludwig knew it. His lover was lying to him. He couldn't have a stomach ache. Ludwig had been in the kitchen before he had come into this room. It was Gilbert who had eaten the cake, not Feliciano. No other food was gone—he would've noticed while he made the toast and tea. And a cold would not come so randomly.
The blond might be a strict man and he might not understand everything that was going on in the Italian's mind, but he certainly knew that the other one was just avoiding the confrontation. It was too obvious.
Ludwig didn't know what was worse, the fact that he had lost control and hurt what he loved most, or that Feliciano was—and kept— lying to him about it. Taking a deep breath, he held it for a moment, trying to sort his thoughts. "... I want to help you, you know... But I can't do that when you don't talk to me..."
Damn situation... just for some satisfaction and to live out some hidden fantasies. That was not worth it, was it? Ludwig held on the other more desperately, wrapping both arms tight around the other's body, holding his cocoon of blankets pressed against his own body.
"Felciano... Please don't be like this..." I don't think I can handle you when you are this way... Ludwig's voice was more a pleading whine, nothing at all like the demanding and dominate lover he had been yesterday.
Feliciano's heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest; he could only hope that Ludwig couldn't feel it trying to do so. Ludwig's arms only prevented him from burrowing more into the blankets, but the thin layer between them at least gave the Italian a little room to think; if anything, at least the blond wouldn't be able to so the distress on his face.
Ludwig's words did nothing to reassure him. If anything, they panicked him more. His plan wasn't working; Ludwig knew there was something wrong, and the worse part, Ludwig sounded upset—he was trying to avoid that! What was he going to do?
He could tell the truth. The truth was probably for the best, right? He could just tell Ludwig that...that he didn't like it, and then everything would be better! And he could get Ludwig to hug and kiss everything away like it never happened...
...but there was just something about the truth that he couldn't tell! It was too...too something. Too much of something he couldn't name, and he didn't know what to do!
"B-But we are talking! E-Eh heh! I m-mean, I-I really just d-don't feel well! I-I just need to get back o-on my feet, a-and then I'll be fine! Don't worry a-about it!"
He tried to pull the blanket more over his head, squeezing his eyes shut and willing himself to just...fall asleep and wake up in another time were he wasn't faced with so many confusing emotions! This was just too hard!
This was not working... not at all. Feliciano was still holding back and keeping his worries to himself. Ludwig had never been someone who could easily read the emotions of others. No, emotions were more a bother to the stern man than something helpful. He was unfamiliar with his own feelings keeping them hidden from himself, so why would he put effort into thinking about someone else's emotions? Feliciano didn't want to talk about the real matters. He didn't want Ludwig's help. So there was nothing he could do now, right?
Ludwig held his arms around his lover a bit longer. It felt like faked peace, feeling at ease even if there was still this invisible wall of unsaid words between them.
He let go of the other and got out of the bed. It was not worth the effort to keeping poking Feliciano. Ludwig walked around the bed towards the door, picking up the maid dress on his way. He left the guest room without another word, a worried frown on his face. The blond didn't like to leave Feliciano like this, but he didn't know what else to do.
Ludwig made his way to the bathroom and dropped the dress into the dirty laundry. Leaning over the sink he pressed his forehead against the mirror and glared at his own reflection.
"Damn you, Ludwig... Damn you!" He moved back and clenched his hand into a fist, suddenly punching the mirror hard. It broke into pieces, all the shattered glass tumbled down into the sink and around his bare feet. "Gottverdammt..."
The long moment they laid there in silence only ate away more at Feliciano's already twisted insides; it felt so tense, and so wrong. Something was between them, something other than the blanket, and he didn't like it. He didn't want Ludwig to pry because he didn't have any answers to his questions...but the complete lack of anything only made him wish Ludwig would say something.
Why couldn't he himself say something? Why couldn't he speak up when he knew he should say something? He couldn't find the words to say; he didn't know what to say.
And when Ludwig left he only felt more alone than he had ever felt.
What was wrong with himself? Feliciano tugged at his bangs, letting out another distressed groan. Why couldn't he just tell Ludwig that...why couldn't he talk or look at Ludwig at all? Not talking hurt worse than trying to talk had! Ludwig was upset, he knew...he knew Ludwig wanted him to say something, but he couldn't! He couldn't say anything, it was too...he couldn't say anything!
He hated this feeling...why didn't he just do something to change it?
