You ever get those crazy ideas that just leak out of your brain and onto the page? I blame my room mates for this.
Disclaimer: I don' own Kingdom Hearts, or House, MD. Lord, do I wish I did.
Fun in the Morgue
House grinned as he watched his soaps, feet propped up on a cadaver. He was, once again, hiding from Cuddy, having made a crack about her breasts. He grinned again around a mouthful of Reuben, enjoying the cheesiness of daytime soaps. The morgue was the safest place for him at the moment. As soon as the Terminex people he called came to fumigate her office, he'd have to retreat to the park.
His eyes glanced over the newest body in the morgue, a young man that had been hit by a car. Although it had been only a glancing blow, the paramedics had no luck restarting his heart, and the young man had been declared DoA. With no ID, and no family or friends nearby that could be found, the man had been brought back to the Hospital to be cremated.
As the cheesy soap went to commercials, he picked up the clipboard, curious about the young stiff. There wasn't much information, height, weight, estimated mid twenties, ToD, red hair, green eyes, and facial tattoos. Without an autopsy, the sheet was very sparse.
"Sucks to be you pal," House muttered as he put the clipboard back, turning back to his portable TV.
"You have no idea buddy."
Blue eyes flicked up at the new voice. "Whoever you are, I didn't do it!" he called, thinking one of the nurses or orderlies had found him.
Only to stumble to his feet as the corpse lurched upright.
The young man groaned in pain as he stretched, the sheet falling to his lap as he rubbed sore, aching muscles. "Sheeeeeet, what in Hades' name hit me?!" he groaned, running long fingers over his thin torso, probing a large, purple bruise covering his ribs.
House gave him a wide-eyed look, still on the floor as he stared at the corpse, unable to believe that the man was up and talking. "A um, a truck hit you," he stammered, grabbing at his cane.
The young man hummed as he rotated his arm, working out the cramps. "Really? Heh, explains why I'm still alive, could have sworn that Saix had caught up to me," he grinned, carefully easing himself off the gurney, so that bare feet were planted firmly on the cold linoleum. Another easy grin as he pulled the sheet loose from his waist. "So doc, were did they stash my clothes down here?"
House shook his head. "No way, a dead man is not talking to me, the Vicodin is just making me hallucinate. Again. You," he pointed, "are going to lie back down on that gurney like a good dead guy!"
The red head smirked as he cocked his head at the doctor, hands on boxer-clad hips. "Ah doc, so mean," he chirped, picking up the discarded Reuben, taking a bite from the cold sandwich. "Just 'cause I don't have a heart, it doesn't mean I'm dead. Can I have my clothes back now?"
"Of course your heart isn't beating, you're dead!"
The red head sighed as he glanced around the room, looking for his pants, taking another bite of the sandwich. "I don't have a heart-beat, cause I don't have a frickin' heart! Got it memorized?!"
"All I 'got memorized' is the Vicodin hallucination of a corpse in chili-printed boxers that's eating my lunch!"
A sigh as the last of the Reuben was popped into his mouth. "What would prove I'm real to you?" he asked, checking a bin for his boots. "Would a swift punch the head help?"
"Couldn't hurt, 'specially since you. Aren't. Real!"
"Oh doc, now you're just asking for this."
House shook the stars from eyes as the dead-man-who-wasn't-really-all-that-dead leaned over his form on the floor. "Now will you help me find my cloak?"
"Sure. Just don't hit me again?"
House groaned as he eased himself up, nose throbbing as he reached for his discarded cane. "So, even if you don't have a heart, how are you still standing after getting run over? You should still be out as it is."
The red head grinned as the doctor lurched to his feet, pointing his cane at a drawer in the wall. Opening it, he pulled out his leather pants. "I'm tougher than I look."
"You'd have to be."
"And as for my heart, I lost it to the Darkness, a long time ago." he sighed as he sat back down on the gurney, strapping on knee-high boots. "The others say we can't feel anything, no anger, or happiness, but part of me wants to prove them wrong."
He couldn't help it. The small part of him that was a competent doctor wanted to examine the young man, to try and find out how he could be alive without a working heart. But even hurt and half-naked, the red head had an air about him, like a big-cat just waiting for him to let his guard down. Wisely, the man backed off, hand wrapped around the handle of his cane, ready to use it to defend himself if need be.
It was only the work of a few more minutes for the red head to dress, throwing on gloves and cloak. A sigh as the young man leaned back against the gurney, which was luckily locked so it wouldn't move. He shook his head, fingers running through that fiery hair. "I'm looking for someone, an old friend. Have you seen a blond kid running around? Spiky hair, blue eyes, completely lacking a heart? Or how about a brunette traveling with a duck and a dog?" he asked as he stretched, settling the leather around his frame.
"Nope, can't say I have." A duck and a dog? Almost as strange as the dead guy walking around without a heart.
A groan as the young man gritted his teeth. "Maybe I should just kidnap someone, see if he comes to me!" he exclaimed, obviously frustrated.
"Oh yes, commit a felony just so that you can find a kid who is probably avoiding you for good reason as it is. Great idea! Oh, by the way, you're an idiot."
A laugh as the lanky man got back to his feet, a graceful motion that reminded House of a dancer or a bird. "Thanks for the glowing recommendation doc!" A final stretch before a devil-may-care grin. "I should get going, it's not a smart idea to stay in the same world for too long."
"Don't you mean same place?"
Green eyes had a wicked sparkle as he raised a hand. "No, same world." With a flick of the wrist, a rip seemed to open in mid air, a portal of darkness that swirled and hummed as the summoner pulled the hood of his cloak up. A happy grin as the young man saluted the stunned doctor. "Take care doc!"
House could only blink as the Nobody entered the portal, only to pause and stick his head out of the Darkness. "Oh and by the way, if you see a short little guy with blue hair and a pair a scars across his face? For your own sake, you didn't see me!"