Please have mercy on me! I really tried not to start another story, I swear! I tried to abondon this idea for two months and nothing T.T

The update for "Bodyguard" will be soon, so please be patient.

This is a very random idea that I had about what could happen after the war. It might have some story mistakes which might not work with actual story but I still want to give it a try. Everything is happening after the war so manga spoilers ahead. This chapter is mostly an introduction, explaining things and giving possibilities of what could happen. It doesn't have to be taken seriously.

It also is based around one of my favourite cracks, so I'll hope you'll enjoy it ;)

And yes, it also is planned as dark story.


Chapter 1

The voice

The war was finally over and the horror that was known as Aizen was finally destroyed by none other than Kurosaki Ichigo. Even though Aizen's subbordinates had fallen, he on his own was able to do far more than all of them put together. His shikai was able to fool everyone in the town what had allowed him to invade the zero squed and the king. It still was a mystery how Aizen was able to reach such highs in power and even bigger mystery was how exactly he got defeated…

Right now everyone were doing all their best in order to help the wounded. Inoue Orihime had arrived at the place of tragedy right in time to save the ex-VC Sarugaki Hiyori. She was able to get both parts of body together but it would take far longer time before the girl would be able to fully use them again.

The next in line were all others who had lost some kind of limb, mostly those were one handed people. All the rest were hospitalized and taken care of by captain Unohana. It was a long time when it was that busy in 4th squed, everyone were running back and forth trying to help as much as possible. The first one to get his hand back was Hachigen Ushoda. One of the reasons was that he could help with healing afterwards and another that Soi Fon had refused to go ahead, claiming that she wanted to see Kisuke Urahara trapped as soon as possible.

In the end when things had finally calmed down, Hachi really had put Kisuke into the box. Soi Fon would visit him almost every day to make fun out of the poor guy but somewhere in the middle, for her biggest dissapointment, it had appeared that it was just one of Urahara's special gigai's, while his real body was wondering around and observing everything from the side. Soi Fon had never been that embrassed and angry before. She and Kisuke had a cat and mouse game going on for about half an hour, with her trying to stab him to death. Thankfully Yoruichi had managed to calm down her friend while Kisuke was hiding right behimg purple haired beauty.

Soi Fon was the second person who got her arm back, she was observing with wide eyes how limb by limb it was coming back. It was hard to believe that once again she could use it like nothing had happened. Sadly her full recovery didn't end there. Being able to use bankai twice in one day had drained her very much making half of her abilities to become less officient. She swore that if her powers were at full 100%, she really would have killed the poor Urahara. But it had served her as a very good lesson and now even though she hated her bankai, she was determined to try and train with each more often so it wouldn't weaken her that much and that she could use it more often. Who knows, maybe she would also be able to decrease it in size. Comander Yamamoto was kind enough to offer her a special area where she could blow up things without any big damage to anyone.

Right now Soi Fon was in 4th squed, waiting for captain Unohana to finally do the last examination. She hated not being able to use her powers at full force and waiting for such a long time for them to finally get back was pissing her off even more. She had tried to train but the moment she got caught by Unohana made her change her mind. Even though the tone of the voice Unohana was using was the most innocent one but her eyes were clearly saying "Disobey me again and you'll spent the rest of your life in bed". The memories of that day still were sending shivers down her spine no matter how hard she tried to keep herself together.

Finally the door had opened and Unohana's vice captain Isane had appeared in the entry. It always surprised Soi Fon how had she managed to get that tall and get such good body proportions when her sister was only slightly taller than Soi Fon. Sometimes Soi Fon really wished to be taller and have faintly bigger breasts but that wish was always washed away during the fight where her small body was giving her a lot of advantages. It still didn't stop her from admiring Yoruichi who managed to look like goddess with all right proportions and still be able to be faster and stronger than majority.

"Captain Unohana is ready to see you captain Soi Fon" Isane had bowed respectfully.

"Finally" retored Soi Fon, keeping scowl on her face.

Without any other word she had passed the tall girl and stormed right into the office. As always Unohana had greeted her with big smile.

"Hello captain Soi Fon, how are you doing today?"

"Will be much better when I'll be able to finally train again" she retored and crossed her hands "Could you remind me once again why I can't train?"

"Because your strengh hasn't fully recovered yet and if you will push yourself too hard, your condition might get worse"

"But I feel perfectly fine! My strengh and speed are fully back already!" she tried to protest.

"Ara, were you trying to train again, captain Soi Fon?" the tension in atmosphere had immediately increased the moment Unohana had opened her eyes.

No matter how prideful Soi Fon was, it still made her back away slightly. A small drop of sweat had appered on her face.