Doing something had to be much easier than feeling like this! He didn't like the wall or the tension, he hated it! He absolutely hated it! There wasn't much that the Italian detested, but this...this feeling had to be one of them! It was horrible—he should just do something to change it!
...but doing something would be...
The sound of something shattering almost scared him out of his skin.
Feliciano sat up, blankets still wrapped around him, heart thumping once again. "L-Ludwig?"
What happened? Did something fall? Maybe Ludwig dropped the tea...but it was still sitting on the stand beside him. Did someone break in? What if Ludwig was hurt? What if something really bad had happened?
The thoughts only drove him out of bed, worry only intensified to unbearable levels by his other confused emotions. He dragged the blankets behind him, peeking his head out of the room tentatively.
No one. No signs of a struggle or anything. But the thought did nothing to calm his worry; he swore his heart was going to be squeezed out of his throat. What is something really bad had happened?
It only took him a few moments to notice someone in the bathroom.
"...L-Ludwig...?" He inched toward the door, peeking his head inside. And froze as soon as he saw the scene.
The glass of the mirror...Ludwig broke it? What was...
Feliciano opened his mouth to say something, but nothing would come out, eyes wide as he stood frozen in the doorway.
Ludwig looked down at his still clenched fist and let out an unpleased grown. It did not bleed, but it did hurt. But he was feeling something. Something different then the tension and guilt he had been feeling since he woke up. But did it have to be pain? And the mirror was broken too. Ludwig was not sure if that had been worth it. Probably not.
Clenching his fist more Ludwig turned on the spray of the sink and let cold water flow over his knuckles. It didn't help him feel better, but at least he didn't need to see his face anymore. Only the plain white of the wall stared back at him now.
Ludwig turned off the water once the throbbing left his hand and looked down onto the floor, observing the mess of shattered glass around him. So many little pieces. That would take him a while to clean.
Reaching for a towel to dry off his hand the blond noticed Feliciano, who was looking into the bathroom with a worried expression. The blankets were wrapped tight around his body, and he didn't look very well actually. Ludwig's glance meet Feliciano's for a brief second before he turned his attention back towards the glass on the floor. "Don't come in." His voice was calm and low, emotionless and stern. Not a hint of his twisted insides was showing. "You will cut your feet if you do."
He still worried about the other man. He didn't want his lover to be hurt. Even if he had hurt him himself last night. Why was everything so complicated?
Ludwig spread the towel out over the shattered glass and wiped it into a pile so it wouldn't be all over the floor and he could walk in the room without cutting his own bare feet.
If Feliciano had been speechless before, it didn't compare to anything he felt right now. Only minutes before he couldn't say the words that floated in the back of his mind; now he really had nothing to say.
And he couldn't even think of anything to do. Why had Ludwig broken the mirror? Was he hurt? Should he help? Ludwig told him not to, though...what was wrong? Was it his fault? Something had to be wrong, what could he do?
His feet were carrying him away from the scene before he even realized it. He ended up in the kitchen without thinking about it, opening the closet on reflex.
What had gone so wrong? Everything was fine the day before, and now this gap had arrived, and it hurt Feliciano more than anything else.
He didn't know why he had gone to closet, but as soon as he spotted the broom he remembered, grabbing it along with the dustpan and taking it with him on his way back to the bathroom, readjusting the blankets more securely around himself.
"Ludwig...u-um..." Even after the small trip he still could think of nothing to say to the man. He offered the broom to him from the doorway instead, looking down at the floor.
"Danke." That was all Ludwig had to say. His voice was small but stern as he took the broom out of Feliciano's hand with just a quick glance. His mind was not really on the task of wiping the floor, mechanically piling the pieces of the mirror onto a pile in the middle of the bathroom. His thoughts lingered in the future. What to do now? Feliciano obviously didn't want to talk. Ludwig had to think of another solution. Communication couldn't work when only one was talking.
Ludwig took the dustpan too and wiped the shattered mirror onto it. His mind was distracted; he couldn't seem to find the right way to work through this. It seemed to need more time, maybe some space... Ludwig paused for a moment, frowning at the glass on the dustpan in his hand. Space seemed to be what he was searching for. Maybe he was not the only who needed time to think. Feliciano seemed to need as much time to sort out his thoughts.
Turning towards the door, Ludwig left the bathroom without a glance at the other. He took the broom and dustpan with him into the kitchen, putting them back into the closet after throwing away the shattered mirror.
