A/N: This was written for StoryGirl02's Photobucket Love Quotes Challenge for two different quotes: "I just wish I could forget you." and "I miss your love more than you'll ever know." I really like this one, so I hope that you do too. Though I'll warn you, it is after three-thirty in the morning so my proof-reading skills might not be one-hundred percent right now. ;)
Disclaimer: Everything you recognize belongs to JKR. Oh and title credit goes to John Mayer's song "Only Heart." (Which I thought fit this little one-shot perfectly.)
It had been five years, three, months, and approximately twenty-four days – but who was counting? – since I last saw him. So when I walked into Flourish and Blotts, the last person that I expected to see was him, standing with his back to me, a book in his hand as he examined its cover. He was taller than I remembered – but he was only seventeen when I saw him last, making it possible that he actually was – but his white-blonde hair was exactly the same.
I stood frozen in place, trying to remind myself to breathe. He placed the book back onto the shelf and stared to turn around, instantly setting me in motion. I quickly dived behind the nearest bookcase and out of what was soon to be his line of sight. I tried to calm myself down, but there was no hope for that whatsoever – my heart was beating a million beats a minute. I leaned against the bookcase, letting it support most of my weight as my legs now resembled something close to jelly. My eyes were closed tight and my ragged breathing was loud in my ears when I heard the sound of footsteps growing louder and louder. I hoped whoever it was would just keep walking, and pretend I wasn't even there.
But I didn't count on the person walking towards me to be the one person I had been wishing I would never see again, yet at the same time, hoping everyday that I just might catch a glimpse of him.
"Ginny?" his perfect silky voice asked, sounding shocked, surprised. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes.
"Hi Draco," I said, my voice barely a whisper. His gray eyes were wide and unsure as they met my own. I had to stifle a gasp as I finally caught sight of his face. He looked exactly the same, except his face was more defined, and more, well, grown up. He was gorgeous, so much so that it nearly took what little breath I had left away.
"H- how have you been?" he asked, and I thought that was probably the first time in his life that Draco Malfoy had ever stuttered. Even though my mind was still reeling at his sudden reappearance in my life, his question was enough to bring back all of the memories that I so desperately wished I could just forget.
"How have I been? Really, Draco. Why even bother with asking questions that we both know you don't give a dang about the answer to?" I turned away from him, trying to make my way out of the shop as fast as I could, but his voice stopped me after only a few steps.
"I do care Ginny," he said quietly, and with what sounded like poorly concealed pain in his voice. First an unsure look in his eyes, and now pain in his voice? Was this just some stranger, who happened to look like Draco Malfoy, messing with my head?
I whirled around. "Bull. You don't care about me at all and we both know that." I took a step forward, and poked him roughly in the chest. "So you just stay away from me," I growled.
"I'm sorry Ginny," he said after a moment's silence.
"You're sorry, seriously? You break my heart, but not before making me fall in love with you, and now years later you finally want to say sorry? Well you can take your apology and shove it." I didn't realize that my voice had been steadily rising as I spoke, until I heard someone clear their throat. I looked over to see a tall brunette standing just behind Draco's right shoulder.
"Umm miss, would you mind quieting down or taking this outside?" she said glancing over at Draco before looking back at me expectantly.
I gave her a glare and had to fight against my own Malfoy-like smirk when I saw her take a half-step backwards. "Fine," I said, "I was just leaving anyway." I turned around and headed right for the door, ignoring all of the eyes that I could feel resting on my retreating back. I pushed open the door, a soft jingling of bells sounding as I did so, and stepped outside. I spotted a bench a few shops down, and went instantly toward it, letting out a shaky breath as I sat. No Ginny Weasley, You are not allowed to cry, I thought as I rested my head in my hands.
I thought that I was over him – or as over him as it was possible for me to be. I realized a long time ago that I was never going to be good enough for him, that despite how great things were between us, how much I cared for him and how much I knew that he cared for me, it was never going to be enough to stop him from following in his father's footsteps. Just as I knew he would, he left me brokenhearted, trading me in for a one Lord Voldemort.
