Disclaimer: I do not own D-Generation X, Maryse or any other wrestler that belongs to World Wrestling Entertainment. I do NOT make any prophet from this. EVER. The shilling goes to Shawn and Hunter and their merchandise. GO DX!
DX's new member
By Alex Dhuyvetter
It was almost time for another episode of Raw. But his episode was special, for it was time for another reunion of D-Generation X. But, unbeknownst to the duo, one individual was waiting for her chance.
Triple H and Shawn Michaels were sitting in their dressing room, discussing their plans for the night's show. Mostly at the expense of Vince Mcmahon, and to other superstars as well.
"And then, we light the bag of dog crap on fire." Triple H scribbled down.
"What's with you and dog residue?" Shawn Michaels asked.
He shrugged, and Shawn rolled his eyes.
Yes sir, tonight was going to be a night to remember.
"So, do we have everything planned?" Triple H asked.
"Yep, that covers all the bases." Shawn replied.
"Well then, let's get the supplies and meet back here in half an hour."
Hunter and Shawn high fived each other in the X formation. Shawn left the locker room, with a list of stuff to get. Just then, he bumped into WWE Diva's champion, Maryse.
"Oh! Howdy Maryse!" Shawn greeted.
"Why, bonjoir Shawn. 'Ow are vous today, mon amour?" She asked.
"Oh, I'm doing good. How are you?"
She did a short, seductive wiggle, making Shawn cover his eyes.
"Le sexy, as usual." She said.
"I see. Well, I hate to cut this short, but I have to be going now." He passed her, but was grabbed gently by the arm.
"Where are vous going?" She asked.
"I'm going to get some stuff for…tonight."
"That's on a need to know basis." Shawn replied.
"But Shawn, moi would like to know." Maryse said, putting her hands on his chest.
Shawn took her hands off his chest.
"Stop that. Flirting will get you nowhere."
"Oh pooh. Please tell moi. Pretty please?" She stared at him, reminding him of his own children giving him that same look when they want something. He groaned.
"We're doing a DX reunion tonight." He admitted.
Maryse squealed with delight.
"Oh I love le DX! 'Ow exciting!" She exclaimed, placing her hands together.
"Yes, it's exciting, but keep it to yourself please? We don't want anyone to know!" He whispered.
"Oh oui! Sorry!" She whispered back.
"Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me…" Shawn tried to leave again, but was grabbed gently yet again.
"Um…Shawn, may I ask vous something?"
"Are vous and Hunter taking applications for new members? I have always wanted to be a member…"
Shawn gave her a look of disbelief.
"You? In DX? Well…"
"Um…why would you want to be in DX?"
Maryse shot him a look of disbelief.
"Why? Mon amour, it is the most "in" thing. Ze crotch chopping, ze rebellion, and not to mention…being with vous more…"
"Good grief." He mumbled.
"So, may I 'ave a chance to prove myself? Cevouspley?"
Shawn pondered about the prospect.
"Let me talk to Hunter about it."
"Oh thank you! Thank you!"
She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a giant smooch on the cheek.
"Maryse, you're choking me."
"Oh! Sorry." She released him.
"Now, may I go now?"
"But of course."
Shawn walked away, turning and seeing Maryse wave goodbye. Shawn smiled and waved back.
A new member? I wonder if Hunter will approve of her trying out…
"Aw hell no!"
"Screw that! I will not allow your self proclaimed #1 fan flirt her way into membership of DX!"
"Come on Hunter. You should give her a chance. Who knows? Maybe she will be very beneficial for us."
Hunter stroked his beard.
"Well, the extra sex appeal couldn't hurt."
"That's the spirit!"
"Now hold on a minute, we need to think about this. She needs to prove herself. Therefore, we should have her run some tests."
"Tests? Like an initiation?"
"Precisely my scruffy friend."
"What do you have in mind?"
Shawn, with eyes covered, knocked on the diva's locker room door.
"Yes?" A female voice asked.
"Um…it's me, Shawn Michaels. Is Maryse there?"
The door opened up, and screaming divas greeted him.
"We love you!"
"Kiss me, you fool!"
Maryse pushed herself to the front, and pushed the divas back into the locker room.
"I apologize for that mon amoir. 'Ow may I help you?"
"Come with me."
He took her arm, and took her to his and Hunter's dressing room. He gently pushed her in, and went inside and shut the door.
"What is going on Shawn?" Maryse asked.
"You still want to be a part of DX?" Shawn asked.
Maryse's eyes grew wide.
"More than anything!" She replied.
"Well then, let's see if you can hang with the big boys." Came Hunter's voice behind her.
She turned around, and Hunter tossed her a DX baby tee.
"Put this on."
"Maryse honey, it's initiation time." Shawn told her.
Vince Mcmahon stepped out of his office, and was having a chat with Theodore Long. Shawn, Hunter, and Maryse peaked around the corner.
"Alright Maryse. Here is your first test. Take this paper bag, and this lighter, and light it on fire in front of Vince's office. Then, knock on his door, and run back here."