Next, it was into the bedroom to get dressed, still lost in thought. It might feel cruel to completely ignore Feliciano now, but even the sight of his distressed lover distracted the blond from thinking of a solution.
"Aster, Berlitz, Blacky!" Ludwig called his dogs from the front door and didn't need to wait long until they came running, wagging their tails to greet their master. Ludwig opened the door and let the dogs run out into the yard before he followed them outside, closing the door behind him. A walk through the forest seemed to be what he needed now. Fresh air, some time for himself, and space to sort out his thoughts.
The Italian couldn't think of anything to say, but that didn't stop him from watching the blond as he swept away the shards. And it didn't stop him from following the blond as he went to toss the remains away in the trashcan in the kitchen—or when he went to the bedroom to get dressed, standing next to the door at a safe distance.
Of course, he still had nothing to say, but something was bugging him enough to keep him close behind the other, dragging the blankets behind him as he followed Ludwig like a lost puppy. It was so strange...to think this morning he had been trying his hardest to avoid the German until he could sort out his thoughts; now he couldn't quell the impulse to follow the German around, not wanting to be left alone, yet not wanting to get too close.
This, of course, didn't help Feliciano sort out his feelings at all. He was still as confused as before. But Ludwig's silence only nagged at something in the back of his mind, a worry working its way to the edge of his subconscious.
A worry that was slowly making itself known as soon as Ludwig had called the dogs, opening the door to go outside.
"W-Wait!" His words came out croaked as the door closed in front of him, the Italian blinking out of his daze. He hurried to open the door, trotting out onto the front pouch as Ludwig began to walk away from the house, face slowing twisting into an expression of panic. "L-Ludwig, y-you're not leaving, are you?"
His emotions only conflicted again; he didn't want to talk to the German because he didn't know what to say...but he definitely didn't want him to leave the house either! The thought only made his heart pound unusually fast in his chest, tears welling up at the corner of his eyes.
Ludwig briefly turned his head around, glancing at Feliciano for a mere second. "Get dressed, you'll catch a cold if you stand outside with just a blanket around yourself." It was not only his usual concern towards the Italian that had caused him to say that—it was also that Ludwig didn't want his lover to follow him. How can you think through and sort out your thoughts when you are not left alone?
First Feliciano didn't want him around and didn't want to talk to him, even when Ludwig had tried his best to get the Italian to talk; and now he didn't want him to leave. The Italian was acting very confusing. As usual.
The blond didn't look back again when he walked though the garden and opened the little gate that lead to the forest. The dogs ran for it once they were allowed to leave, their noses at the ground to search for anything interesting. Ludwig followed them out of the garden, without a glance at the other. He needed to focus on the dogs and his own thoughts now.
The Italian stopped in his tracks as the German turned to him, sluggish mind struggling to process what Ludwig had said. Get dressed? But...Ludwig hadn't answered his question! Did that mean he was really leaving him alone?
"No...n-no, wait!" Feliciano's mind only caught up to him at the click of the garden gate, feet immediately propelling him forward. Ludwig couldn't leave him alone—he didn't want to be alone! He didn't want to talk, and he couldn't really face him, but he didn't want Ludwig to leave him! He couldn't leave him, not at a time like this!
He struggled to keep the blanket up over his shoulders, tossing the gate open and running after the man, an unexplainable panic gripping his heart and squeezing the air from his lungs. He didn't want to be alone, and he didn't want Ludwig to leave him! What if he never came back, he didn't want to be alone forever!
"Ludwig! Ludwig! C-Come back!" As hard as he tried to keep both the blanket wrapped around him and out of the way of his feet as he hurried after the other, it wasn't long before he managed to become tangled, tripping over his own feet and falling to the ground with a yelp.
Feliciano laid there for a long moment, before sitting up and curling up on himself. His back hurt. His feet hurt. His head hurt and his heart hurt. He didn't like anything about anything at the moment. Everything had turned so awful. He hurt all over and now Ludwig was leaving him. And he was still confused about everything.
The Italian let out a wail and buried his face into the blankets, already feeling his tears soaking the fabric.
Ludwig walked away from the house resolutely, his brows furrowed in a thoughtful frown. He heard Feliciano's call and he heard how his voice became more and more desperate. That actually only added to Ludwig's annoyance. Hadn't he told him to get dressed and not follow him? He finally stopped walking when he heard the sound of the gate opening behind him. He turned around to tell the other again to go back into the house; the Italian couldn't seriously want to run around in the forest with just a blanket around himself...
