SpongeBob's Christmas Coral

By Dimensiondude

Co-Written by SOLMaster

French Narrator: Ah, Christmastime again in Bikini Bottom. And at the Krusty Krab, people are jovial and giddy...well, except this guy.

Squidward blandly held out a tray of food, which consisted of Christmas Tree-shaped fries and the traditional Krusty Krab dish: a Krabby Patty. The big-nosed squid was also wearing a Santa hat, though he hardly looked joyful.

"Thank you for choosing the Krusty Krab. Happy Holidays." Squidward said, blandly.

"Psst…" came a voice from the kitchen.

"WHAT?" Squidward asked, grouchily.

"You forgot the Holiday special." SpongeBob stated. He was also wearing a Santa hat, but he looked a little more jovial than Squidward.

Squidward sighed, reached over to a cup besides the cash register, and pulled out a candy cane. "Here's your free candy cane, sir." Squidward finished, wishing he was anywhere but here right now.

"Thanks." The customer said before walking off to his table.

SpongeBob gave a cheerful sigh as he moved next to Squidward. "Don't you just love Christmas, Squidward? The laughter, the joy, the merriment?"

Squidward gave SpongeBob an uneasy look, then answered sourly, "The only joy I feel about Christmas is that it's the one day of the year where I don't have to come to work."

SpongeBob laughed and replied, "But nothing compares to the joy of spending everyday at the Krusty Krab."

Both turned at the sound of an opening door to see two familiar old men enter the restaurant. One had a big nose and the other had a starfish on his nose.

"Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!" SpongeBob shouted in joy as he rushed over to them. "Can I get you anything, sirs?"

"No thanks, kid." Barnacle replied, not too fond of the fanatical sponge. "We're just here because Shady Shoals is forcing all us old folk to go out in the cold to collect money for the poor."

"So, would you mind making one small donation, my good man?" Mermaid Man asked, holding a small tin can and jingling its contents slightly.

At the word 'donation', who should pop out of his office than the owner of the Krusty Krab himself, Mr. Krabs?

"Donate to the poor?" Mr. Krabs asked the two, "Why? What have the poor ever done for me?"

Barnacle Boy and Mermaid Man stared in shock, though Mermaid Man's stare was a little questionable on the "shock" part. After a while, an abnormally flat look replaced Barnacle Boy's surprised one in no time flat.

"I told you this was the wrong place to start." he groaned, then turned to walk out the door. Oddly enough, Mermaid Man was still standing there, staring at Mr. Krabs with apparent shock.

"COME ON!" Barnacle Boy said, grabbing Mermaid Man's arm and dragging him away.

"Wait! WAIT! I haven't made my order!!!" Mermaid Man screamed as his young ward dragged him away.

Mr. Krabs continued to stand there with a grouchy look. "Bleh, good riddance."

SpongeBob stared with a confused look until he said, "Mr. Krabs? Was it really right to kick them out without giving them anything?"

His boss just turned to him and said, "If there's one thing I can't stand on Christmas, it's these folks goin' around and asking me to hand over me money to others."

"Oh, but Mr. Krabs, it's always a kind thing to give to those less fortunate than you and I." SpongeBob mentioned with a large smile. "The poor need Christmas, too, you know."

Mr. Krabs poked SpongeBob on the chest as he spoke, "If the poor want Christmas, then they should quit actin' poor and make their own money instead of askin' good ol' Krabs to give them some of what they worked so hard in life to make."

When Mr. Krabs turned away and made for his office, SpongeBob just stared in confusion until he and the others felt a rumble. But it turned out to be Mr. Krabs' daughter, Pearl.

"Daddy!" she shouted in a loud voice.

"Aye," Mr. Krabs asked as he walked over contently to his daughter. "What is it, sweetie?"

Pearl replied excitedly, "I know what I want for Christmas! The ultra popular and coral designer snow boots." She showed him a picture of purple boots with flower designs from a magazine. "Everyone's getting a pair."

"Oh, not this again..." Mr. Krabs groaned, then beckoned Pearl to follow him. "Spongebob, Squidward, wait here while I see how much money I can part with..." Soon after, he scuttled off into his office, his whale of a daughter bouncing behind him.

Sponge and Squid stared for a while, until Spongebob asked, "How long will this last?"

"I'll give it five minutes tops." Squidward answered. Squidward turned, then went wide-eyed as he realized that Spongebob was gone. "Spongebob?"

One blink of an eye later, Spongebob was back, looking more giddy than usual. "Sorry, Squidward, I was just giving a small donation to my heroes."

Squidward gave the sponge a flat look, then stated in a tone to match his expression, "You amaze me..."

By that time, Pearl burst from Mr. Krabs' office crying a geyser of tears. A second after she belted out the door, Mr. Krabs wiped sweat off his forehead (whether he had a forehead or not, nobody knew).

"Whew...THAT was a hassle." Krabs groaned, "Now, back to business boys. Meet me in me office..."

"This can't bode well..." Squidward said as he took a seat in Krabs' office.

And in case you feel ripped off, be patient. Things'll get to the Christmas Carol you know and love soon enough.