Alrighty my dearies. This is my first multi-chapter Hetalia fic and shut up I absolutely ADORE this pairing. Do not. Know. Why.

I am extremely incompetent. And you should not expect me to update frequently or at all. REALLY. NO HOPE.

BUT. I WILL. TRY. Really hard!

Unbelievably this is not a spur of the moment kind of thing, had this idea for awhile and FINALLY got around to writing it. I have ideas for further chapters, but again, don't expect me to hold an updating schedule. I'm addicted to WoW, therefore I get sidetracked.

Also, PAIRINGS. I will not give them to you, NOPE. Read and find out! -shot- It's mostly the usual pairings. No surprises. 'CEPT MAYBE THE MAIN PAIRING. HMMM.

RATED T FOR LANGUAGE. NO LEMONS OR STUFF LIKE THAT. SORRY.

SO, without further ado, and without further useless rambling that absolutely no one will read, I give you:


I'll be the Princess, You can be Target Practice

Chapter 1: Patience is a Virtue


"Your Awesomeness."

"Yes, my loyal but significantly-less-awesome-than-myself servant?"

"We have received word from our Princess Party that a perfect match has been found for you at long last."

Somewhere behind him, a man groaned and mumbled an annoyed, "you said that the last eighteen times..."

Ignoring this, the servant continued unfazed, as if absolutely immune to ridiculous antics by now. And as he worked with King Gilbert every day, he most likely was. Either that, or he was saintly patient- maybe even a combination of the two.

"The Princess Party has also sent the specifics, and as per usual, they have performed their duties admirably. Considering the..." the small servant paused, screwing up his child-like face into one of intense concentration, searching for a fitting word "um... difficult.. circumstances, of sorts."

The red eyes of his King brightened, mind only registering the first thing the servant had stated- and before he even had a chance to hold out the folder addressed to King Gilbert, it was snatched from him quite swiftly. The servant didn't even flinch, as he was more than used to this by now.

He watched quietly and obediently, adjusting his white hat as he did so, as his highness' eyes moved back and forth along the papers inside, smile growing wider and wider with each paragraph.

Seeing where this was going immediately, the boy opened his mouth to give the most important piece of information he had yet to convey. The Princess Party had said it all in jest, but you could tell by the scratches on their faces, arms, legs, backs, and various other places that the visit to the princess had NOT been a pleasant one. And would not be so, as they said, for a king either. Though the servant disagreed with many of the kings' ways, he most certainly was a 'friend' of sorts, and would not send him to his death. Plus, he would be held accountable for the incident, and he didn't really want that either. Since he would most likely get his head chopped off or something of that nature...

Before he could utter a word, however, King Gilbert had catapulted himself off of his crimson and gold throne and sprinted in a most un-king like manner toward the giant double doors that led to the foyer, shouting a "K THANKS, FINLAND. I'LL BE BACK WITH THE PRINCESS SOON. SEE YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" over his shoulder, and along with the yells, the breezy ruffling of papers could be heard skidding to a halt on the red carpet.

Finland stood there with his jaw slack for a moment or two- now staring at an empty throne- and all thoughts of execution flitting from his mind. He turned dazedly just as his King's red cape whipped around the corner of the mahogany doors. When said doors slammed rather loudly, Tino regained his senses with a jolt. Eyes widened, as he started running toward the doors as well, holding his hat down as he did so. And at the guards on either side of the narrow strip of carpet leading to the throne (who were now snickering, as Finland noted) he sent an accusatory glare, which actually turned out to be an adorable pout- but Tino didn't know that. He leapt over papers as he, too, raced after his arrogantly annoying King. And as he flung open the doors, he prematurely screamed, "YOUR AWESOMENESS, WAIT, THERE IS ONE MORE THING YOU NEED TO-"

His words echoed through the empty marble foyer, and in the distance the thundering sound of horse hooves signaled the departure of the one and only Gilbert Beilschmidt. Apparently, hormones give him super speed.

Tino sighed heavily- blaming the Princess Party for their neglect to put the important information first in the folder. They, of all people, should know that the king would leave post haste upon seeing the picture of the remarkably adorable girl that they had foun- and oh those little bastards.

'They had done it on purpose! Oh they are SO getting a stern talking-to when they get back! It'll make their hangovers TEN TIMES worse!'

Hm, maybe his threats needed some work... Or maybe those Princess Party imbeciles needed to stop being assholes.

He groaned quite loudly and dug the heels of his hands into his eyelids, before feeling a broad arm slip around his tiny waist.

Assuming it was the guard who had made the smart remark earlier, he said softly (in a deadly way, to those who knew him well enough- he most certainly was not in the mood for horse play at the moment) "Denmark, would you please remove your arm from my waist?"

"No. Y'r m' wife. 'nd y' looked a b't d'wn. 'nythin' I c'n do?"

"Su-san," breathed Finland in relief, and as an afterthought, "I'm not your wife."

"Y' didn' 'nsw'r m' question, wifey," grunted Sweden in reply.

Sighing again, Tino looked up exasperatedly at his so-called 'husband,' and after a second of hesitation, decided to explain his rather unfortunate situation. What harm could it do? He was stressed enough, and perhaps an explanation would calm him down.

But for the second time in a 5-minute time span, he was cut off before he could even begin.

"Didn' g't t' t'll h'm d'd y'?"

Blinking rapidly in surprise, Tino nodded. For some reason, the squeezing of his side and the calmness in his companion's voice was making the worry ebb away, he vaguely wondered why that was.

"M'ght 'swell s'nd th' g'rds 'fter h'm. 'greed?"