"Feliciano..." Ludwig had only begun his sentence when he saw the smaller man trip over his own feet and fall right into the dirt. "Oh Gottverdammt." He hurried over to Feliciano to kneel down in front of him, placing his hands onto the other's shoulders. "What are you doing here?" Ludwig gently shook the shoulders in his hands, voice strong and strict but still held a small tone of worry in his words. "I told you to go back inside and get dressed. Look what you get from not listening to me!"
The blond tried to get a glance at the other's face to see if he was hurt, but he couldn't really tell if Feliciano was crying out of pain since he was crying before he fell. Ludwig actually couldn't tell why the Italian was crying in first place. He hadn't been crying in the guestroom earlier.
Feliciano barely even heard or felt the German speaking or shaking him, too distracted by his own tears and exhaustion. Everything was awful, too awful! Ludwig was mad and was going to leave, what if he left forever? The thought only made him sob harder, body trembling with every heaving breath. And Ludwig would leave because of him, and it was all his fault, and everything was just awful!
Not to mention that his body still hurt and his feet hurt from running, and his back and wrist hurt from the previous night, and his head hurt from crying and all the thoughts and confusion that had just plagued him since he woke up. Why did everything turn out so bad? What did he do?
But he knew for sure that he didn't want the German to leave him again; so in his panic, a stream of revelations began flowing from his lips, babbling on to say anything, anything, that would get the man to stay.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Ludwig! Don't leave me, please don't leave me! I-I didn't mean to make you mad, I didn't mean to make Ludwig l-leave, just don't leave me!" He finally lifted his face from the blankets to face Ludwig—the first time all day he had been able to bring himself to look at the man's face—tears staining his vision. "I'm not sick, I wasn't s-sick, I-I'm sorry f-for lying, b-but!"
The Italian almost choked on his next words, resolve faltering a bit, until everything flowed from him like a crashing wave. "But I didn't like it! I didn't like it at all!" He shook his head violently, twisting the blankets in his hands. "I-I told Ludwig n-no, but he didn't listen a-and that was really s-scary, a-and I-I like d-doing that stuff w-with Ludwig, b-but Ludwig was really scary and wouldn't listen a-at that only made me w-want to run b-because I-I don't like i-it when Ludwig gets l-like that, b-but then y-you tied me up and that was even s-scary because I-I couldn't move a-and Ludwig wasn't l-like himself a-and it hurt a-and I didn't like it, a-and Ludwig wouldn't listen, wouldn't listen at a-all, a-and it made it e-even worse a-and more scary because it wasn't like Ludwig at all!"
His voice gradually rose in volume until he was almost shrieking at the end, marred by his sobs and hiccups.
But he had finally said what he hadn't been able to say all day...and saying it out loud only made it worse. "It wasn't Ludwig at all! It wasn't Ludwig at all! I h-hated it!" His wails started up again, shaking uncontrollably, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands.
Ludwig's frown deepened with every word his lover said. The feeling of guilt twisted in his guts and clutched his throat in an iron grip, almost choking him. He hated having to relive his past mistakes. Fingers that pointed at him and voices that said "Look at Ludwig and what he has done".It annoyed and angered the blond. He worked so hard... so VERY hard to make up for his mistakes— to regain his image as an upright man. But it would always come up, again and again. No matter what the blond did or how hard he tried to control everything around him, that dark side inside of Ludwig which he couldn't control would pop up and lead him to do things he would regret after.
"I am sorry, okay? I AM SORRY!" Ludwig's grasp on Feliciano's shoulders tightened as he stared down at the other intensely. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I REALLY didn't." He was looking for an excuse where no excuses were, searching for the words to get the smile back on Feliciano's face. That one smile he loved so much.
"I'm just a MAN, I have cravings I can't control! And I can't stand that much teasing without loosing control!" Ludwig's voice rose with every new sentence. He didn't really mean to explain himself. There was nothing to explain. Ludwig himself couldn't understand what had come to his mind yesterday.
But he knew that he wanted to love the man in front of him, that he wanted to hold him and protect him and stay by his side every day of their future. But that was so hard to say...
