Pairing: Alucard/Seras
POV Characters: Seras Victoria
Genres: Humor/Romance/Alternate universe
Rating: K+ (Kiddies may read this, but I'm not responsible for any mental damage it causes. )

Chapter 2: Santa can you hear me?

(One year later)

"Kyaaah!" The foundations of the old manor were once again put to the test by the loud screaming voice of a single individual, yours truly, Seras Victoria. I have no idea how I do it but apparently I have been either blessed or cursed with an impossibly loud voice capable of bringing down buildings. But, let's get back to the reason why I screamed in the first place. Well, "Santa Clause" is a very bad boy indeed, it's a shame putting him on the naughty list will not make a difference.

"Master! Get the hell out of my bathroom, I'm trying to take a shower here!" I don't need to see his perverted grin to know that the information I just gave him was obsolete. He could quite easily feel what I was doing through the link that binds us. And I just know that was exactly the reason he came in, he doesn't need a shower, being able to just phase the grime and blood off his skin, and not caring in the least for a human habit like taking showers.

"I can see that police girl, what I don't see is how that would be a problem, I recall you offered yourself to me last... "Christmas" and now I'm suddenly not allowed to play with my Christmas present?" I blush at his statement, it was rude, it was inappropriate, it was every last bit like my master I can feel my cheeks heat up and I am quite sure my face reflects the fact that I'm feeding regularly.

"That's not what I meant! I Told you that many times before, I Offered you my blood, you have no right to barge in on me on my private moments!" He was still staring at me, his grin had only turned more lecherous if that were even possible. "I'm serious! If you don't leave now I WILL hurt you!" That statement wasn't supposed to make him lick his lips.

"If you plan on using those "Ballistics" to kill me, I can die a very happy man indeed, Police girl." Only now I realize that I was no longer covering myself and he was ogling my.. Equipment. Good thing about being a vampire was that I was able to wrap a towel around myself, Kick my perverted master in the back of his head, and exit my bathroom in mere seconds, at least shortening my moment of embarrassment.

By the time he recovered and had followed me to my room I was fully dressed in my Christmas elf outfit, for a moment he just admired the way it looked on me. Then realization hit him as to what it meant when I was dressed like this. "....So it's that dreadful day again isn't it, police girl?"

Now it is my time to grin at him cruelly as I hold up his red and white outfit for the holidays
"Yes it is "Santa Clause", Merry Christmas, there's work to be done." The look on his face at these words almost makes up for the embarrassing shower scene, but I'll have my revenge yet.

Despite master's initial resistance and his more than clear display of reluctance at doing his holiday work it is not long before we're sitting in the sleigh and searing over the rooftops of London, Alucard remains calm the entire journey and just as I expected, by the time we reach Europe his frustration is forgotten, as is my anger at his intrusion. Once we come to Paris his mood changes dramatically and he is back to his annoying, perverted self. I do wonder what the reason would be, I never knew he had a particular liking for France, often enough he would openly display his disgust at the fact that Pip, the resident Frenchman would come out whenever I was fighting a powerful foe, nothing he can do against it, Pip is after all my familiar. Master suddenly bursts out in laughter, hasn't he got anything better to do than reading my thoughts?

"You're right Police girl, I don't really like the French... But Paris is a whole different thing. The city of love, am I right?" I glare at him. Since when did he start believing in love? "Right again, Police girl, I don't believe in what humans call love, but Paris at this time of year has an abundance of mistletoe, and who am I to break that tradition?" Kisses are good but why would they be so special to him?.

"Delicate kiss is like Spider's webbing, soon leads to undoing of fly" I can feel my eyes twitching as he manages to yet again turn something as innocent as a kiss into something suggestive, where did that come from anyway? His answer I did not expect, but I can't help the feeling that in his case I should have. "I ate a wise man once, he tasted like chocolate." The rest of the night I spend trying to avoid the mistletoe, and master was right Paris was full of it.