Lightheaded from the new feeling of confusing relaxation in Berwald's arms, Finland nodded once more.

"We can only hope," Finland said timidly after a short and comfortable silence (in which Finland shook his head to rid it of airiness), "that our King does not get himself killed by a loony," and at his own words, he felt his heart race. Would he get killed? By the description the Princess Party gave... and the looks on their faces... Also, a loony with a gun did not make a good combination with an arrogant unrelenting prude. Who would no doubt march right up to the house and.... and...

Finland gulped.

"'m sure h'll be f'ne, Tino, relax," no doubt sensing his discomfort, he removed the hand around Tino's waist and started rubbing his back comfortingly.

"But-" began Finland- voice rising in pitch, already worrying himself into a panic at the chance of the king dying. He may be arrogant, but he would miss the fool. Plus it would be a lotta trouble for Finland. But it was mostly the first reason. Maybe.

"Relax," said Sweden, oddly clear of grunts- and as he said it, he spun his Finnish self-proclaimed 'wife' into a tight hug, resting his cheek on the white hat that the cutie always seemed to sport.

Stiff for only a second, Finland snuggled his head into the chest of the taller male.

"Alright. Now you get the guards and I'll send a letter to the Princess Party. ...Though they're probably drunk off their faces right now- it's how they celebrate, you know," it was only muffled a teensy bit by the shirt he had burrowed into.

Chuckling, Sweden kissed the hat he had his cheek resting on.

"I kn'w."

A few moments of calm quiet later, Sweden released Finland and held his shoulders for a moment, leaning down and examining his eyes for any sign of stress. Upon finding none, he smiled the smallest and most genuine of smiles, and kissed the now blushing Tino on the forehead. Neither said anything for a bit, Sweden putting as much feeling into the kiss as possible, and Tino trying to engrave this moment in his mind forever.

It was absolutely perfect.

"HEYYY GU- Whoa-ho-HO. What do we have HERE?"

The two broke apart and the taller male's eye twitched slightly.

"Denmark," said Finland, "what a... pleasant surprise!" 'Foul little cockroach, I'll feed him England's cooking. Trust Denmark to ruin such a perfect moment. I swear I'll rip off his b-' And as he thought all this, he glared menacingly at his feet.

Sweden almost chuckled at the sarcasm in Finland's voice and the absolutely adorable look he had when brooding.

But Denmark, mistaking it as genuine shyness, marched right on up to Tino in all his golden-armored glory and flung his arms around the now flailing boy, bellowing, "I LOVE YOU, TOO, TINO!"

The next thing he knew he was stuck in a trash can near the kitchens, watching Sweden's back as he attempted in vain to free himself from the waste basket. Eventually giving up long enough to pout at the man who was stalking away from the scene of the crime. But Denmark, being Denmark, smiled soon after. Optimism returning ten-fold.

'Maybe that new guy will be more fun to tease...'

Finland straightened his hat once more, and commenced the writing of the letter to the Princess Party in his tiny, yet accommodating office.

Not before he looked back into their research, however, splaying out all the fuzzy pictures and background information on his small wooden desk. Sifting through the papers, he found the photograph he was looking for.

Sighing, he forgot about the letter for a moment and leaned back in his chair, folding one arm across his chest and scrutinizing the picture underneath his fingertips.

"I swear, if he gets killed..." said Finland in a would-be menacing tone, if it wasn't laced with worry. If that Prussia got killed... he would most likely blame himself for it. And though he was a bit... unbearable at times. He was a great ruler, and there was most definitely no one like him. If that insane gunsman did anything to Prussia.... Those idiots from the Princess Party.... freakin' incompetent guards.... Why did everything always have to stack one on top of another, all at once?

For the first time in his entire life, Finland saw red.

He gave in to the sudden rage, and unrestrained, Finland began having a mini-tantrum in his office- as destructive as any small Finnish boy could be (not much, mind you).

A little later, when Berwald came in to calm Finland down in the most persuasive (yet questionable) of ways, a photograph lay torn beyond repair on the floor of the slightly disorganized room (slightly because all that Finland managed to do was throw a few papers around, turn over the waste basket, and rip up that photo. With difficulty, mind you).

The picture on the ground had up until recently held a furious-looking blonde with a gun pointed straight at the photographer from a second story window.

But Finland need not worry about Prussia seeing the picture.

Because, at that moment, he was seeing it in much higher quality.


ALOON: (Author's Lazy and Odd Obligatory Notes)

SO. LIKE? HATE? RANT, GO KILL YOURSELF?

Yeah. Well. This was just in my head for awhile. And I got it down FINALLY. I have lots of ideas, though I still don't know if I'm going to complete this or not.

SOES I LOVE YOU GUYS.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING.

By the way, my laptop is broken, and I'm writing this on my family's computer. LolIhopenoonereadsit.

Enjoy your SuFin. ENJOY IT.

Questions: WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS NEW PERSON THAT DENMARK MENTIONED?

WHO IS IN THE PRINCESS PARTY?

WHO IS THE PRINCESS?

AND WHO THE HECK IS THAT MYSTERIOUS GUNSMAN I GO ON AND ON ABOUT?! HM, I WONDER.

Feel free to answer these in your reviews. IF YOU EVEN REVIEW. /cry

SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER OR NOT.

P.S. I SUCK AT SWEDEN'S GRUNTING. HELP?

P.S.S. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING BUT HAS ANYONE EVER SEEN THE SECOND SHIPPUDEN MOVIE, BONDS? IT'S THE SHIT. GO WATCH IT. I ALMOST DIED OF AWESOME.

Yes.