"Don't be stupid, I'm a proud catain of 2nd squed and commander of special forces, I do keep my word!" she tried to defend herself.

"That's good to hear" and once again Unohana's mood had changed to her usual motherly like.

'That woman really likes to give me creeps!' thought Soi Fon before taking back her prideful stance.

"So how much longer do I have to do nothing?"

"Another week, afterwards you can start your training once again. During that week I would like you to take this medicine" said Unohana and had placed a small bottle, with some liquid inside, on the table "You need to drink it three times a day, you can drink it today too"

"Another disgusting medicine?" she took the bottle.

"Ara, you don't like our medicine?" another shiver was sent down 2nd squed captain's spine.

"Well it definetly is better than Omaeda's crackers!" she tried to calm down the woman before her.

"You really have tried them?" Unohana looked surprised.

"Not really…" seeing that the mood was about to change again, she had quickly corrected herself "But other squed members did and I heard that they are horrible!"

"I see… well captain Soi Fon, I guess that's it. You may go"

"Then I'll take my leave" answered the small woman and was about to leave the office when woman behind her had stopped her.

"Oh and one more thing. No bankai training the week after"

"I don't have any wish to train with it right now anyway" answered Soi Fon and had left the office. Without giving Isane or anyone else a glance, she had walked out of 4th division and headed back to hers where she would have to deal with her stupid of an oath vice captain Omaeda.

Deep down she was really thankful to him. Despite being a disgusting coward, he still was the main reason why she still was here. If not him, she would riot to death along with her hand. There was no time for her to get her sword back to original form and cut off her own hand bak then. Even though her bankai attack had failed, what was making her rage, he still had bought her time even if it was done in shemaful way. And if he didn't catch her twice after using bankai, who knows how much longer the recovery would take. But despite all that she would never let Omaeda hear it or even know that, her pride didn't allow her but most importantly there was no way Omaeda would ever shut up if he heard it. His pride would jump to another scale and she wasn't sure if she would be able to deal with it without killing him.

Finally she had reached her headqueters and was going right towards the office when she had noticed a lot of people near it and some of them were not from her squed. Furrowing her browas she had quickly shunpoed inside.

"What in the world is going on here?!" she demanded, annoyance was evidently visible in her voice.

Shinigami inside had immediately froze on spot, almost everyone were holding her stuff: her table, chair, documents…

"Captain!" was heard loud voice which was followed by load footsteps and soon a big, ugly face had appeared right before the tiny captain "I tried to stop them but…"

"But what, you fool?" she grabbed him by the collar, terror was rapidly running throug Omaeda's veins.

"It is my fault" was heard another voice,, but this time it was a happy and carefree one.

"Ukitake…" she slowly turned around to meet eye-to-eye with brightly smiling, white haired captain who also was on recovery as her. Thankfully the injury that the arrancar had left wasn't too critical but with Inoue Orihime there, it didn't really matter "What is the meaning of this?" her eyes narrowing with each word that had escaped her small, thin lips. Her hand had let go of a poor vice captain who was sweating like a pig.

"Please continue the work" he encouraged shinigami around him who were obviously from his division, then he had faced Soi Fon once again who seemed to become more impatient with every passing second "Ah, gome Soi Fon" he had nervously rubbed the back of his head, he knew better than to cross this woman's path. The experience of getting pinned to the tree was enough to make him wish to never go through it ever again.

"So?"

"We are doing an office restauration"

"I can see that" her temper was getting to it's limit "I'm asking WHY?! This is MY office!"

"It can't be helped, after the war everyone are having a slight modifications in order for us to forget about all those bad things that have happened lately"

"I'm perfectly fine"

"Those are orders from Genryusai-dono" Ukitake's voice had become more seriouse.

Hearing the mention of general commander made her tense. Those were orders from above and she was not the type to disobey even if she dissagreed. Her hand unconditionally had grabbed the sleeve of her hakama and lips were straightened in a thin line. After taking a deep breath, she had relexed "Do whatever you have to do" she had passed by Ukitake "But if some documents will be missng, you know what is waiting for you" she answered and walked out of the door without glancing back.

"H-hai" Ukitake sweatdroped, not the best memories once again started to come to his mind. Quickly shaking them off he went back to the work.


It was already dark and a bright moon was shining brightly in the sky. The restoration was finally over and now Soi Fon had a completely new desk, chair, shelves and a lot of other staff. The next hour, after the work was done, she had spent going through the documents and paperwork, making sure that everything was on place and counting on how much beating Ukitake would need. She had nothing against him, but she was not the type of person to let things go like that without any consequences.