"I don't know what happened! And I don't know how to make it better." Ludwig's desperation grew and he found himself rambling now that Feliciano finally spoke to him. "I cannot turn back time and undo what I did. I wish I could, but I CAN'T!" He shook the others shoulders once again, with more urge this time. "I don't know what to SAY, Feliciano! What do you want me to do? What do you want to hear from me?"
Ludwig wished for a manual right now. But there probably was no manual for this kind of situation.
Hearing the German's voice did nothing to soothe his thoughts. If anything, they only made it worse.
Of course, he wanted to hear Ludwig's voice—they had barely spoken to each other all day, and the words that had been spoken were hardly meaningful enough to make Feliciano feel any better—but Ludwig only sounded angry. So he was angry at him after all, and the thought only made the Italian sob even more, covering his ears at the accusing voice he didn't want to hear.
"I-I'm sorry, I-I'm sorry, I-I'm s-sorry!" He didn't know if apologizing would really help, but it was the only thing he knew how to do besides run away completely from this place. His fear of Ludwig leaving him when he wasn't looking kept him rooted in the spot however, so a stream of jumbled apologizes fell from his lips instead in an unintelligible heap.
But the shaking did startle and almost scare him, making the nonsense stop and the sobs intensify, shaking his head again against the feeling. "I-I don't know what I-I want, I-I don't know, I-I'm sorry!" Feliciano tried to calm himself down, but couldn't manage with the German so angry with him! "I-I-It hurts, L-Ludwig, y-your g-grip hurts...!"
Ludwig let go of Feliciano's shoulders and covered his own face with his hands instead. He rubbed his cheeks, letting out a displeased groan. Of course he didn't want to hurt his lover. He had done enough to him the day before.
He ran his fingers through his hair, stroking it back. "You have done nothing wrong! Stop apologizing. That is not helping at all!"
No, it really wasn't helpful. But what would be? Ludwig tried to find a good idea on how to solve this., but it nothing came to him. The situation was too difficult. And if Feliciano kept sitting in the chilly forest with just a blanket around himself he would catch a cold.
" 'I don't know' doesn't count and it is ALSO not helpful." Ludwig didn't have anything to rely on right now. He was too unsure of his own emotions and feelings to handle them. The only one who could help him find an answer was Feliciano himself. Ludwig needed to get him to talk!
"Do you want me to leave! Shall I go and stay in a hotel a few days so you can get some space for yourself?"
No, that would not be the right answer. Feliciano had followed him into the forest to make him stay after all. "I don't know Feliciano. All I can say is SORRY. I am really SORRY!"
Ludwig started to become frustrated and desperate. He had to bring this to an end or it would end up in an endless loop of apologies and nothing would be solved.
"What else is there I can do? Do you want me to marry you?"
Ludwig was no longer thinking about his words anymore. He was far beyond the point of rational thinking.
"I would even do that!"
Telling him not to apologize only gave Feliciano the urge to apologize for apologizing, and a few mumbled "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" managed to escape him before he could stop himself, unsure of what to say besides such.
Because he really didn't know what to say—the same reason why he couldn't speak that morning. And he really didn't know what he wanted, which is why didn't know what to say. Ludwig's words began to lose all meaning to the Italian as he tried to figure out what he wanted so he could tell Ludwig something.
But nothing came to mind except of how tired he felt and how his body ached and how this situation was unpleasant and scary, and how he wished it had never happened, and how scared he was that Ludwig was going to leave and never came back. Even if he didn't know what to say to the German and he wanted to run away from the situation, the brunet definitely knew he didn't want THAT to happen, in the least.
But a word did manage to wiggle its way into Feliciano's thoughts, and successfully shut down his mind for a few seconds.
How had that thought crossed Ludwig's mind?
"T-That's not...that's not...!" The wails started once again, Feliciano burying his face back into the blanket.
Suddenly all the tension left Ludwig and he physically dropped, shoulders hanging as he sighed. There was no point in talking when all the words that left his lips were only nonsense. Such as the last thing he has said. How had that thought even crossed his mind? Not to mention how it managed to come out...
Ludwig let out another audible sigh and stood back up to his feet. He leaned down and carefully put his arms around Feliciano to lift him into his arms. He couldn't do much more than bring his lover back into the house. He would catch a cold for sure if he kept sitting on the forest floor.
Ludwig walked back to the house with the smaller man in his arms, making sure that the blanket was still wrapped tight around the others body. There was no reason for him to get even colder then he already was.
