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"Goddamn it – it's fucking FREEZING in here! Move over, you bastard – I'm getting under there too!"
"Mugen! This blanket's not big enough for three and you lost the coin toss fair and square! Like it's my fault the gods hate you, fool!" Fuu screeched from somewhere in the thoroughly ancient blob of the worn woolen saddle blanket they'd found in this night's abandoned shack.
"C'mon – I'm freezing my fucking balls off here, wench! Besides, I can warm you up better than limp-dick there anyways. Right, Limp-dick?" Mugen sneered and dove into the slowly heaving pile of bodies and worn wool.
"Shut your mouth, mongrel." Jin growled, his chattering teeth neatly neutering all threat of violence. It was just too damn cold for that shit.
"Mugen! Is that your foot? AHHH – get your knee off my hair! Bastard!"
The blanket began to funk and jive like it was an all-night rave whilst the bodies within jockeyed for position. No one wanted to be on the outside and there's only one middle, yo.
"Ahhhhh… much better." Mugen's muffled sigh heaved contentment.
"You are the lowest sort of person – the words escape even me for your lack of couth." grumbled Jin on the left side of the pile.
"Yeah – what he said, Mugen, you jerk." muttered Fuu from the right.
Neither could deny the fact that Mugen was giving off heat like a furnace and both scooted closer to the rouge swordsman out of frigid desperation.
"Hey girl, how's about warming up those soft little hands of yours? I got something big and hot you can hold onto for me…" Mugen whispered into Fuu's twitching, shivering ear.
Grinding her teeth together in frustration, Fuu nearly sucker-punched the pervert on the spot. A second later and she'd had a much better idea. Rolling onto her back and scooting a little closer to egg the brute on, Fuu wiggled a hand out from under the blanket.
"Oh you do, do you? Mmmm… I sure would like something nice and hot to fill me up.", she slurred out in what she hoped was unbridled lust.
Mugen's dirty giggle made Jin slowly, deftly begin tucking his end of the blanket snuggly under his body, preparing for what he knew was about to go down.
Fuu wiggled her fingers, getting them colder in the shack's icy air by the second.
Jin could hear a tie being untied, a button being unbuttoned and he shifted his weight, ready to spring.
"Oh! Is that for me? Oh baby – you shouldn't have…" Fuu sighed out in false appreciation and struck like a serpent, grabbing Mugen's hard, hungry dick in her uncovered and ice-cold hand with a pincher-like grip.
Two things happened at once.
Mugen screamed like a little girl, whipped the blanket off of himself and Fuu and somehow, leaped at least four feet straight up in the air, disengaged himself from Fuu's icy hand of Death and managed to be on the other side of the shack before the shock of the incident had a chance to jump-start the profanity train in his traumatized mind.
Halfway between Mugen's instantaneous explosion of shocked arms and legs, Jin managed to keep his stashed end of the blanket anchored down, grabbed the far-flung end, rolled it back down over a snickering Fuu and himself, then quickly tucked them both back into its warm confines before Mugen even landed in a cold-shriveled, swearing heap.
In less than five seconds, it was all over.
Jin tucked Fuu against him and settled down to a smug night's rest. Nothing made him sleep better than screwing Mugen over royally. Jin was looking forward to closing his eyes and buried his cold nose in Fuu's smoke-scented hair – home at last.
"Oh that was so FUCKING FUNNY, you little BITCH!" Mugen screamed back from his new-found corner of the hut, tucking his gangly knees into his hapi coat. He had to give her credit; that was exactly what he would have done in the same situation – he loved that girl. Not that he'd tell Fuu that, like – ever, but Mugen couldn't help but smirk ruefully at her cunning.
"Now I really am freezing my balls off…" he muttered to himself and put his head down on his arms to doze. So much for his oft-fantasized three-some; oh well – he had all winter to try again.