Thankfully for him, everything was on its place and she wouldn't need to pin him to the tree again. She had spent several more moments in the office, simply sitting in the chair and glancing out of the window. Tonight was a full moon ank skies were clearly clean without any clouds around. Slowly she had reached for her left hand and grabbed on it slighlty. Closing her eyes, memories of a horror that happened not so long ago had visited her again. There was no way she would ever froget Hueco Mundo's King, the only person who had ever freaked her out but then the image of an ugly skull was replced by a brightly smiling fraccion, who she had fought right before her nightmare had started.

"A fool"

She opened her eyes and stood up, movig towards exit. She had locked the door behind and went back to her quarters and to her room. After taking a cold shower, she had put on a night kimono and went toward her matres, hair rings ranging in the cold air, being the only noise in whole room. Soi Fon almost never put her hair down, it was too much trouble to put it back later and she had no wish to cut it fully short. If she had cut them off, she would be an exact copy of Yoruichi-sama. Even though she admired her dearly, she still wanted to be unique and different from her goddess.

She was about to lay down when she had noticed the bottle, that Unohana had given her, on a night stand.

"How stupid" she sighed and went to get the bottel.

She slowly had opened the bottle and pored the mixture into the glass. After taking a deep breath, she drank it. Soi Fon hated medicine, it made her feel sick despite being sweet… actually she hated sweets. Sticking her tounge out of the mouth with disgusted face, she went back to the bed and finally laid down. After saying her good nights to Yoruichi-sama, she had fallen asleep.


The next day was busy, even though she couldn't train herself, she still didn't allow her squed to slack off and was terrorising them half a day until they were not able to stand anymore. After the harsh trainin Soi Fon was stuck in her office, filling in the papers. Two weeks had already passed since the war had ended and yet there still was no end to it all. She was just in the middle of the work when a knock on the door was heard.

"Come in" she ordered without raising her head. The door had opened and loud footsteps were heard "It better be important, Omaeda"

"I just have brought more documents that needs to be filled in"

"Put them on my desk"

"Hai" he quickly had landed the pack of paper on the writing table and was about to leave when…

"Wait" Omaeda froze "Did you look through them?" Soi Fon raised her eyes.

"Of course not! How could you think that?!" Omaeda protested and turned around.

Without any single word, Soi Fon had looked through the new bunch of paper before stopping somewhere in the middle "What is that?"

"Huh?"

"How many times do I have to tell you not to toch the documents with your dirty hands!" she shouted before pushing a paper, with Omaeda's dirty finger tips on it, right into his face.

"It is a misunderstanding!" he started to shake his hands before him "It had fallen on the floor and I had simply picked it up!"

"Get out of my sight before I snap your neck!"

"Hai!" Without another word he had rushed towards the door.

Not waiting for his full leave, Soi Fon walked back to her seat when…

"Teme…"

"What did you just call me?!" she shunpoed right before Omaeda's huge form.

"I didn't say anything!" he tried to protest but was already sent to the floor.

"Call me like that again and I promise that today will be the last day you eat crackers!" she shouted, her eyes shining brightly in the dark.

"But it really wasn't me!" Omaeda cried out, not bothering to get up.

"Then who? You are the only one here!"

"I swear I didn't say anything!"

"Omaeda you…"

"Teme…"

Soi Fon's eyes widened in shock and she rapidly had turned around, searching for an intruder 'Omaeda's mouth was shut just now'.

"Captain. It really…"

"Shut it!" she answered without looking at him, her eyes were searching around the area, not leaving a single corner un-checked "Did you hear it just now?"

"Heard what?" he asked still scared.

"A voice"

"No"

"Don't play a fool with me here!" she looked back at him, making poor guy jump backwards.

"I swear!"

Soi Fon had looked around again "Omaeda… organize a search party and look around whole territory, got it?"

"Hai…"

"Then why the hell are you still lying on the floor?!" she roared.

"HAI!" and without waiting another second, he had rushed out of Soi Fon's sigh.

Leisurely Soi Fon had reached for her sword, making sure to take it out the moment she will see something suspiciouse. Step by step she had walked through the corridor but didn't see anyone. She was starting to back away to her office when once again a deep, loud voice had echoed in her head.

"How dare you to kill me?!" the blood in Soi Fon's veins had frozen.


Soi Fon: Why do you hate me that much? Didn't you make me suffer enough in your videos?

Bad One: I can't resist myself, it is so much fun to make fun out of you!

Soi Fon: I would recommend you to reconsider it -points sword towards my throat-

Bad One: Eeehhh...

Ggio Vega: Hell yeh! Finally it will be me who will dominate!

Soi Fon: Shut it!

Ggio Vega: Make me!

Soi Fon: Sting all enemies to death, Suzumebachi!

Ggio Vega & Bad One: 0.0


So how was it? As I said it is only an intriduction, much more mind twisting will happen in the future.