Deadliest Cartoon Character
Disclaimer: I neither own the cartoon characters nor Spike TV's hit "The Deadliest Warrior" This is just for pure entertainment and not to be taken seriously…
Narrator: AJ, smartest child in Dimmsdale. A winner of many science fairs, the only student who receives As from Crocker's tests, with Ivy League intelligence, and friend of Timmy Turner.
(We see a bald African American child wearing a blue vest sweater, gray colored slacks, and black dress shoes.)
Narrator: Jimmy Neutron, smartest child in Retroville. The star of his show, a super powered mind, and a mechanical canine, while rescuing the day from sure destruction.
(We see a Caucasian American boy with brown 50s pompadour style hair, donning a red t-shirt with a yellow atom in the middle, a pair of blue jeans, and black and white Converse Sneakers.)
The two boys are child prodigies in Nickelodeon. Both have finest intelligence in their shows, invented many inventions, and arrogant to the fault.
(The screen shows Jimmy Neutron working feverishly in his secret lab, and then cutaway to AJ winning yet another trophy in his school's science fair.)
(The two boys charge at each other in the city streets to the battle to the death)
Narrator: They will reveal to their superior intuition and intellect to each other, by a duel to the death with neither rules nor mercy. Who is the more cunning one? Whose tactics outwit the other? Whose cuisine reign supreme? Only on…
The scene now shows inside building where sounds of fighting are heard. Various weapons, targets, and animal carcasses are displayed along with some high tech looking gear.
Narrator: Inside the fight club, the host of the fan fiction had gathered the contenders' friends and their inventions to test on who will win a match between…AJ
Show: The Fairly Odd Parents
Role in the show: Major supporting character
Hometown: Dimmsdale, California
Narrator: And Jimmy Neutron
Show: Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
Role in the show: The main protagonist
Hometown: Retroville, Texas
AJ's team is represented by two of his friends… Timmy Turner and Chester McBadbat.
For Jimmy Neutron is represented by his friends/test subjects of his own. Carl Wheezer and Sheen Estevez.
Narrator: The two teams are confident that their genius friend will win.
"Jimmy maybe smart and all, and we've helped each other plenty of times," Timmy said admitting his rival's smarts. "But I've yet to see if he's smart enough to beat Crocker's tests."
"AJ had smart parents, and everyone knows that smart parents equals smart kids." Chester said. "I doubt that even Jimmy can beat him in a game of chess, where you got to king him."
"Err, Chester that's checkers…" Timmy explained to him by whispering in his ear. "Chess is the game with the plastic horses."
"That's checkers?" Chester asked with an astonished look. "Then that explains why the pieces all look like tiny hockey pucks."
Back to Jimmy's team…
"Wow, a fight between Jimmy and AJ?" Sheen asked excitedly. "It's going to be a greater fight than Ultra Lord Vs The Crimson Chin Vs Crash Nebula!"
"Sheen, you got to answer who will win." Carl explained to his excited friend.
"Oh, then Jimmy wins all the way." Sheen said remembering his lines. "Anyone who can fight aliens and can beat any bald kid."
"Jimmy also appreciates llamas like, anyone who doesn't like llama isn't a nice person." Carl stated. "In our adventures, Jimmy saved our derrières plenty of times. AJ just abandons his friends."
Narrator: The teams brought four of their friends' greatest inventions…
Professor AJ mode
Neutron Flare Gun
Narrator: Testing for long-range combat is the Wristwatch laser.
Chester rolled up his sleeves revealing a simple watch.
"This is the smaller version of the security system from his house, now it's portable enough to defend yourself from a bully." He said as he walked into a firing range filled with several gel dummies all dressed like Francis. "This is a weapon you don't want to come across, since I nearly got friend myself."
Chester positions himself as he yelled, "Ready to fire to the count to three…THREE!"
A steady red beam fired across the range while emanating from the watch. All the gel dummies disintegrated into ashes.
No one has to be a doctor to know that the laser delivers a quick and painless death, but Jimmy's team isn't impressed.
"Nothing personal, but Jimmy's weapon is better and cooler." Sheen said as he begins wielding the Neutron Flare Gun. "Not only it can zap enemies but it can go even farther too!"
Sheen walks up to the same firing range with more gel dummies, as the countdown goes down to one. The hyperactive kid fires the flare gun and engulf all the dummies into flames, although it didn't completely incinerate the targets like the wristwatch laser. It'll give the victim a slow and agonizing death.
Sheen announced earlier that the Neutron Flare can go longer range and went outside to a larger shooting range to proof it. Only this time, the targets are dozens of yards farther than their previously fallen comrades. The Mexican boy fires into the sky and the flare rained down on the dummies like a mortar. Fire spreads and engulf the dummies into an inferno.