I was so relieved when we finally reached America, The last country on the list, but when we reached the last place it listed, Perin's Asylum for the mentally ill, something did not feel right. "Master, haven't we missed someone?" When he did not answer I turned my head around to look at him, missed the model lorry that was lying on the ground, and fell face-first on the floor. It did not hurt much but the unnerving thing was that master did not laugh at me for tripping.

As he twirls me around, a pleased expression on his face I feel my gut twist and my eyes are instantly drawn to the ceiling above us, a small bundle of mistletoe hanging over our heads. So I see that I failed to avoid them anyway, damn! I sigh in exasperation as he brings his face closer to my own, part of me hoping he does what he.. Suggested. Part of me loathing the part that does, I have no idea which of the two is my vampire nature and which is really me but as our lips touch a whole different feeling takes over and before long we're engaged in a fierce make-out session.

"Santa? What are you doing to the nice elf girl?" My eyes snap open and my mouth freezes as master climbs to his feet, I know that voice.

"Marina Haynesworth, It's nice to see you, I see you have been good this year, so then why are you stuck in this rat cage?" My master remarks plainly as he helps me to my feet. Marina.. What is she doing here indeed? This place is house to those that have lost their mind, those that have been judged to be insane. I see tears fill her eyes and faster than any human child I've seen before, (though still slow to my vampire vision) she flings herself at me and buries her face in my chest.

"Stay!" The girl cries out, making Alucard and I exchange some confused glances. "They think I'm crazy, I'm not crazy, you have to show them you're real!" Poor girl, I can already see what had occurred, she must have told everyone after she met us, two years ago. 'I know what you're thinking, police girl, but we can't stay. Our master tries hard to keep us hidden to the rest of the world, and I like my head where it is.' Alucard half jokes through our mental link, and I know he's right. No matter how much I want to help this girl, we can't reveal ourselves now.

I look at the little girl with a sad expression, reluctantly shake my head no, hand her the gift we came to deliver and with a last fake smile turn around to leave through the chimney.

Two hours later I still haven't stopped sobbing, I feel horrible. I can't help but feeling responsible for the trouble the girl is going through. "Would you stop that already, police girl? As much as I hate this suit I'll have to wear if for another four hours until after our yearly meeting with Brambert and July, it wouldn't do to have it all wet now would it?" I look at my master with red puffy eyes and notice how I have been crying in his chest much like Marina did with me, another wrecking wave of guilt hits me and I burst out in tears again.

"Tell me my fair Seras, wouldn't you like to be a mother?" My head shoots up at his silly question only now noticing the presence of a third person on board.. I can't be... We haven't even.. Impossible, maybe he has. Alucard bursts out in mad laughter and I feel relieved to know that I indeed am not carrying anyone's child. So then the third person has to be..., two small hands cover my eyes and an all to familiar voice giggles into my ear. "Guess who!"

This is going to cause problems, yet I can't help but smile as the little girl sits down besides me ripping the wrapping paper off her present revealing her very own Hellsing uniform. "You know, "Santa", Sir Integra is probably going to be pissed if she finds out you abducted another girl, I recall you promising her I would be the last." His cold breath caresses my neck and I shiver slightly as his velvety voice caresses my ears. "I very much doubt that, it was her idea, Merry Christmas, wife."

I Am shocked, overjoyed, but shocked. Integra allowing him to take home a human child, him saying the words merry Christmas but most of all, him calling me wife and making it sound so natural. I nuzzle into his chest and somehow fail to be surprised as he wraps an arm around me, holding me against him.

But the greatest surprise of all would be when he called out in his loudest voice, for everyone to hear.


Christmas had definitely changed my master for the better.

The alternative name for this chapter could be "KawaiiKittychan and the race against the clock" In a few minutes I will leave and not return till the third of January, So I wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy new year. And.. Whatever else comes between, I'll be back on January 3rd, This chapter is definitely rushed, it doesn't just look that way, I'm sorry but I'm completely out of time. Don't let that stop you from leaving reviews though!

Till January!