The dogs surrounded the both of them, confused that their walk was over already. The blond kicked the garden-gate open with his foot, letting it slam closed after the dogs entered the yard.
"Ihr bleibt im Garten!" The order was stern and strong and Ludwig knew his dogs would obey. Entering the house through the backdoor, he carried Feliciano upstairs without a word. Ludwig walked up into the bedroom and stopped on the left side of the bed. Feliciano's side.
There he crouched down and dropped the other man gently down onto the bed.
Feliciano didn't resist being picked up, too busy hiccuping and sobbing into the blanket. He was so confused—now his head was starting to hurt too! Why did any of this even happen, he wished he could just start over and forget everything from the last few hours.
The trek back to the house was over before he even realized it, and he was out of the forest, gently being lowered onto their bed in no time at all. The Italian retreated back into his cocoon of blankets, his face the only thing visible from all the sheets—tears still running down his cheeks, but the sobs had quieted.
What was he supposed to do now? He still didn't know what to say (and he had been banned from apologizing, so anything he could say, he wasn't allowed to say), and he still couldn't of what to say. The sudden outburst in the woods of his confessions had left him mentally drained.
He tugged the blankets tighter around himself, letting out a mumbled "I'm sorry" before he could stop himself.
Ludwig dropped to kneel next to the bed at Feliciano's side. He reached over and tugged the sheets of the bed over the others curled up frame and settled himself down, crossing his arms on the side of the bed and rest his head against them. His face was right next to Feliciano's, and he watched his lover without words.
The others face was so distressed and flustered. And it was all Ludwig's fault. The blond didn't know what else to do. All the words were said, even more than he meant to say.
Or not? Maybe it was something he wanted to say? Was it something he kept in his heart, hidden from his own thoughts?
Ludwig frowned and narrowed his eyes, taking a closer look at Feliciano's face. Could it be that he really wanted it? Making the Italian his own for the rest of his existence and prove it to everyone else?
... By marrying him?
Ludwig reached over slowly to smooth a few loose strands from the other's forehead. Making Feliciano his partner for life didn't seem such a bad idea right now. Even if they were both men...nobody would mind here. They would be allowed to get married.
A light blush spread over Ludwig's cheeks as he let his fingertips lightly trail over his lover's cheekbones to brush some of the tears away from his cheeks. But would Feliciano agree? What if he said no? That could be the end of their relationship. And that was the last thing Ludwig wanted, even if things were complicated right now.
Maybe it was worth the risk...
Ludwig leaned a bit closer in and swallowed dryly to clear his throat. He would just try and ask.
"Uhm..." Ludwig's voice was low as he spoke, trying to get Feliciano's attention. "Häschen...?"
The lingering moments of silence between them still made him feel uneasy, but it did give the Italian time to calm himself, sniffles quieting and tears slowing down to all but a small trickle. He could at least bring himself to keep up Ludwig's glance (though his glance was still marred with tears). And besides, at least this time the silence wasn't fueled by unspoken words that needed to be said. Feliciano had said all he wanted to say—which left him at a loss to continue the conversation, but at least there was nothing being held back and eating him alive.
That was nice, but the situation was still not ideal. The wall was down between them, but it was more of a stalemate now.
He closed his eyes as Ludwig reached out and pushed away the strands of hair from his forehead, letting out a shuddering sigh. The tension slowly left his body at the gentle touch and, for the first time since he had woken up that morning, Feliciano felt almost relaxed. Although the relaxation slowly ventured into the realms of exhaustion—he had cried too much on too little sleep.
But the small and tentative voice kept him from his daze. His eyes remained closed, though the nickname did make his heart twist. Ludwig had only used it a marginally few times that he could remember, but there was something about it that made him happy, under normal circumstances. "Hmm?"
"This might not be the right moment..."
No, it really was not the best moment, but then...which moment would be the best?
"...but I..." Ludwig's already small voice died off, leaving him to ponder the words he wanted to say. They were just words, and Ludwig knew them... But saying them out loud was so much harder then he would have ever imagined it to be.
Ludwig took a deep breath and turned his head away from his lover to face the wall behind the bed. He moved his hand and placed it gently on the other's shoulder. Why did he feel so much smaller and breakable when he was huddled up like that?