Chester then went up to the shooting range and attempts to hit the dummies in the same range, but the laser kept missing its target several times before eventually hitting it with only minor burns.
Narrator: Edge goes to Jimmy Neutron
Edge: Jimmy Neutron
Narrator: Confident for their turn, Team Jimmy brought the Hyper Cube for Mid-range combat.
In a safety locked room, similar to an airtight container. Carl is inside opened the Hyperspace Cube to a pile of pig carcasses. The cube created a vacuum and sucked all the nearby carcasses into the infinite space before Carl can close it just in time.
Timmy however isn't impressed as he walks up to him as he said. "AJ's smart enough to run away when danger's near, there's no way he'll just stand there, and get sucked up into your cube."
To proof his point, Timmy then summoned all of AJ's clones, and demonstrated them by ordering them different tasks from doing his homework, cleaning up, and fixing him a sandwich. As Timmy takes a bite, he smiled smugly, and said.
"Can your cube beat that?"
"No, but can I have a sandwich too?" Carl asked.
Narrator: Even though Jimmy created clones in the past, they were unstable, and had various minds on their own. While clones by AJ are designed to be loyal to the creator, thus AJ and his clones get the edge for versatility and great sandwich making skills.
Narrator: Close Range combat gives Team AJ a turn with the Stink Bomb
Chester walks up with a beaker filled with a noxious green liquid to a sealed glass room filled with a dummy.
"When we decide to pull pranks on people we don't like, AJ always make the best stink bombs." He said. "But for some odd reason every time he make the stink bombs, my special dip I made for them keeps disappearing."
Before the container is sealing up tight, Chester threw the stink bomb at the dummy just in the nick of time before closing the door. A noxious green fume engulfs the glass container, and despite of careful procedure, the slightest whiff managed to get through. Making everyone gagged and their eyes water.
In the background, people in Hazmat suits begin to quarantine the glass container. The Hazmat team concluded although it is smelly, the doses aren't to a lethal effect.
Narrator: The toxic weapon doesn't convince Team Jimmy and even the experts agree that it is more of a distraction tactic rather than an actual weapon. Now they bring up the Hypno Ray to the arsenal.
Sheen waved his hand in front of the nose and said, "We've smelled worst stuff before like Carl's parents after Chili night."
He then reveals the Hypno Ray and brings in a random test subject. Sheen fires the Hypno Ray to the subject, leaving the victim in a state of trance. The Ultra Lord fan ordered him for a copy of the recent chapter of Ultra Lord. Once under hypnosis, the user now controls the victim to do anything the former wishes and desires. Even to commit suicide.
Narrator: Edge gets to Jimmy Neutron for the possible lethality of the Hypno Ray.
Edge: Jimmy Neutron
Narrator: Team AJ isn't daunted just yet, as they revealed videos Professor AJ from "The Big Superhero Wish" episode.
"AJ is already a smart guy," Timmy said showing the video. "With him being smarter than usual, plus telepathy and telekinesis. Well, that's simply overkill."
The video shows Professor AJ using telepathy to contact his colleagues, creating energy shields to block attacks, and using telekinesis to move various objects in the streets.
Narrator: The pen is mightier than the sword but can it come close to beating pure strength?
Carl then shows the video with them as the N-Men, with Jimmy turning orange, and finally turning him into the Hulk-like creature. Leaping high across the sky and tossing tanks around as if there were toys. Jimmy stamps across the desert where he was able to hold back Cindy, Libby, Carl, and Sheen despite outnumbering him four to one.
"We made fun of Jimmy for being orange at first, but now we learn not to anger him in his form." Carl said with a regrettable tone in his voice.
Narrator: Classic decision of brains or brawn, neither side gets the edge.
Narrator: Testing is now complete; it is time to who will be more superior. We now upload the data gathered from the tests into a battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studios. To avoid a lucky shot, we will simulate the battle a thousand times on a battle between to geniuses.
Arrogance Vs Calculated Planning
(AJ is shown holding up a trophy in a science fair with a smug look on his face, then shows to Jimmy working feverishly in his lab to avoid any mistakes.)
Brains Vs Brawn
(A side split screen shows the two characters in their superhero forms)
Genuine dedication for helping mankind or demanding money in return
(Screen shows Jimmy making blueprints to cure diseases from the science lab, and cutting to AJ opening up a government check.)
The screen went all "Matrix" before revealing the Simulation.
Simulation: Jimmy Neutron is riding across to a city suburb in his hovercraft. He descends lower near the ground and checks to see where he is, until he spots a laser beam going straight at him. The kid from Retroville managed to jump out of the way, as the hovercraft explodes near him.
