Pikette – Okay, maybe we should just skip this part-
Me – NO! I can't do that, because it breaks tradition.
Raiden – Tradition?
Me – That's right. It may be the most boring thing to do, but I got to do it. But enough of that, Pikachu, are you ready for this?
Pikachu – You bet I am.
Me – Good to hear. Now, to all my dear viewers, I must warn you. This fic that you are going to read… well I'm not going to lie it's messed up.
Pikette – Big time.
Pikachu – I can promise you that you will never look at Pokemon the same afterwards. Think of this story as a mixture of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon and Red vs. Blue.
Me – The bad part is, we're not even joking. Like, this is going to be the writer side of me you probably don't know me by. And trust me, it won't be pretty. I just hope all of you can handle it. But anyway, let's get this started! The song I have here is called "Super Massive Black Hole" by Muse. No, no credits music this time, I'm just gonna go into it. By the way, I do not own Pokemon.)
Pokemon: Randomness Extreme
The Sinnoh Chronicles
*Hotel Grand Lake. One of the most popular resorts in Sinnoh, almost all year round. Many people came to the five-star resort, including a couple of familiar characters. One, we all know so well, was lying in the pool on an inner tube, sipping on his drink with his shades on while on his phone.
"Guys, I'm telling you, it's amazing here," Pikachu said, talking to his old friends from Pallet Town. "Yeah, Ash and Dawn went on a seven-day cruise and they left us here, what luck. If you guys could, you should totally come down here." He then laughed. "Yeah, I know. Guess maybe if Ash had gotten with Misty you guys would've been somewhere like here too."
Meanwhile, Pikachu's friends were playing baseball, of all sports, on the beach. "Come on Monferno, you ain't got nothing on me," Buizel said, taunting him while holding the bat.
"Better watch it," Monferno said. "I tend to throw a rather mean curve ball."
"If that hits me in the face," Grotle said, who was playing catcher. "It is really, really, going to hurt." That's what happens when you tend to be the slowest of the group, no pun intended.
Buizel sighed. Sometimes he wished Grotle was such a retard. "Then close your eyes!" he snapped.
"Hey, you just focus on getting me home, alright Buizel?" Piplup asked, who was on second.
"Here it comes!" Monferno said. With a quick flick of the wrist, he fired the ball right at Buizel. Buizel, timing himself perfectly, swung and made contact, sending the ball and straight into the air. Monferno, a bit surprised, then screamed, "Staraptor!"
"Got it!" she said. She then flew into the air, following the ball and managed to catch it with her wing before it hit the ground. She then threw it in the opposite direction at a very high speed.
Piplup was running as fast as he could towards home base. However, as soon as he reached the home plate, the ball zoomed right towards Grotle, catching it with his teeth. "You're out," Monferno said.
"What!?" Piplup said angrily. "I was safe and you know it!"
"Sorry Piplup," Cyndaquil with a smirk on his face. "You were about half a second too late."
"You were about half a second too late," Piplup mocked him. "How about you go fuck off?"
"Nobody likes a sore loser, Poochama," Cyndaquil responded as Piplup walked away.
"Eat shit and die!" Piplup hated that name.
Meanwhile, on another part of the beach, Buneary and Pachirisu were sitting close to the ocean's edge, conversing. "I don't know, Pachi," Buneary said, calling her by her nickname. "Tonight's that party, and I feel like I should tell him, but I'm a little nervous."
"Don't be," Pachirisu said, smiling. "Besides, Pikachu already knows you like him. Maybe he's just waiting for you to admit it to him."
"Isn't he the one who's supposed to tell me?" Buneary asked.
Pachirisu shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe he's nervous too?"
"I don't know," Buneary said. "What do you think, Mamoswine? Mamoswine?"
They looked over and saw that was Mamoswine, as usual, was sleeping, causing both of them to sweatdrop. "Well, that's Mamoswine for you," Pachirisu said, smiling sheepishly.
Pikachu, who was still conversing on his phone, didn't happen to notice the baseball that suddenly plopped into the pool. Monferno, who had followed it, soon came up to the pool. "Hey, Pikachu!" he said. However, Pikachu didn't respond to him and kept talking on the phone. "Pikachu," Monferno then repeated. Still no response. "Oh for crying out loud, PIKACHU!"
"Can you guys hold on a minute?" Pikachu asked. He then looked to Monferno. "WHAT!?" he yelled, apparently annoyed.
"Can you get that ball for me?" Monferno asked.
"Hey, I gotta go so I'll talk to you guys later," Pikachu said, hanging up the phone. He then looked back to Monferno. "Why can't you get it?"
"Haha, very funny asshole," Monferno said.
"What?" Pikachu asked. "It's closer to you."
"Yeah, except diving into that water will kill me," Monferno said.
"Do you think that'll really happen?" Pikachu asked.
"I'll set your inner tube on fire," Monferno threatened.
"Alright, alright, I was just kidding," Pikachu said. He then jumped back into the water, got the ball and gave it back to Monferno.
"Thanks buddy," Monferno said. "So, you ready for that party tonight?"
"Sure am," Pikachu said, getting out and shaking himself dry. "We're gonna party tonight like it's 1999 all over again. What a year that was."
"I'm a little worried though," Monferno said.
"About what?" Pikachu asked.
"Grotle, since he's coming too," Monferno said. "You remember the last time he drank, when we first introduced him to alcohol?"
"Ugh, I don't feel so good," Grotle said. All six of them, including Piplup, were in Pikachu's room.
"Hey, how you feeling buddy?" Buizel said, coming up to him. It was obvious that he was drunk. But then again, everyone was drunk. "How much have you had?"
"A bottle," Grotle responded.
"A bottle!?" Staraptor said, who was the most drunk. "What a pussy! I can drink SO much more than that!"
"Aw, leave him alone, Staraptor," Monferno said.
"Yeah, not all of us can drink down shots like it's water like you can," Pikachu said.
"It takes… lots of practice," Staraptor said.
"Whoa, you alright Grotle?" Buizel then said. "You don't look so good."
"Ugh," Grotle said.
"Wait, what exactly did you have?" Pikachu asked.
"Um… I think it was called… Skyy?" Grotle said.
"WHAT!?" Piplup said angrily. "You drank my entire bottle of vodka!?"
"What the hell were you doing with that?" Monferno said.
"Hey, vodka for me goes down easier than other things," Piplup explained.
"Uh oh," Grotle said.
"Oh shit!" Staraptor said, somewhat amused by this. "He's gonna puke!"
"Get him to the bathroom!" Pikachu yelled.
"It's too far, just go to the window, Grotle," Buizel said.
Grotle went to the open window and that was when he spewed vomit like crazy. Unfortunately, he hadn't noticed there were other Pokemon walking outside below where he was.
"Oh shit! What the fuck!?"
"Oh come on, I just took a shower!"
"Son of a bitch!"
"I'm gonna kill the person who just threw up on me!"
"Yeah, I remember that," Pikachu said. "But as stupid as Grotle may be, I think he learned his lesson."
"Well, just in case," Monferno said. "Maybe we should just leave back in the room."
"Yeah, probably a good idea," Pikachu said. "At least he can stay at home and watch Dora the Explorer."
(A/N: Okay, that will do it for chapter one. Alright, I know it wasn't real random, but trust me, it will and it will only get funnier. Trust me, I'm a pro when it comes to randomness.
Pikachu – Say what again! Say what again, I dare you I double dare you motherfucker say what one more goddamn time!