Maryse's face squirmed in disgust.
"Maryse? What's wrong?"
"Ze bag smells awful."
"That's because it's filled with dog…"
"Shhh! He's going into his office now!" Shawn whispered.
Vince, finished with his conversation with Long, stepped into his office.
"Don't be nervous. Just light it, knock, and get the heck out of there." Shawn instructed.
Maryse nodded, took the bag, and placed it in front of Vince's office. But just then, the door opened, and Vince stood in front of her.
"Why, hello there toots. How you doin'?"
Hunter and Shawn watched in anticipation.
"Busted." Hunter said.
"Not quite. Look." Shawn whispered.
Maryse immediately turned on her charm.
"Bonjoir Vince. 'Ow are vous?"
"Why, I'm doing just fine, you sexy thing. Say, what's that bag you're holding?"
"Um…it's my lunch."
"Well I must say, you're quite a dish."
Hunter and Shawn stifled barfing noises.
"But Vince, I have come here, to show you what I got."
Vince smiled seductively.
"Oh oui baby. Turn around and I'll show you."
"You got it."
Vince turned around, giving Maryse time to light the bag on fire, and to run back to her hiding place with Shawn and Hunter.
"This is going to be hot, isn't it?" Vince asked, turning around. Realizing the bag on fire, he stomped it out. Afterwards, he sniffed the air.
"What the…dog crap? This is dog crap! WHAT THE…"
Shawn and Hunter laughed hysterically at Vince stomping up and down the hallway, cursing a blue streak.
"Well done apprentice. You have done well." Hunter said.
"Merci. Merci bow coo." Maryse said.
"Are you ready for your next test?"
"Bring it on."
"I feel pretty. Oh so pretty…" Dolph Ziggler sang to himself, as Hunter, Shawn and Maryse snuck behind him.
"Alright hon, second test. This is usually the time when Dolph gets a dye job from whomever dyes his hair. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to take this package of green Kool Aid powder, and sprinkle it into his bleach blonde dye. Are you ready?" Shawn asked.
Maryse took the powder.
"Oui, mon capitan!"
"Excellent. Whoop! Looks like their starting. Good luck kid." Hunter said.
Maryse strutted up to the makeup lady, and greeted her.
"Well hello Maryse. Are you here for a touch up on your roots?"
"No, but I was just wondering what that was."
She pointed in a certain direction, and Janice looked toward it. With Janice distracted, Maryse poured the contents of the Kool Aid into the dye mixture.
"I don't see anything hon." Janice said as she turned to face Maryse again.
"Oh. Well, it must've been moi's imagination. Goodbye Janice."
"Bye Maryse." Janice waved as she picked up the dye mixture. "Now then Dolph, how are you doing today."
With very animated hands, Dolph began to speak.
"Don't get me started sweetie. Do not get me started."
"And we'll see if that turned out to be a successful mission." Hunter stated as he Shawn and Maryse went to DX's locker room.
"Oui. That Dolph is, how you Americans say, fruity." Maryse said.
"Not that there's anything wrong with that." Shawn rebutted.
Whoop! Impromptu mission!" Hunter said as he grabbed Shawn and Maryse and pushed them into a hallway entrance. They peaked around the corner, and saw Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes, clad in jeans and Legacy t-shirts, walking down the hallway, talking about something.
"Alright Blondie, go and distract them with something sexy." Hunter said.
"Do that wiggle thing that you like to do." Shawn suggested.
"Knock it off. I'm married." Shawn warned.
"They're getting away! Now Maryse!" Hunter said urgently.
Maryse caught up to Legacy, and got their attention.
"Yoo hoo! Boys!"
They turned around, and witnessed Maryse performing a sexy dance. As Cody and Ted watched, DX snuck up behind them, and gave them double atomic wedgies.
"WEDGIE!" Hunter and Shawn said simultaneously.
Cody and Ted screamed in pain, dangling in midair.
"Shawn didn't want to say anything, but…" Hunter stopped.
"That my friends, is gonna leave a mark!" Shawn concluded.
Maryse went over to them, and Shawn and Hunter lowered them to her eye level.
"Little boys are such children." She taunted them, as tears rolled down their faces. Shawn and Hunter, mercifully, dropped them to the ground.
"Well done, darlin'. You have proven yourself worthy." Shawn beamed.
Maryse's smile grew even bigger.
"Really? You mean I am in?" She asked, squeezing Shawn's arm.
"Hold on there, goldilocks. You have one more test to complete first, and it will be in the ring." Triple H explained.
"Oh…" Maryse's grin slowly faded.
"Don't worry. It will be worth it. Won't it Hunter?"
Triple H grinned.
"Oh yeah. It will be worth it. And it will be something like this…"
ARE YOU READY? The crowd immediately got to their feet, and sang along with the opening lines of DX's theme. BREAK IT DOWN! The crowd erupted, and cheered Shawn Michaels and Triple H as they headed down to the ring, throwing hats and glow sticks to the grateful sea of humanity. They posed, and crotch chopped in perfect synchronization as the X fireworks exploded behind them. Shawn ran in a circle multiple times before handing Triple H the microphone.