"Feliciano..." Ludwig closed his eyes but kept his face turned towards the wall. "I might not be the best choice as partner and... I lost control, and do things I regret way too often... Uhm, there is a lot that I have done and that I regret with all my heart." Again Ludwig had to pause and ponder his words before he kept speaking with an even lower voice. "But one thing I have never regretted was that I decided to love you... That I let you into my house and my bed and that I opened my arms for you to hold you..."
Ludwig gave Feliciano's shoulder a firm squeeze and tried to focus on his breathing before he spoke out the words he had on the tip of his tongue for so long without even knowing it. He swallowed and mumbled them in embarrassment, not more audible than a mere whisper.
"I would be the most proud and honored man if you would agree to marry me."
Feliciano listened to Ludwig's low voice murmur, too relaxed and tired to input much thought into the words being said—though he tried his hardest to pay attention to every word. It seemed like an apology, almost, and Ludwig was putting so much thought in it, that he couldn't help but listen, heart twisting at the sincere words. Although, the last thing Ludwig said almost seemed like a marriage proposal, like before...
The Italian's eyes flew open, staring at the German like he was some alien creature.
Did he just say "marry"?
Feliciano sat up with a start—head spinning and back aching at such a sudden movement, but that wasn't the Italian's concern at the moment. "M-M-Marry? M-Marry me?"
His face was on fire, and he was sure if it could his heart would have already burst right out of his chest. Ludwig wasn't really...Ludwig was serious? The tears had returned, streaming down his flushed cheeks as Feliciano tried to wrap his head around...such a concept.
He couldn't be serious—Feliciano thought the German was going to leave him moments before, and now he was asking...he was asking...?
This had to be the most confusing part of the whole morning.
"W-W-What do you mean? M-marry...y-you can't mean me?" The Italian's voice rose a few octaves, barely more than a panicked squeak.
Ludwig fell back, away from Feliciano once the Italian suddenly sat up, landing back on his bottom. Feliciano's sudden panic took Ludwig off guard, and the German just stared at him for a few moments, his face as scarlet as the others.
"I... I..." Ludwig swallowed and sat up a bit, trying to fight his uneasiness with a stern scowl. "O-Of course I mean you, Verdammt! Who else?"
Ludwig hadn't meant to cause even more confusion. He didn't really know what exactly he had in mind by asking such a thing—maybe he mostly wanted to see his lover's smile back on his face, but maybe he intended more. Feliciano had become so precious and important to Ludwig. He didn't want to be without him anymore.
For Ludwig it seemed like the next step, to prove that he wanted Feliciano to stay by his side for the rest of their lives.
"W-Would you please kindly give me an answer before I DIE of embarrassment?"
Feliciano's hands covered his burning cheeks, barely able to hear Ludwig over the drumming of his heart. His mind was already sluggish from exhaustion (though he hardly remembered his sleepiness now), but it almost screeched to a halt as he tried to comprehend what was going on. Ludwig had proposed—proposed to him. Ludwig had proposed to him! Ludwig wanted to get married to him! Ludwig was serious? He couldn't be serious!
The Italian turned ever so slowly to face the other man, eyes still wide and teary, face still covered with his hands, unable to even fathom what was going on. Ludwig, who was so firm and structured in everything he did—who was still stubborn about showing affection after they had been going out for so long—who he would never expect to hear such things from so suddenly...
What did it even mean?
"M-Marry...m-marry you?" His voice had dropped to a whisper, thick with his tears again. "O-Of...of course I-I would love to m-marry you, b-but!"
Even the thought of getting married...of being married to Ludwig had tied his insides in so many knots that he was surprised he hadn't choked by now. He was happy, unbearably so.
"Y-you...you really want to get married, Ludwig?"
He had said yes, didn't he? Feliciano had agreed. Ludwig stared back at his lover... no, his fiancé, meeting his glance with flushed checks and wide eyes knowing that the other really wanted him. Even after all the scolding... All the hard training he pushed him through... Even after yesterday... In the end Feliciano still wanted him.
Ludwig didn't answer the other's question. Everything was said. No further words were needed. And what else could he say to Feliciano? Nothing...right?
Oh, yes. There was something he could say and he would say it. Because in the end nothing else mattered but those words.
"I love you!"
Suddenly Ludwig's hands were on Feliciano's cheeks, cupping the other's hands that still lingered there and leaned in, pressing his lips against his lover's with a shaky inhale of breath.
