How To Annoy Jane Volturi

10. Tell her that because she was frozen in a teenager state that she'll always be hormonal.

9. Walk straight into her and when she complains, say that you didn't see her.

8. Sing "Fire, I'm gonna teach you to burn" and do whooshing sounds and actions.

7. Tell her that because she's a witch, she is in the wrong book. Go back to Harry Potter!

6. Say that long black robes are so out of fashion, and that she should go back to Hogwarts.

5. Tell her that she isn't the man for Edward Cullen, and when she says that she isn't a man, tell her to grow up and hit puberty already.

4. Ask her if Joan of Arc is doing okay. Then set fire to something and scream, "I'm burning! I'm burning!"

3. Ask her if she secretly fancies Aro. When she says that Aro is too old for her, wink and say "Ah yes, but that didn't stop Richard & Judy now, did it?"

2. Buy her a cake for her birthday and put 1000 candles on it. Stand next to her with a fire extinguisher. When she asks you what you're doing, say that The Great Fire of London started in a baker's shop.

1. Ask her if she melts in water. When she asks you what you're on about, tell her that the Wizard of Oz never lies. Witches always melt in water.


How to Annoy Aro Volturi

10. Tell him he looks like a hippy.

9. Ask him if you could borrow his ecstasy.

8. Wink at him and say, "I know what you're wearing under that cloak".

7. Ask him if he's gay. When he says he doesn't know what you're on about, say "If you choose to swing both ways then it is fine by me".

6. Ask him something then when he replys, say, "That's what I thought." When he tries to touch you to see if it's true, tell him that he is a peodophile and should be locked up out of harm's way.

5. Tell him he looks like an onion.

4. Say that long black hair is not right on any man of any age, then say that he should grow dreadlocks and sing Bob Marley songs.

3. Tell him that the fairytale "Rapunzel" is not a real story and that he should let the wives out of the tower now.

2. When he wants to read your thoughts, yell and say you're going to report him to Childline.

1. When he tells you his age, say that he is too old to be working and therefore should give up his empire to you.


How To Annoy Caius Volturi

10. Give him Aro's ecstasy.

9. Say that he looks albino.

8. Slap him then pretend it wasn't you, even though there is no one else in the room.

7. Dress up as a werewolf and sneak up behind him.

6. Bite him, frown, then say "You don't taste like an onion..."

5. Say that he shouldn't be a Volturi leader because he is gay and has no special talent to speak of.

4. Tell him that Jane has a huge crush on him.

3. When he complains about Number 5, say "My backside is more talented than you".

2. Buy him his very own wolf. When he throws a strop, tell him that you got confuzzled and that you originally bought it as a guard dog for Aro.

1. Tell him that robes make a man look like a sissy. When he slaps you, say "Point proven.".