FMA Fanfic - A Week Of Wrath
Warning: Contains possible spoilers and occasional use of swearing
Before you even get into reading this I just want to say that anything that may be considered yaoi is not taken seriously at all. And that some major events haven't taken place, but yet characters will make references to other major events which have been changed slightly. For example Hughes isn't dead (yay!) but he seems to know Envy and that Envy tried to kill him for some reason. Also this is going completely by the first anime so the homunculus Wrath is Wrath of the first series (a.k.a. Izumi's kid she tried to bring back to life).
Also this is completely random and many random references will be made. If you can spot them all (even the blatantly obvious ones) you will win a cookie.
The characters have been severely exaggerated as well. Especially Wrath's childish and immature and downright stupid qualities (before he went all evil and I got sad) and when it gets a bit crazy it's all very exaggerated.
I hope you all like it!
It was Monday; a new week for Colonel Roy Mustang and his group of trusted subordinates (and Ed). It was now lunchtime and they had all piled into the lunch room.
As usual Roy was bragging, Riza was annoyed at how little work had been done, Fuery was crying at a badly timed Havoc-dog-eating joke, Havoc was making badly timed dog-eating jokes, Breda was wailing about Black Hayate trying to lick his hand, Falman was going over work and Ed was complaining about his height.
"It's not that I'm… you know, but I'm just moderately not as tall as what would be considering normal," Ed explained to himself, "Yeah that's it."
"HI!" a voice shouted at Ed from beneath the table.
"Waah! Holy crap! Wrath?" Ed asked, shocked and confused, "Wha!? Why are you here?"
"Work experience," Wrath replied. (1)
"Work experience?" Ed questioned.
"Yeah, Pride… I mean the Fuhrer Bradley got me it!" Wrath smiled, while drooling inanely.
Ed, still looking very confused, asked "Do you even go to school?"
"Is school where the people who are a bit short go and sit and listen to people who think they're smarter than you talk about stuff they know a bit more than average about?" Wrath asked.
"DID YOU JUST CALL ME SHORT!!" Ed screamed – in typical Ed rant style.
"No," Wrath whimpered, before starting to cry.
"Fullmetal! Don't upset the creepy child," Roy shouted at Ed whilst pulling Wrath out from under the table.
"Now everyone," Roy announced, standing next to Wrath in front of the others (like a teacher addressing their class), "We have a new member. What is your name?"
"Wrath!" Wrath yelled, waving enthusiastically at everyone.
"Hi Wrath," they all said together, monotonously.
At this the Fuhrer walked in.
"I'm glad to see you're making young Wrath here welcome," the Fuhrer said to them.
"Sir, did you just blink weird?" Wrath asked.
"No, I winked you idiot."
"Oh, I couldn't tell 'cause of the eyepatch," Wrath giggled.
The expression of the Fuhrer's face was an odd mixture of "That kid is a complete moron" and "Seriously, WTF?!". Then he walked out the room.
"I should be very suspicious, but I really don't think any of this shall be explored or that there will be some secret homunculus plot, so screw that," Ed sighed. (2)
"So Wrath, would you like to tell the group anything about yourself?" Roy asked him.
"I like crayons."
"What?" Roy asked, confused.
"Crayons. My Mommy won't let me use pencils because if I put them up my nose they touch my brain and then I pass out and my brain feels colourful. So my Mommy gives me crayons instead," Wrath explained, all the time looking very serious.
"OBJECTION!" Ed shouted, "She's not your mommy!"
"Yeah, well. Your mom!" Wrath yelled at Ed.
"She is, but not really!" Ed shouted back.
"Your face!" Wrath yelled again.
"Ooh, burn," Roy and Havoc piped in, which was followed by a particularly childish high-five.
After ten minutes of a ridiculous back-and-forth between Wrath and Ed, Roy made everyone sit and eat lunch as the sooner he could go and "work" (meaning sleep) the better.
"Do you have any crayons, Edward?" Wrath asked, as he peered disappointedly into his lunch box.
"I'm hungry," Wrath said, as his stomach growled.
"You eat crayons?" Ed asked, shuffling away slightly.
"Don't knock it till you try it!" Wrath grinned and punched Ed lightly on the arm.
"Someone wanna trade seats?" Ed asked desperately.
"Ooh! Shiny!" Wrath said lunging at Roy's pocketwatch, "Gimme gimme!"
"Get… get off me!" Roy screeched running away with Wrath clinging to his leg.
"Lol," Ed snickered.
"What's going on?" Fuery whimpered.
Black Hayate trotted into the room and ran to Fuery, who immediately cheered up.
"Hi, buddy!" Fuery said, making a big fuss over him.
At this Breda leapt onto the table and started crying like a baby.
Wrath spun round and gaped at Black Hayate.
"DOGGIE!" Wrath screamed and took off a full speed towards them.
Fuery made the quick decision to try and save Black Hayate by scooping him up – as best he could - and trying to pass him to Breda on the table.
"Breda, save him!" Fuery cried.
And Breda passed out and fell off the table.
"I loves doggies," Wrath yelled, as he grabbed Black Hayate and started to pet him, "Omg, windows!"
At that Wrath ran at the window and started to lick it. (3)
Everyone sat still and silent now, except for Breda who was passed out on the floor.