Jimmy managed to roll across the floor to avoid various debris, and looks at the direction where the attack came from. He then spots AJ with his Wristwatch Laser aiming straight at him, but Jimmy then returns fire with his Neutron Flare. Igniting AJ alive as he screams in agony, Jimmy get himself up to wipe the dust away. As he was about to sigh in relief, he heard another laser beam humming towards him. Thanks to his calculations, he dodged the attack in time, and sees another AJ…or more likely, him and his countless clone army. He fired off more of the Neutron Flare, setting fire on most of the clones but only to get quickly replaced from the ones that died.
The doppelgangers encircled at him and Jimmy knowing that he can't fight all of them straight ahead, decide it's better to run away. The chase itself didn't last long as more clones out of nowhere flanked Jimmy. As they drew closer towards him, he starts to sweat bullets wondering if it's his last day on earth, then suddenly, he got a Brain Blast, and pulls out the Hyper Cube. Jimmy opened the Hyper Cube and vacuum sucks all the clones into infinite space as the clones begin screaming for their artificial lives while desperately clinging onto various objects.
Jimmy manages to close the cube just in time before tucking them away for later disposal, as he begins to walk away. AJ snuck behind him and throws the Stink Bomb at Jimmy. The poor kid began to cough and gagging to his knees as he eyes watered. The odor began to burn his nostrils as AJ wore a gasmask and kicked him in the ground.
Knowing he's done for if he keeps hesitating, Jimmy took the risk by pulling off his Hypno Ray, and fires at AJ. But to dismay, he forgot that AJ is wearing a gasmask and blocking his view. But only then after that, it became a blessing in disguise since AJ also flinched away in fear, giving Jimmy an opening to fire off his Neutron Flare, finishing him once and for all.
As AJ dies from an agonizing burn, Jimmy begins to sigh in relief until he hears more footsteps marching. Jimmy reluctantly turns around as sees more clones marching along side one another, much to his horror. He tries to open fire, but ran out of ammo when he only heard a click instead. Thinking quickly, he tries to open the Hyper Cube but one of the clones saw this, and incinerates the cube away out of his hands.
While drawing closer to him, every clone in the block aimed his Laser Wristwatch towards Jimmy who then unleashes the Hypno Ray at every clone he can see. Then Jimmy orders everyone to kill each other and themselves, which they all did with gusto.
Unknown to him, the real AJ appears in his superhero alter ego, and using his telekinetic power to move the Hypno Ray out of his hands, and crushing it to uselessness. AJ then picks him up with his mind and proceeds to crush him under a force field. But unknown to AJ, Jimmy swallowed the N-men power before getting snatched when AJ underestimated him, and didn't even bother to read his mind. Believing that he'll win, became his downfall as Jimmy literally hulked out.
Hulk Jimmy's constant pounding became too much for AJ's force field and eventually broke through. Professor AJ tries to pick up various objects to throw at him, but Hulk Jimmy simply swatted them away as if they're mere bugs. Before he can get a chance to attack again or run away. Hulk Jimmy grabs the hover chair and knocked away Professor AJ to the ground as the chair crashes into a nearby house and explodes right after the muscular brute jumps off. AJ attempts to read his mind but only got a fist in the face instead, and with his last effort, AJ created an energy shield to block out his attacks.
In spite of this, Jimmy's increasing strength broke through as the shield fell apart, and was clutched tight in a bear hug. Finally, Jimmy then jumps high in the air before piledriving him to oblivion, causing a large crater that shook the city.
With his rival dead, Jimmy roars out victoriously in the sky….
Winner: Jimmy Neutron
Narrator: Between the battles of the geniuses, Jimmy Neutron won most of the fights by a whopping 720 of the fights, with his N-Men power getting the most kills. It is also because of his more experience in dangerous situations and not as overconfident as his rival AJ, who only won by a measly 280, with his clones having the most kills.
Jimmy Neutron's kills:
Neutron Flare: 175
Hyper Cube: 20
Hypno Ray: 175
N-Men Power: 350
Wristwatch Laser: 65
Professor AJ mode: 75
Discussion at the fight club, the two team talk about the outcome.
"I always know Jimmy will win, he's a star of the series!" Sheen said breaking the fourth wall.
"Jimmy can always pull a way to win and save the day." Carl said with a satisfied smile.
"Bah, who needs computers?" Chester said with a disappointed tone. "I can always count on AJ for helping me out."
"Maybe I did underestimated Neutron." Timmy says. "Maybe he can help me with my work someday, with his permission of course."
Scene shows back to Hulk Jimmy roaring to the sky again
Author's note: How was my first Deadliest Warrior parody everyone? If you're mad that your favorite character lost, then tough crap. I said it's for entertainment and I'll say it again.
Anyone interested for me making more, and match up requests. Just comment away!