Yes, he loved his man, with all his weaknesses and imperfections, and his obsession for pasta and his strange behavior which Ludwig would never be able to understand. He loved everything about him, just because it was Feliciano.
Feliciano still didn't fully understand what was going on (he didn't know if he would ever fully understand, at the rate his mind was slugging forward), but it only took Ludwig's kiss to break him from his stupor.
After all, no matter what they went though, there was nothing Feliciano loved more than Ludwig's kisses.
He let out another sniffle—though this time the tears were from happiness, and a little smile formed on his lips as he slid his hands out from under the German's, tossing them around the man's neck instead. The Italian pressed himself as close to his lover as he could (and almost toppled out of bed in the process), giving Ludwig kiss after kiss after kiss until he was breathless from the effort.
"I love you, Ludwig! I do really, really love you!" Every word was marred and punctuated with another kiss, a bit of rusty laughter working its way from the Italian's chest. His stomach was tied in knots and his heart felt like it was going to explode, but he felt so happy. There was no other way to explain it.
"Ti amo, Ludwig! Ti amo!" What better way to prove their love? They were really engaged!
He was laughing again! Finally. It didn't mean that everything was forgiven and forgotten, but at least it broke the awful wall of guilt and betrayal that had been between them since they woke up in different beds this morning.
The happiness in Feliciano's words, his kisses and the tight hold made everything feel so much better. Ludwig had managed to bring the wonderful smile back onto his lover's face.
And they were going to get married. It only just crossed the blond's mind how much work the organization of a marriage would be. But by the way the other acted about the fact they were engaged made Ludwig believe that it would be worth the effort.
Ludwig removed his hands form Feliciano's face with a sigh and placed them on his sides. The smaller man had been tired before, and had to be exhausted by the whole morning by now. The blond gently pushed the other man back down onto the bed. He had nothing left to say now, but since Feliciano was allowing him to touch his body, Ludwig thought he could as well stay with him a while longer.
Reaching over, he pulled the sheets over his lover's sore body. It would be for the best if he just spent the rest of the day asleep in bed. Ludwig shifted to settle down next to Feliciano, draping one arm gently around his body and pulling him close against his own chest. A light kiss was placed on top of the others head before Ludwig rested his head back in to the pillow, getting a bit of silence for himself too.
It took only a moment of silence for Feliciano's exhaustion to hit him like a freight train—and with Ludwig's arm draped over him like the best blanket he could ask for, it was hard to resist the call of sleep.
His eyes closed of their own accord and a small sigh left his lips, snuggling a fraction closer to the German next to him. The day had turned out much, much different than he expected—thankfully much better than he expected, though he was no less confused than he had been that morning. Too many thoughts wanted to work their way into his mind—they were getting married now? Ludwig wasn't leaving? They weren't fighting? They were actually engaged? How would any of this work?
However, his exhaustion was much stronger than any of the thoughts or worries or lingering questions were, and the Italian found himself drifting off to sleep in mere moments. No longer with the thoughts and the confusion he had the night before—just happy thoughts of a marriage to come.
Ludwig loved him. Really loved him.
They were going to get married...
Ludwig laid still next to Feliciano and listened to the other's steady breathing. Sleep didn't seem to come to him as easily as it did for the Italian. The blond only waited, holding his lover's small frame close to his body.
His mind was full of thoughts. Ludwig had no experience of sharing his life with someone else in such a love relationship. Of course there was the time he already lived with Feliciano next to him, but still. A marriage was something different than just a shared household.
There were so many things Ludwig had to do research on. He rolled over gently, careful to not wake the other man up. He sat up with a sigh and leaned over the Italian to place a kiss on his cheek.
It would be worth it. Ludwig knew it. Feliciano's happiness and the love he got form the smaller man was worth everything.
Ludwig silently left their shared bedroom and closed the door behind him to leave his lover alone. The blond had calls to do. Roderich had been married more than once. He was the right one to ask for advice. And Ludwig had to go out to the bookstore and get research material, of course.
So much to do...but in the end it would be worth it.
'Gottverdammt' = 'Goddammit'
'Verdammt' = 'Dammit'
'Häschen' = 'Bunny' ( A very soft and gentle nickname, used in Germany for lovers, also a very private name that is not often used in public )
'Ti Amo' = 'I love you'
That's it. I kinda hope it was the long wait worth. And if not, we promise a the next chapter to come up very soon and that will be sexy. For sure.