"Will you please?" Hunter asked annoyed.
"Is this bugging you? Oh sorry, I didn't know. I was too busy running around in a circle."
The awkward silence passed, and Hunter spoke into the microphone.
"Are you ready?"
"No! Everytown USA, I said, ARE YOU READY?!"
"Then, for the thousands in attendance, for the millions watching at home…and for Vince Mcmahon's shoes, Dolph Ziggler's hair, and Legacy's tighty whities…"
Shawn gave him a puzzled look.
"…for not only will these things never be the same, but there was a certain individual that was responsible for them."
"And who was that, Hunter? It couldn't have been us." Shawn asked innocently.
"Of course it wasn't us! I mean, why would we do something like that?"
"Well then, who was it?"
"I'll tell you. Ladies and Gentlemen, the sexy temptress from the cold North…MARYSE!"
Maryse's music came strutting down to the ring, and performed her hair flipping taunt as she climbed to the ropes.
Shawn was lightly applauding, making Maryse giggle.
"Maryse, are you ready for the finals?"
"Hunter, do we have to do this?" Shawn asked, in a hint of disgust.
"Sorry Shawn, but this is the way deemed appropriate. You see ladies and gentlemen, Maryse here has been proving herself to be worthy of the group known as D-Generation X. And she has completed each test with flying colors. And it is now graduation time. Maryse, are you ready?"
Hunter pointed the microphone to her.
"Oui, you know it." She smiled coyly.
"Well then, bottoms up!"
And with that, in a straight line of Triple H, Maryse and Shawn, they pulled down their pants, or in Maryse's case; skirt, and mooned the crowd. On their posteriors said the words "Ooh la la." Shawn blushed in embarrassment, while Hunter laughed at his misfortune.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the newest member of D-Generation X…MARYSE!" Shawn stated proudly as he pulled his pants up.
Maryse ran over to Shawn, breaking character, and gave him a big hug.
"Well well Shawn, it looks like you're still the Heartbreak Kid after all." Hunter teased, watching Shawn blush.
"Maryse, please." Shawn begged, whispering to Maryse.
"Hold me a little longer…" Maryse whispered back.
The sweet moment was interrupted by Dolph Ziggler's music blasting through the arena. Dolph, fuming with his new green hair, stared at DX with hatred.
"You will pay for this. NOBODY messes with the hair. NOBODY!" Dolph yelled into his microphone.
"What's the matter Dolphy? Getting green with envy?" Triple H asked, snickering.
"That's one of the seven deadly sins Dolph. Shame on you." Shawn teased.
Then, Legacy's music blared, with Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase, rubbing their lower backsides, held microphones as well.
"You two old timers will pay for humiliating us in front of that beautiful lady!" Cody stated.
"Yeah! You probably brainwashed her to join you by putting some hypnotic potion into your Aqua Velva!" Ted accused.
"Does it look like we shave, genius?" Hunter asked/teased.
Before Ted could answer, Vince Mcmahon's music blared, and a very angry billionaire, shoeless, glared at DX.
"You three degenerates will PAY for what you did to my gnocchi shoes!" He bellowed.
"Boy, we have to pay for a lot of things today, don't we Hunter?"
"Yeah, we have to pay for a lot of things today, don't we Maryse?"
"Oui. We do." She said, smiling.
"Enough of this! Go get them gentlemen!" Vince commanded Dolph and Legacy.
They stormed the ring, and began to fight with DX. They got the upper hand, and DX fell flat on their faces, with Hunter falling out of the ring. Legacy double teamed HBK, while Dolph stalked Maryse.
"Come to the Dolph baby, you know you want to." Dolph growled. Little did he know that Maryse reached behind her back and took a small spray bottle of something out of her belt pouch. Dolph reached in for a kiss, but got a face full of mace.
"AUGH! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!!" Dolph screamed, getting Legacy's attention.
"You leave my 'eartbreak Kid alone, you nerdy coyotes!" She threatened. Legacy stalked her, knocking the mace out of her hand. Hunter came back into the ring, with his trusty sledgehammer, making Legacy perform a hasty retreat. Hunter took a closer look at his sledgehammer, and noticed that it had ribbons and lace all over it.
"Maryse! What did you do to Sledgie?!" Hunter demanded.
"Makeover. Now it's fabulous." Maryse answered with a smirk. Hunter answered with a frown, tearing off Sledgie's new accessories.
Maryse went over to Shawn, and kneeled down next to him, making sure he was alright.
"Are vous alright?" She asked innocently.
"For my #1 fan, always." He said, sitting up, shaking out the cobwebs.
DX regrouped, and they, along with Maryse, got in a straight line, and crotch chopped the crowd.
And so, D-Generation X had a new member.
And she is loving every minute of it.