Sure it hurt at the time, but I thought I had gotten past all of that, had moved on. It wasn't until today, seeing him standing there with that hurt in his eyes and wanting desperately to comfort him, to do everything in my power to take all his pain away, that I realized I had been wrong. I was not over it, not over him, and I never had been. I wanted to scream. Why did I have to fall in love with such an arrogant prat?
"Ginny," I heard Draco's tentative voice and I wanted to just pretend that I didn't hear him. But I knew him, or at least I knew who he used to be, and he wasn't going to just let me get away with ignoring him when he was so keen on talking to me.
"What?" I tried to channel all of my hurt into anger, but my voice just came out shaky and quiet.
He looked sad, so sad. His eyes full of some ancient grief. I wanted to hope that maybe, just maybe, that sadness was for loosing me, but I pushed the thought away before it could fully form in my mind and leave me worse off when I realized that it had absolutely nothing to do with me.
"I meant what I said. I really am sorry, about everything." In all the years that I had known him, even back when we would spend almost every waking moment together, I had never seen him like this. He seemed to be just a shadow of his former haughty self, like somewhere along the line he had lost all of his riches, his name and everything tied to it. "I might as well have, I'd give it all up anyway if only…." It was only then, heat rising to my cheeks, that I realized I had been thinking aloud. But despite my embarrassment, he had me curious now – which was probably yet another sick and twisted plan of his to break my heart yet again. But even if that were the case, I couldn't help myself from playing along.
"If only what?" I asked, my voice still shaky.
He met my eyes. "If only I could go back and change things. Make different decisions than I did – better decisions." He looked away, off at the people strolling leisurely down Diagon Alley, and ran a hand through his hair. "I never should have left you, Ginny." He let out a humorless laugh, and met my eyes. "I thought I would be able to move on, to get over you, to forget about you even." He laughed again. "God, I had no idea of how big of a miracle I was asking for." I felt my heart squeeze pleasantly as he spoke the words that I had waited so long to hear. But no matter how happy what he was saying made me feel, there was no getting around the fact that he hurt me, badly at that, and if he did it once…. Suddenly I felt tears start to fall from my eyes and I looked away, not wanting him to see the effect he was having on me.
"I love you Ginevra Weasley, and I always will," he said simply, his voice so honest and sincere that I couldn't stop a fresh wave of tears. I let out a sob. Why did he have to do this? My heart was being ripped apart all over again. How could I possibly turn him away after all of these years of still being in love with him? But how could I possibly forgive him knowing that there was a very good chance this could end just as the first time did? The tears kept coming, my breath coming in shaky gasps and I felt him sit down beside me and pull me close to him, wrapping his arms around me. I stiffened for a moment, seriously considered pushing him away, but a stabbing of pain through my heart at the very idea of trying to run from the one place I was meant to be had my tears coming with a whole new vigor. I found myself slowly relaxing into his arms and he stroked my hair and whispered soothing words into my ear.
At last I felt my breathing, and heart rate, slow to what I was sure was a much healthier rate, and I lifted my head from his shoulder to look up at him.
"Do you?" I asked, my voice harsh from crying.
"Ginny," he said taking my face in his hands. "I have never, and will never stop loving you. Having to live with the knowledge that I singlehandedly ruined my own life, that I pushed you away from me… that I hurt you." A tear fell from his eye, leaving a cold trail down his cheek, and without thinking I lifted my fingers to brush it away. I let my hand linger on his cheek, and he turned his head, lightly kissing my palm. "I could never expect you to forgive what I did, and I would never ask you to, but if—" I couldn't take this anymore, trying to deny to myself the only thing, the only person, that I ever have and ever would want was just a ridiculous task – one that I was done with. I leaned forward, pressing my lips against his; effectively silencing whatever else it was he had to say.
The way I looked at it, there would be plenty of time for talking, plenty of time for the many conversations that we would inevitably have to have. But for right now I was happy enough to push that off to a later, more appropriate time.
A/N: I would really love some reviews on this one. =]