"Strange, isn't he?" Riza broke the silence.
"Omigosh! Sparkly!" Wrath lunged at the window.
The others winced as he slammed into it.
"Ok, everyone back to work," Roy said, clapping his hands together and appearing blissfully ignorant of Wrath's actions, "Ed you will be patrolling with Wrath."
"Why?" Ed whined.
"Face it if I put him with Riza she'll shoot him, Havoc will disturb him more than he already is, he'll push Fuery into the mentally unstable zone, Breda is passed out and Falman's a workaholic who would suck at caring for kids," Roy replied.
"That kid freaks me out," Roy said, eyeing Wrath suspiciously as he started rolling around the floor drooling.
With that Roy motioned everyone else out the cafeteria.
"Good luck," Roy yelled as he closed the door over.
"I found a crayon over here!" Wrath screeched, ecstatic.
"Just shoot me," Ed sighed.
"Where we going?" Wrath questioned as he skipped alongside Ed.
"We're patrolling. So we're not really going anywhere," Ed replied thoroughly fed-up with Wrath's questioning.
"But why?" Wrath wailed.
"I want candy," Wrath cried.
"If you are good I'll buy you a crayon," Ed sighed to try and make him shut up.
"Can I choose the colour? Because I want a green one because when they touch my brain they make me feel green and happy," Wrath smiled.
"Seriously?" Ed remarked, giving him the "Are you really that stupid look?".
"Are we brothers?" Wrath asked Ed as they walked along.
Ed stopped dead.
"We have the same mother," Wrath said seriously.
"No Wrath, that's wrong. You have deluded yourself into believing the homunculus Sloth, who is based on my mother, is your mother because you have an abandoned child complex because of being trapped at the gate since you were a baby and upon getting out you grew up alone and are now looking for something to make up for your lost childhood and the first thing you needed was a mother figure," Ed replied, heartlessly. (4)
He turned towards Wrath who he sort of expected to be crying, but was instead chewing on a windowsill.
"Huh?" Wrath said between chewing the windowsill and spitting wood chippings.
"Nevermind," Ed sighed.
"So am I your favouritest little brother?" Wrath asked him, cutely.
"Were you listening to me?! Stop chewing the windowsill!!"
"I loves my brother Edward!" Wrath yelled launching himself at Ed and hugging him.
"It's gonna be long day," Ed growled.
They continued on… with Wrath clinging to Ed's automail arm.
"It's so shiny!" Wrath said, wide eyed.
Suddenly at the end of the corridor Ed spotted Roy and his group wondering aimlessly around the halls.
"Ah, crap!" Roy yelled, "Run! Run! Run!"
The group ran off.
"Let's play hide-and-seek Wrath," Ed said to Wrath, "You run and find them and I'll wait here till you bring them back, ok?"
"Ok! Anything for you, my beloved brother!" Wrath yelled, delightedly.
"Ok, off you go now," Ed replied, then muttered under his breath, "You deluded freak."
Need a place to hide. Need a place to hide! Ed thought desperately as he searched madly through the corridors.
Until he ran into the Fuhrer.
"So where is little Wrath?" he asked looking around, "You haven't lost him, have you?"
"Um, no. He's probably licking a window somewhere," Ed said, shifty-eyed.
"Yes, he's… odd," Bradley concluded, before saying, "Well, carry on."
"Yes, sir, Fuhrer, person," Ed rambled as his eyes darted madly.
He then took off down the hall before seeing Roy's office.
I can hide in there! Ed grinned.
He ran into the office and slammed the door, sending piles of paperwork scattering across the floor.
"Shit. Colonel's gonna kill me!" Ed said aloud.
"Damn right he is!" Roy shouted popping up from behind the desk, nearly giving Ed a heart attack.
"I can hear him!" Fuery wailed.
And sure enough when they listened they could hear Wrath approaching down the corridor singing something about him and his best friend and brother, Ed.
"He's right outside the office."
Everyone was now cowering under the desk (it's a bit like the TARDIS of the desk world) except for Breda who they had stuffed in a filing cabinet because Black Hayate tried to lick his hand and had passed out.
"Colonel can he breathe in there?" Falman asked, concerned.
"I think so. I mean he's not made any noise to say he can't," Roy replied.
Riza did a facepalm.
"Is Breda dead?" Fuery cried.
"Maybe," Ed shrugged.
"I hear voices from in there!" Wrath yelled as he threw the door open.
"Look what you caused, Fuery!" Roy whispered, whilst slapping the back of Fuery's head.
"HI!" Wrath shouted as his head appeared upside down and watched them all under the desk.
"Oh, hi Wrath," Ed said, trying to look happy, "You win."
"Well, I lose*," Roy sighed. (5)
Thanks for reading through the first chapter!
I hope you liked it!
(1) Apparently work experience exists in Amestris now (lol this was probably influenced by the fact I have work experience soon)
(2) Yes, I did mention it, but I really cannot be bothered with some serious plotline, just enjoy the randomness!
(3) I did warn you that it would be extremely random and that Wrath would be insane, right?
(4) This is my best attempt at explaining Wrath's situation, sorry if I got it a bit wrong and also Ed seems really heartless, to me, when he says it.
(5) I apologise to all who may have lost the game.
Thanks for reading.